Book picks similar to
Welcome to the Rollercoaster by D.D. Foster


foster-care
foster-adoption
foster-care-adoption
non-fiction

Shattered Bonds: The Color of Child Welfare


Dorothy Roberts - 2002
    foster care system and its effects on black communities and the country as a whole. Tying the origins and impact of this disparity to racial injustice, Dorothy Roberts contends that child-welfare policy reflects a political choice to address startling rates of black child poverty by punishing parents instead of tackling poverty's societal roots. Using conversations with mothers battling the Chicago child-welfare system for custody of their children, along with national data, Roberts levels a powerful indictment of racial disparities in foster care and tells a moving story of the women and children who earn our respect in their fight to keep their families intact.

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World


Marguerite A. Wright - 1998
    Parents and educators alike have long struggled to understand what meanings race might have for the very young, and for ways to insure that every child grows up with a healthy sense of self. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummate clarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensable guide that will doubtless prove a classic. --Edward Zigler, sterling professor of psychology and director, Yale Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy A child's concept of race is quite different from that of an adult. Young children perceive skin color as magical--even changeable--and unlike adults, are incapable of understanding adult predjudices surrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they likewise come to understand race in a series of predictable stages. Based on Marguerite A. Wright's research and clinical experience, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindness of early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order to guide the positive development of a child's self-esteem. Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and race including: * What do children know and understand about the color of their skin? * When do children understand the concept of race? * Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affected by racial prejudice? * How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negative perceptions and prejudices? * What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome the racism they are likely to encounter? * How can schools lessen the impact of racism? With wisdom and compassion, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla spells out how to educate black and biracial children about race, while preserving their innate resilience and optimism--the birthright of all children.

In on It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know about Adoption: A Guide for Relatives and Friends


Elisabeth O'Toole - 2010
    One adoption professional called 'In On It' "the adoption book for everyone else"--the many individuals who are not adoptive parents themselves but seek information and insights into adoption in order to best show their love and support, positively interact with or provide services to adoptive families.

How Much Is Enough?: Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Ch


Jean Illsley Clarke - 2003
    But despite one's good intentions, the life-enhancing abundance heaped on our children often becomes more than they need or can handle, and the line is crossed into overindulgence. In How Much is Enough?, best-selling parenting and family experts Clarke, Dawson, and Bredehoft offer an in-depth look at how damaging overindulgence is to children, affecting their ability to learn many of the important life skills they need to thrive as adults. In warm and empathetic language, the authors reveal the three different ways children are overindulged (giving too much, being over-nurturing, and providing soft structure), guide parents in determining whether they're doing something overindulgent, and show them how to do things differently. The truth is that overindulgence is not the badge of a bad parent; in fact, it comes directly from having a good and generous heart. Based on solid, groundbreaking research involving 1,200 parents and their children, How Much is Enough? gives parents the insight and advice they need to parent in an effective and loving way and put their children on track for a happy and successful life.

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships


Gary Chapman - 2006
    By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies.You'll learn the five languages of apology:* Expressing regret* Accepting responsibility* Making restitution* Genuinely repenting* Requesting forgiveness

A Chance in the World: An Orphan Boy, a Mysterious Past, and How He Found a Place Called Home


Steve Pemberton - 2012
    No one in the system can help him. No one can tell him if he has a family. No one can tell him why, with obvious African-American features, he has the last name of Klakowicz.Along the way, a single faint light comes only from a neighbor’s small acts of kindness and caring—and a box of books. From one of those books he learns that he has to fight in any way he can—for victory is in the battle. His victory is to excel in school.Against all odds, the author succeeded. He attended college, graduated, became a successful corporate executive, and married a wonderful woman with whom he established a loving family of his own. Through it, he dug voraciously through records and files and found his history, his birth family—and the ultimate disappointment as some family members embrace him, but others reject him.Readers won’t be the same after reading this powerful story. They will share in the hurts and despair but also in the triumph against daunting obstacles. They will share this story with their family, with their friends, with their neighbors.

Stranger Care


Sarah Sentilles - 2021
    Despite knowing that the system's goal is reunification with the birth family, Sarah opens their home to a flurry of social workers who question, evaluate, and ultimately prepare them to welcome a child into their family--even if it means most likely having to give them back. After years of starts and stops, and endless navigation of the complexities and injustices of the foster care system, a phone call finally comes: a three-day old baby girl, named Coco, in immediate need of a foster family. Sarah and Eric bring this newborn stranger home. "You were never ours," Sarah tells Coco, "yet we belong to each other." A love letter to Coco, and to the countless children like her, Stranger Care chronicles Sarah's discovery of what it means to mother--in this case, not just a vulnerable infant, but the birth mother who loves her, too. Ultimately, Coco's story reminds us that we depend on family, and that family can take different forms. With "fearless, stirring, rhythmic" (Nick Flynn) prose, Sentilles lays bare an intimate, powerful story, with universal concerns: How can we care for and protect each other? How do we ensure a more hopeful future for life on this planet? And if we're all related--tree, bird, star, person--how might we better live?

Fierce Love: Creating a Love that Lasts—One Conversation at a Time


Susan Scott - 2022
    This can lead to fighting, resentment, or, worse, complacency--where you are just going through the motions, more like roommates than two people in love. As Susan writes, "It's as if we've pulled off our own wings." As couples, we don't stop to think how important our conversations are. And we certainly don't understand that what we talk about and how we talk about it determine whether our relationships will thrive, flatline, or fail.In Fierce Love, New York Times bestselling author Susan Scott guides couples through eight must-have conversations that lead to deep connection and lasting commitment. Through the use of true stories and hands-on exercises, Susan helps usunderstand that the conversation is the relationship;identify and dispel five relationship myths that mislead and derail us;learn eight conversations that are critical to enriching relationships; andstop fighting or ignoring issues and start connecting in a deep and meaningful way.After a season where many relationships were tested and tried, where some relationships thrived and others have exposed cracks couples didn't even realize were there, or realized but didn't acknowledge, now is the best time to learn to communicate well. By having honest, compelling conversations with our partners, we can foster true connection and a fierce love that will withstand the test of time and grow stronger over the years.

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss


Hope Edelman - 1994
    First published a decade ago, it is still the book that motherless daughters of all ages look to for understanding and comfort and that they press into each other's hands. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, this life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss; now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships. A work of stunning courage and honesty, Motherless Daughters is a must read for the millions of women whose mothers have gone, but whose need for healing, mourning, and mothering remains. It is a timeless classic.

It's Okay About It: Lessons from a Remarkable Five-Year-Old About Living Life Wide Open


Lauren Casper - 2017
    Those are lessons he shares, often unknowingly, with his mom, Lauren Casper.For Lauren, living with Mareto is a lot like playing the telephone game. He blurts out little phrases that have their origin in something he saw or heard, but by the time they make their way through his mind and back out of his mouth, they’ve transformed—often into beautiful truths about living a simple, authentic, love- and joy-filled life.From “it’s okay about it,” a simple reminder that even when life is painful or difficult, things will be okay because God promises never to leave or forsake his children, to “you’re making me feelings,” which teaches the importance of leaning into one’s emotions and, in doing so, sharing a piece of oneself with loved ones—Mareto’s simple yet profound wisdom is a reminder to embrace the broken beauty of life, to believe in a God bigger than human comprehension, and to love others even when it doesn’t make sense.For all those looking to recapture the faith, simplicity, wonder, hope, courage, and joy of life, It’s Okay About It provides a guide to look inward and live outward, to discover the most wide open and beautiful life possible.

Hello, I Love You: Adventures in Adoptive Fatherhood


Ted Kluck - 2010
    Repeatedly. In this humorous and honest memoir, Ted Kluck—father, writer, and sports fan—details his adoption of his two sons from Ukraine. While not always self-flattering, his complaints and struggles will provoke laughter, some fear, and self-examination.In the first part of his memoir, Ted reveals the chaos the Kluck’s first international adoption, the adoption of his son Tristan. He includes stories of:Loads of paperwork, inspections, and prayer in the United StatesTraveling to Ukraine with tens of thousands of dollars in cash tucked in his beltUnexpected waitsConsuming uncountable numbers of Snickers bars and sodaSickness while still in UkraineLetters written to his soon-to-be sonGod’s unending faithfulness and reflections on His adoption of believersIn the second part of his memoir—the story of Kluck’s second international adoption—new struggles arise, causing Ted to process with his readers:Infertility—in a church full of pregnant women and large familiesStruggling in silenceTravel, againMissing the comfort of the United StatesA small amount of electrocution—the result of foreign electrical engineeringSpiritual depression and struggle to provide for his familyComplaint and trusting that God’s provision is sufficientThe blessing of the body of ChristIn each section of Ted’s memoir, you will feel deeply, laugh out loud, and learn. Whether you’re an adoptive parent, seeking to be an adoptive parent, or unmarried, you will enjoy and appreciate Ted’s humorous and honest stories of his adventures in adoptive fatherhood.“While Hello, I Love You is about the stories of two adoptions,in reality, the stories serve to show the trustworthiness of God despite impossible circumstances and the need to find contentment in his providential care.”-Book review by John Starke on The Gospel Coalition An Excerpt from the Book’s Introduction:            This book began as a journal—some spiral-bound notebooks that came with me to Ukraine the first time, and which contained letters that I wrote to Tristan during the experience. In the first half of the book, it reads like I’m addressing Tristan directly, while the second half is a more straightforward narrative of Dima’s adoption. They’re both love letters to my boys, and the whole thing is a love letter to Kristin, my wife.            You’ll also notice lots of frank, often sarcastic prose about cultural differences—usually with the author as the punch line, as it was my inability to deal with these differences that provided a lot of humor (in retrospect) and anger (at the time).            There’s also some tough content regarding infertility. If this is something you’ve struggled with in your marriage, I hope this chapter encourages you, and I hope you feel less alone in your struggle. If you’ve been blessed with biological children, please don’t feel guilty for having them, or in any way judged or made fun of by the observations in that chapter (see also: It not being you, but me).            Finally, the book contains lots of stories of God’s faithfulness—stories that we thought were too meaningful not to be told. Little “piles of stones” along the way that remind us of God’s goodness, love, and faithfulness. We hope that you’ll read them and not only be entertained, but be motivated to think of Christ and our adoption as His sons and daughters. It is only the love of Christ, and our hope in Him, that got us through the first, the most difficult adoption in the history of our agency’s work with Ukraine, then infertility, and finally a second adoption. And it was these adoptions, more than any other events or events in our lives, that truly taught us to find our peace, comfort, and identity in Christ.

20 Things We'd Tell Our Twentysomething Selves


Kelli Worrall - 2015
    Life is now, and how you spend these years will shape your future for better or worse.In 20 Things We’d Tell Our Twentysomething Selves, professors Peter and Kelli Worrall help you spend them well. They look back on the good, bad, and miserable to share the best of what they’ve learned, like why you should:Dig deeper than your doubtFoster good habitsTake risksAdjust your expectationsPress into painand moreWith warm, brilliant storytelling, the Worralls invite you into their life and home. They share about faith, marriage, drawn-out adoptions, dark nights of the soul, and the God who’s in it all. Wise, humble, caring, fun, they’re the kind of mentors everyone wants but few have. And now they're yours.20 Things is more than good advice; it’s a book that can change your life. Let the trend of your twenties be sowing wisdom, and who knows what the rest of life will bring?Includes action steps, discussion questions, and ideas for further reading at the end of each chapter.

A General Theory of Love


Thomas Lewis - 2000
    Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain.A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage


Kay Bratt - 2008
    As a volunteer at a local orphanage, Bratt witnessed conditions that were unfathomable to a middle-class mother of two from South Carolina.Based on Bratt's diary of her four years at the orphanage, Silent Tears offers a searing account of young lives rendered disposable. In the face of an implacable system, Bratt found ways to work within (and around) the rules to make a better future for the children, whom she came to love. The book offers no easy answers. While often painful in its clear-sightedness, Silent Tears balances the sadness and struggles of life in the orphanage with moments of joy, optimism, faith, and victory. It is the story of hundreds of children and of one woman who never planned on becoming a hero but became one anyway.

The Girl Behind the Door: A Father's Journey Into the Mystery of Attachment


John Brooks - 2014
    He travels back to her abandonment at birth and adoption from a Polish orphanage at fourteen months, through her happy childhood and her turbulent adolescence, searching for answers. In most respects, Casey was a perfectly normal girl – beautiful, smart and popular, accepted at an elite college. But she also had troubling behaviors that no one understood, including mental health professionals. His search leads to a condition known as attachment disorder, an affliction common among children who have been abandoned, neglected or abused.It explained everything.