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Office Wars: The Mailroom Clerk
James G. Patton - 2017
He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar. While that was bad, he started to question whether Odditek was still in control, or had their complacency created the noose tightening around their neck. Bran was not yet aware of the choice before him. He could no longer stand back and watch, and he had to pick a side and fight before he lost the ability to choose. Would he recognize the inevitable in time? Was it possible to make a ‘correct’ choice, or had the lines blurred so much that hero and villain were indistinguishable? This novel is part of an Odditek series and is a LitRPG novel. I realize it’s the first Odditek series, but more are coming. This series started as a companion series to a book called Lantern Online. I wanted a way to build up the world as it now exists, and to explain what Odditek is. Neuroma and Nerves are mentioned in Lantern Online, and I felt all that information was taking away from my story and is mostly not relevant, but good to know information. I took a lot of it out and added it to this series. Anyway, out of that came Office Wars. I hope it's different than most LitRPG you will read, and brings another dimension to the genre. Explicit language! I will not lie, there is a satirical nature to this story, and a lot of the language and scenarios are morally questionable on purpose. In this story and I use a lot of curse words and controversial commentary. Just look on Facebook or any half a dozen social media sites, and you will see similar language, conversations, and other nonsense. If we all moved into a digital world, this is how I view that world.
The Ugly Side of Me
Nikita Lynnette Nichols - 2015
It was lust at first sight, and Rhapsody isn't going to let young Malcolm leave her presence without a promise to fulfill her fantasy.Malcolm had no idea when he accepted Rhapsody's invitation to her bedroom that he was selling his soul to the devil. Malcolm thinks he can bed Rhapsody and simply walk away, but she is not one to settle for a one night stand. Rhapsody goes to desperate measures to keep her cub extremely close to her. Gifting Malcolm a very expensive SUV, filling his belly with home cooked meals and funding a trip to Cancun are just a few of the tactics that Rhapsody uses to ensure that Malcolm spends his nights in her bed and no one else's. However, when Rhapsody finds a mysterious package on her doorstep containing proof of Malcolm's betrayal and deception, she seeks revenge and seals her own fate.
I Fish; Therefore, I Am: And Other Observations; Three Bestselling Works Complete in One Volume; A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?
Patrick F. McManus - 1995
Containing over 80 slice-of-life stories by a bestselling outdoor humorist, this collection brings together for the first time three works by McManus: A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, and They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?.
Real Men Don't Rehearse
Justin Locke - 2005
It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!
Hot Cripple: An Incurable Smart-ass Takes on the Health Care System and Lives to Tell the Tal e
Hogan Gorman - 2012
And she got one-coming at her at forty miles per hour. Hit by a car and suffering debilitating injuries, and with no health insurance, the fashionista attempts to bounce back into her (thrift store-purchased) Jimmy Choos even as she deals with short-term memory loss, stalker ambulance drivers, trying to stay vegan on food stamps, crazy judges, hot doctors, and unsympathetic government workers.Inspired by her acclaimed one-woman show, this is a bitingly funny and keenly observed account of the cracks in our medical and social welfare system and how one woman's resilience combined with a generous dollop of humor helped her fight her way to recovery.
The Tent Dwellers
Albert Bigelow Paine - 1908
Paine wrote fiction, humor, verse and edited several magazines, but his outstanding work was a three-volume biography of Mark Twain, with whom he lived and traveled for four years. His travel books, all widely circulated, included The Car That Went Abroad; The Ship Dwellers; and this volume, The Tent Dwellers. In the Tent Dwellers, Paine describes the fishing/canoeing expedition on the waterways in southwest Nova Scotia, Canada, he made with his friend Eddie and their guides in 1908. See other titles by this author available from Kessinger Publishing. Due to the age and scarcity of the original we reproduced, some pages may be spotty, faded or difficult to read.
It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp: Life, Love & Living Large
Jim Lewis - 2008
He's a lothario, a linguist, and a specialist at looking on the bright side of life-- especially when it means twisting or turning a situation so it works in his favor! In this book, he will teach you how to do the same for yourself. He offers a plethora of thorough advice on parties, relationships, careers, love, friendship, and life in general-- there is something in here for everyone! Pepe's thoughts on friendship? "Love comes and goes .but friendship is forever, or at least until they run out of money and places to take you. Building lifelong relationships with people who aren't related to you or attractive to you is a strange habit, but one that's hard to shake. Here's how I deal with it..." Laugh-out-loud funny and in his authentic, Spanish-accented voice, Pepe's musings and guidance will delight readers of all ages with this fantastic comic relief! Served up with hot, fresh, and filled with wit, pith and a dash of salsa this is Pepe's guide to life, love and living large! From family to friendship to romance and everything is between, Pepe's words of wisdom are served up in fun and witty quotes and advice told with his signature brand of humor.
Archyology : The Long Lost Tales of Archy and Mehitabel
Don Marquis - 1996
B. White in his essay on Don Marquis and his famous creations, and the undimmed enthusiasm of several generations of fans -- who every year buy thousands of copies of Marquis' earlier collections -- testifies to their appeal. A whimsical and sophisticated sage, archy the cockroach entertained readers with iconoclastic observations on pretensions, politics, and our place in the cosmos during Marquis' career as a New York newspaper columnist in the 1920s and 30s.Allegedly tapping out stories at night by leaping from key to key on Marquis' typewriter, archy couldn't quite manage the shift key for capital letters. Although his tales appeared in lower case, his views achieved a level grand enough to solidify Marquis' reputation as an American humorist in the tradition of Mark Twain, Joel Chandler Harris, and Ring Lardner. archyology brings together selected "lost" tales that were literally rescued from oblivion by Jeff Adams, who found them among papers stored in a steamer trunk since Marquis' death.And so archy emerges from his long silence. Whether reporting on characters like emmet the ghost, sailing to Paris to visit the insects of Europe, being trapped for days in a New York subway train, or hanging out in a Long Island orchard enjoying fermented cherries, archy is always both provocative and inimitable. With illustrations by Ed Frascino, a New Yorker regular, this collection reintroduces a delightful cast of characters who reconfirm archy's view of the world: "the only way to live with it is to laugh at it.
The Grrl Genius Guide to Sex (with Other People): A Self-Help Novel
Cathryn Michon - 2004
Armed with the information from Cathryn's Wild Sexual Animal Kingdom research and her "Love is Important but Chocolate is Essential" Chocolate Fun Facts, her posse of Grrl Geniuses struggle with singlehood, married life, sexual preferences, widowhood, and friendship. Cathryn's journey veers from a "nails-on-chalkboard-scratchingly-awful" divorce and the botched kidnapping of her own dog, to pretending to be a lesbian, seeing her old lingerie sold on her old front lawn by her ex-husband's girlfriend, losing her job, and a tragic industrial accident-level bikini wax. And through everything, Cathryn searches for the answer to the most important relationship question of all: why are all the best men gay?If you've ever been tempted to have sex with another person, this is an essential read. If you've ever felt inadequate to a task or a failure at love or in any way anything less than a genius and you've sunk so low that even a new pair of cute shoes won't help, Cathryn Michon can show you the way to relationship happiness-all you have to do is learn from her very funny mistakes. However badly you think you've done anything, Cathryn has done it even worse, and reveals lessons learned in the wryly witty and devastatingly honest style that has made her the favorite of aspiring geniuses everywhere!
Past the Headlands
Garry Disher - 2001
The fall of Malaya and Singapore and the bombing of Darwin—what looked like the invasion of Australia—ebb and crash over a man’s long search to find a home and a woman’s determination to keep hers, connected by old memories and new betrayals. It is a thriller and a romance, a story of earth and water, air and metal—an unforgettable ride through the most precarious time in our region's recent history. Garry Disher writes: ‘Past the Headlands came from the same World War 2 research as The Stencil Man. I was struck by the power of two documents. The first was a letter written by a woman alone on a cattle station near Broome in 1942, at the time the Japanese were overrunning Malaya and Singapore and bombing areas of northern Australia. One day she found herself giving shelter to Dutch colonial officers and their families, who were fleeing Sumatra and Java ahead of the Japanese advance (many people like them lost their lives when Japanese planes shot up their waiting seaplanes in Broome Harbour in March, 1942). This woman stuck in my head (the isolation, the danger, the efforts to communicate, her bravery, etc). The second document was a war diary written by an Australian army surgeon who escaped Singapore ahead of the Japanese and was stuck in Sumatra, trying to get out. Here he treated many of the civilians (and Australian Army deserters) fleeing from Singapore. He was captured by the Japanese, but survived the war. But his last few diary entries detail how he and a mate were waiting for a plane or a ship to take them out, then one day he wrote, “Davis [his mate] left last night without telling me”. So much for mateship. I spent years trying to find my way into their stories. At one stage I spent a year writing 40,000 words before realising it wouldn’t work. I put it aside, then realised one subplot didn’t belong, so extracted it and turned it into a separate novel The Divine Wind, which has sold 100,000 copies around the world, won a major award and been published as both a young adult and a general market novel. But cutting it out like that freed me up to write about the woman and the man betrayed by his mate, in Past the Headlands.’
Why Me? The Very Important Emails of Bob Servant
Neil Forsyth - 2011
The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.
Thank You for Being a Friend: Life According to the Golden Girls
Emma Lewis - 2017
More than thirty years after it first aired, The Golden Girls retains a steadily growing cult following. The show ran for seven seasons (collecting a staggering fifty-eight Emmy nominations and eleven wins along the way), and over the years, this hit comedy about four fierce and sassy broads sharing a house in Miami charmed millions of viewers with its wit and verve and, most of all, the strength and quality of the friendship between its four iconic characters. Featuring fun and colorful illustrations throughout, Thank You for Being a Friend brings you the ultimate wisdom of Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche. Find out which Girl is your true spirit animal with the -Which Golden Girl Are You?- quiz; get sex and dating advice from TV's greatest vamp, Blanche Devereaux; and master the art of the witty zinger with Dorothy. There are cheesecake recipes for the perfect midnight snack, Golden Girls bingo, profiles on each of the extraordinary actresses who brought these incredible characters to life, and the Ten Commandments of shared house living. Full of inspiration, fashion advice, makeup tips, trivia, and hilarious quotes direct from the lanai, Thank You for Being a Friend is here to help you discover the secrets to maintaining the lifelong bonds between friends who are more like family.
Laugh With Laxman
R.K. Laxman - 2000
It is here that Laxman's sense of parodyand satire find some of their finest expressions. A selection of these rare and masterly cartoons which comment caustically on our social and political character were togethter in the first volume of "laugh with Laxman", and proved to be immensly popular. This is the second volume in the series replete with timeless gems that continue to amuse.
The Aggretsuko Guide to Office Life
Sanrio - 2018
Aggretsuko is all the RAGE. Sanrio's newest character is a 25-year-old red panda with her own Netflix show, and a stressful work life that's all too relatable. Featuring art from the popular videos and Sanrio products combined with sidebars and prescriptive tips and advice for handling tricky workplace situations, this is a humorous and gifty book. - The first character Sanrio created specifically for adults, Aggretsuko is both a cute, endearing red panda just going about her life, and the fed up office worker who's tired of being pushed around. - In this helpful handbook, Aggretsuko offers tips on how to deal with annual holiday parties, avoid colleagues after hours, circumvent oversharing coworkers, and most importantly–how to RAGE (preferably in heavy-metal karaoke sessions). - A must-have for anyone who needs help staying sane from 9 to 5.Fans of Aggretuko Reversible Journal will love The Aggretsuko Guide To Office LifeThis book is perfect for: - Women 18-34 - Millennials - Sanrio fans - Comic fans - Internet comic enthusiasts - Animal lovers - Fans of Japanese pop culture ©'18 SANRIO CO., LTD. Used Under License.
Bad Blood: A Family Murder in Marin County
Richard M. Levine - 1982
Their killers were the Olives’ 16-year-old daughter and her 20-year-old lover.This is the story of that shocking murder and the appalling events that led up to it. It is the story of the middle-class dream turned into a nightmare, of parents and children living in mutually alien and hostile worlds, and of a youth culture for which promiscuous sex and every kind of drug are no longer enough.It is a story that cuts to the bone of American life – and strikes inescapably close to home.