'I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE,' by Tom Reynolds This roundup of 52 of the most maudlin songs ever penned, from Manilow to Metallica, will move you to tears of despair — or shrieks of helpless laughter. PLAYBOY - "There must be a section of Tom Reynolds's record collection that wards off disc jockeys like a cross repels vampires. The writer/TV producer's steep descent into depressing pop music, I Hate Myself and Want to Die is a humorous song-by-song analysis of the most egregious examples of audio torture. Its title may sound like a hackneyed VH1 special, but Reynolds steps above pointless banter by demonstrating some serious scholarship, exposing gut-wrenching stories behind these songs like the telling fact that the writers of "Without You," covered by Mariah Carey, both hung themselves....Overall, his picks are solid and stick to chart-topping tragedies, ranging from the Billie Holiday lynching tune "Strange Fruit" ("Black bodies swinging in the Southern breeze") to a prescient analysis of Johnny Cash's superior cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt." Reynolds also manages to sneak in some unknown misfires, like his number one pick "The Christmas Shoes," a Christian adult contemporary Christmas song (already depressing) about poor kids buying slippers for their terminally ill mom to wear in heaven (kill me already). NEW MUSIC EXPRESS - "Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery." WHAT'S ON IN LONDON - "A sustained and superbly observed insight into some of rock music's most memorable follies, it is an absolute must-read. Brilliant." UNCUT Magazine - "Tom Reynolds, an American TV producer who manages to combine the wit of Dave Barry with the musical tastes of a bath towel, takes a simple concept and pulls great big inappropriate belly laughs from it....Genius." Anne Stephenson, THE REPUBLIC - "To write a book like this, you need a working knowledge of music recorded over the past 70 years and an astute and merciless sense of humor. Tom Reynolds is our man.". Rob Lester, EDGE MAGAZINE - "What makes this book so worthwhile and more than just cathartic (oh, it is that!) is the humor. Reynolds’ language is colorful and clever and his greatest skills are sarcasm and funny, funny exaggeration for effect... Smug? Absolutely. But it’s mostly a hoot." PUCKNATION - "I Hate Myself and Want to Die, is one of the most brilliant looks at music and popular culture I've read in a long time. This collection of essays rips through music with ludicrous comments, humor and sarcasm. Reynolds’ knack for timing and wit allows him to tear seemlessly through these songs, with great results....An instant classic and perfect bathroom reading." ROCKNWORLD - "Don'tcha just love discovering a book that is too funny to be read in public, that makes eating or drinking while reading it a sure way to choke & die? What makes the subject matter of this book even better is its importance & truth.....His treatments of Evanescence's entry on the list & Metallica are so funny that I wish I could quote the entire chapters here."

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    Now I don't want to seem callous, but to me that's not a tragedy - that's natural selection.'In SURVIVAL OF THE DUMBEST, Wil Anderson turns his sharp gaze and wicked wit to the stupid, strange and perplexing quandaries of popular culture. Wil spares no-one, not even himself, as he delivers an almighty forehead slap to the modern world. And let's face it: between TV, politics, oversexed sports stars, advertising and automatic phone-banking systems - there are a lot of foreheads that need one.Wil Anderson caused cornflake snorting incidents as a breakfast announcer on Triple J, hosts ABC TV's ever-popular The Glass House and continues to thrill audiences at just about every comedy festival known to man. Now Wil has set down some of his funniest rants and observations in this book. Let's just hope there are enough people left who can read…

    Here, he explains how you can effortlessly hold your own against the most highbrow members of society, so that never again will you confuse 'consomme' with 'coulis', or 'entree' with 'entrecote'."

    How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and amusing illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

    In fact, that's exactly why we're handing you Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets—a totally effective, foolproof guide to starting and sustaining conversations on every topic under the sun. Want to wax wise about barbarians, socialist theory, and jazz musicians? What about Keynesian economics, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and James Joyce's Ulysses? Well, it's all right here in front of you.We've jam-packed this book with jaw-dropping facts and hysterical anecdotes that are sure to please. So go ahead and stock up for your next soiree. We're not guaranteeing it will make you the most knowledgeable person in the room . . . just the most interesting.

    Eponymous, adj. Giving one's name to a person, place, or thing.Anonymous, adj. Anonymous.Anonyponymous, adj. Anonymous and eponymous.The Earl of Sandwich, fond of salted beef and paired slices of toast, found a novel way to eat them all together. Etienne de Silhouette, a former French finance minister, was so notoriously cheap that his name became a byword for chintzy practices—such as substituting a darkened outline for a proper painted portrait. Both bequeathed their names to the language, but neither man is remembered.In this clever and funny book, John Bemelmans Marciano illuminates the lives of these anonyponymous persons. A kind of encyclopedia of linguistic biographies, the book is arranged alphabetically, giving the stories of everyone from Abu "algorithm" Al-Khwarizmi to Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Along with them you'll find the likes of Harry Shrapnel, Joseph-Ignace Guillotine, and many other people whose vernacular legacies have long outlived their memory.Accented by amusing line portraits and short etymological essays on subjects like "superhero eponyms," Anonyponymous is both a compendium of trivia and a window into the fascinating world of etymology. Carefully curated and unfailingly witty, this book is both a fantastic gift for language lovers and a true pleasure to read.

    The man admitted he had attempted to siphon gas from a motor home but inadvertently put the siphon tube in the wrong tank. Instead of gasoline, the man sucked out the contents of the sewage holding tank. If stupidity were lethal, all of the criminals highlighted in The Stupid Crook Book would be dead. This book from highly successful author Leland H. Gregory III captures hilarious tales of captured criminals who are so dumb you almost feel sorry for them. Almost. This lineup of criminal bozos includes: * Michael Anthony Silver, who made a $250 call to a 1-900 psychic hotline in the course of robbing a home. When the phone bill came later that month the homeowners called the police, who traced the call back to the hotline. It turns out Silver used his real name with the psychic.* A would-be bank robber who fainted when a bank teller told him she had no money. The police later found his getaway car and discovered the key locked inside it.* Tony Bariteau, who was arrested and pled guilty to breaking into the Deja Vu store in Troy, Alabama-twice! He was arrested because the same witness spotted him smashing the same window and stealing much of the same merchandise. Deja vu indeed.* A wanted fugitive from Maryland who was running low on cash and stopped by a police station in Texas to ask for gas money. The police saved him the expense and gave him a free ride back to prison.The Stupid Crook Book builds on the successful trail Gregory blazed with America's Dumbest Criminals, the book he coauthored that spent 17 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list.Author's web site: www.realwacky.com/

     Did you know that people in Bolivia have a word that means "I was rather too drunk last night and it's all their fault"? That there's no Italian equivalent for the word "blue"? That the Dutch word for skimming stones is "plimpplamppletteren"? This delightful book, which draws on the collective wisdom of more than 254 languages, includes not only those words for which there is no direct counterpart in English ("pana po'o" in Hawaiian means to scratch your head in order to remember something important), but also a frank discussion of exactly how many Eskimo words there are for snow and the longest known palindrome in any language ("saippuakivikauppias"--Finland). And all right, what in fact is "tingo"? In the Pascuense language of Easter Island, it's to take all the objects one desires from the house of a friend, one at a time, by asking to borrow them. Well, of course it is. Enhanced by its ingenious and irresistible little Schott's Miscellany/Eats Shoots and Leaves package and piquant black-and-white illustrations throughout, The Meaning of Tingo is a heady feast for word lovers of all persuasions. Viva Tingo!

    'German men sit down to pee' is a tongue-in-cheek guidebook to German culture that highlights the rules Germans consciously and unconsciously follow, while trying to make a little sense of it all along the way. Why, for example, mowing your lawn on a Sunday will mean getting an earful from your neighbour, but lie naked in the middle of a public park and nobody will bat an eyelid. Ideal for anyone visiting or moving to Germany, 'German Men Sit Down to Pee' offers a collection of insights into German culture while at the same time highlighting rules and cultural norms that those visiting Germany will not only find humorous but useful for avoiding any cultural faux-pas.

    This book can be cut, drawn in, folded into shapes and will even take you to the fourth dimension. So join stand-up mathematician Matt Parker on a journey through narcissistic numbers, optimal dating algorithms, at least two different kinds of infinity and more.

    Ask your parents. Ask someone you hardly know. THE BOOK OF QUESTIONS gives you permission to ask those things that are too bold, too embarrassing, or just too difficult to ask by yourself. You will find questions of integrity; of sex; of what you would do for money; even things too personal to talk about out loud.Whether you use it as a tool for self-discovery or as a provocative way to stimulate conversation, this book constantly challenges attitudes, orals, beliefs--and it challenges you.--back cover

    By 1996 another collection may appear." And he was rights. Frazier's new collection, Coyote v. Acme, includes twenty-two more side-splitting glimpses into some of the more oddball corners of the American mind. The title essay imagines the opening statement of an attorney for cartoon character Wile E. Coyote in a product liability suit against the Acme Company, supplier of unpredictable rocket sleds and faulty spring-powered shoes. Other essays are about the golfing career of comedian Bob Hope, a commencement address given by a Satanist college president, a suburban short story attacked by Germans, the problem of issues versus non-issues, and the theories of revolutionary stand-up comedy from Comrade Stalin.

    Talking Cock combines answers to questions about sexuality, circumcision, and strange behavior with a deeply researched history, poignant true-life confessions, and insights from the hilarious to the downright obscene.

    Nancy? He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit...He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"...He's a stage actor who only travels while dressed as a stick of butter...He is, in reality, a twisted prankster—a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters to corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state. His innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands, and suggestions are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone—but often the deadpan responses he receives are even more hilarious: "Dear Mr. Nancy, It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag."  —The Paper Bag Council"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." —Greyhound Bus Lines"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." —Vice President Al GoreLetters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a wet-yourself-in-a-public place funny aggregation of official—and officially certifiable—requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were.