How to Think More About Sex


Alain de Botton - 2012
    By examining sex from a subjective perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance.

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality


Christopher Ryan - 2010
    Mainstream science--as well as religious and cultural institutions--has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.Ryan and Jethá's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself


Melody Beattie - 1986
    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

The Five Love Languages: Men's Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate


Gary Chapman - 2004
    Gary Chapman tackles the tough relationship issues men face-how to express your feelings to your wife, how to interpret her responses, how to make sex more meaningful and pleasurable for you and your wife-in this special edition designed specifically for men. At the end of each chapter are ten ideas for expressing that particular love language to the woman in your life. Do you think her love language is gifts? Take the quiz and find out, then use the practical tips and tell her how much you love her.

Games People Play


Eric Berne - 1964
    More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut’s brilliant Life magazine review from 1965.We play games all the time–sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini” (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like “If It Weren’t For You” and “Uproar,” to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game” and “Let’s You and Him Fight,” Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.

All About Love: New Visions


bell hooks - 1999
    In eleven concise chapters, hooks explains how our everyday notions of what it means to give and receive love often fail us, and how these ideals are established in early childhood. She offers a rethinking of self-love (without narcissism) that will bring peace and compassion to our personal and professional lives, and asserts the place of love to end struggles between individuals, in communities, and among societies. Moving from the cultural to the intimate, hooks notes the ties between love and loss and challenges the prevailing notion that romantic love is the most important love of all.Visionary and original, hooks shows how love heals the wounds we bear as individuals and as a nation, for it is the cornerstone of compassion and forgiveness and holds the power to overcome shame.For readers who have found ongoing delight and wisdom in bell hooks's life and work, and for those who are just now discovering her, All About Love is essential reading and a brilliant book that will change how we think about love, our culture-and one another.

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul


John Eldredge - 2004
    And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to" be" the Beauty of the story. And yet―how many women do you know who ever find that life?Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.The message of "Captivating" is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.

Guide to Getting It On!


Paul Joannides - 1996
    It all comes down to communication and this is one book that has no problem with telling it how it is.

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship --Toltec Wisdom Book


Miguel Ruiz - 1999
    In the tradition of Carlos Castaneda, the author distills essential Toltec wisdom on human relationships as well as techniques for integrating this awareness into daily life.

Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence


Anna Lembke - 2021
    It's also about pain. Most important, it's about how to find the delicate balance between the two, and why now more than ever finding balance is essential. We're living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting... The increased numbers, variety, and potency is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation. As such we've all become vulnerable to compulsive overconsumption.In Dopamine Nation, Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist and author, explores the exciting new scientific discoveries that explain why the relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain...and what to do about it. Condensing complex neuroscience into easy-to-understand metaphors, Lembke illustrates how finding contentment and connectedness means keeping dopamine in check. The lived experiences of her patients are the gripping fabric of her narrative. Their riveting stories of suffering and redemption give us all hope for managing our consumption and transforming our lives. In essence, Dopamine Nation shows that the secret to finding balance is combining the science of desire with the wisdom of recovery."Brilliant... riveting, scary, cogent, and cleverly argued."--Beth Macy, author of DopesickINSTANT NEW YORK TIMES and LOS ANGELES TIMES BESTSELLER“Brilliant… riveting, scary, cogent, and cleverly argued.”—Beth Macy, author of DopesickAs heard on Fresh Air

Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death


Irvin D. Yalom - 2008
    In this magisterial opus, capping a lifetime of work and personal experience, Dr. Yalom helps us recognize that the fear of death is at the heart of much of our anxiety. Such recognition is often catalyzed by an "awakening experience"--a dream, or loss (the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job or home), illness, trauma, or aging. Once we confront our own mortality, Dr. Yalom writes, we are inspired to rearrange our priorities, communicate more deeply with those we love, appreciate more keenly the beauty of life, and increase our willingness to take the risks necessary for personal fulfillment.

Failosophy: A Handbook For When Things Go Wrong


Elizabeth Day - 2020
    Failure just is2. You are not your worst thoughts.3. Almost everyone feels they’ve failed at their 20s.4. Break-ups are not a tragedy5. Failure is data acquisition6. There is no such thing as a future you7. Being open about your vulnerabilities is the ultimate act of strengthPractical, inspirational and with carefully selected quotes from the podcast guests, who have insights into everything from failed exams, romantic break-ups and how to cope with severe anxiety, Failosophy is the essential guide for turning our failures into our successes, and the equivalent of having a chat with a good friend who wants to make you feel better.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things From Taking Over Your Life


Richard Carlson - 1997
    and it's all small stuff is a book that shows you how to keep from letting the little things in life drive you crazy. In thoughtful and insightful language, author Richard Carlson reveals ways to calm down in the midst of your incredibly hurried, stress-filled life. You can learn to put things in perspective by making the small daily changes he suggests,including advice such as "Think of your problems as potential teachers"; "Remember that when you die, your 'In' box won't be empty"; and "Do one thing at a time." You should also try to live in the present moment, let others have the glory at times, and lower your tolerance to stress. You can write down your most stubborn positions and see if you can soften them, learn to trust your intuitions, and live each day as if it might be your last. With gentle, supportive suggestions, Dr.Carlson reveals ways to make your actions more peaceful and caring, with the added benefit of making your life more calm and stress-free.

Improve Your Social Skills


Daniel Wendler - 2014
    Improve Your Social Skills is here to help.Improve Your Social Skills is a comprehensive guide to social skills. It explains topics like conversation and body language in practical, easy-to-apply lessons. Think of it like an owner's manual for your social life.I wrote it to share the discoveries that helped me overcome to social challenges of Asperger's Syndrome. See, when I was growing up I was the most awkward kid you could ever hope to meet. But one day, I decided to study social skills deliberately, like you might study a foreign language. I looked for patterns that might explain the way people behaved, techniques I could use to connect with others, and metaphors I could use to make sense of it all. I poured thousands of hours into study, observation, and practice.And it paid off. I learned how to connect with others, and started filling my life with incredible friendships. I still make the occasional mistake, of course. But now I have the confidence to shrug off awkward moments without getting anxious.I cracked the code, in other words. And I wrote Improve Your Social Skills to teach you everything that I learned.Inside, you'll learn how to.... Make Conversation (and keep conversation flowing smoothly!) Read Body Language (and send positive signals with your own body language!) Meet New People (and make friends with them!) Tell Stories In Conversation (that don't bore your audience!) Combat Shyness And Social Anxiety (A little courage every day adds up!) Date Successfully (without manipulation or sneaky tricks!) And More! (seriously -- this book is 222 pages!) Ok, enough with the bullet points.I'm Dan Wendler, and I wrote the book. I wrote it because I know what it's like to feel awkward and alone, and I don't want anyone to feel that way if I can help it.Improve Your Social Skills contains everything I learned over the past 10 years. The advice in this book has literally changed my life, and transformed me from a lonely kid sitting alone in the cafeteria to a confident man surrounded by dear friends.Give it a chance, and it might just change your life too.

Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free


Stephanie Sarkis - 2018
     He's the charmer -- the witty, confident, but overly controlling date. She's the woman on your team who always manages to take credit for your good work. He's the neighbor who swears you've been putting your garbage into his trash cans, the politician who can never admit to a mistake. Gaslighters are master controllers and manipulators, often challenging your very sense of reality. Whether it's a spouse, parent, coworker, or friend, gaslighters distort the truth -- by lying, withholding, triangulation, and more -- making their victims question their own reality and sanity. Dr. Stephanie Sarkis delves into this hidden manipulation technique, covering gaslighting in every life scenario, sharing:Why gaslighters seem so "normal" at firstWarning signs and examplesGaslighter "red flags" on a first datePractical strategies for copingHow to coparent with a gaslighterHow to protect yourself from a gaslighter at workHow to walk away and rebuild your lifeWith clear-eyed wisdom and empathy, Dr. Sarkis not only helps you determine if you are being victimized by a gaslighter -- she gives you the tools to break free and heal.