The World According to Clarkson


Jeremy Clarkson - 2004
    He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour.In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:Too much science is bad for our health'70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed ofHunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor cleverWe must work harder to get rid of cricketHe likes the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant.Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it.

Holy Frigging Matrimony


Emma Chase - 2013
    Steven went first. He was kind of our test subject. Like those monkeys that NASA sent off into space in the fifties, all the while knowing they’d never make it back.And now another poor rocket is ready to launch.But this isn’t just any posh New York wedding. You’ve seen my friends, you’ve met our families, you know you're in for a treat. Everyone wants their wedding to be memorable. This one’s going to be un-frigging-forgettable.Holy Frigging Matrimony takes place about a year after Tangled’s end and is from Drew’s POV.

Shimmer


Darynda Jones - 2013
    For more, the author released Glow, which is the same story but through the eyes of Reyes Farrow.

Ain't He Precious?


Juliette Poe - 2017
    It has one stoplight, one bar, and the one-and-only Trixie Mancinkus.Eleven years ago, Trixie graduated Harvard Law, turned down a job offer from one of the most prestigious law firms in Boston, and headed home to Whynot to open her own firm. Not only did she leave behind the big city, but she also left her boyfriend of three years. And just so we’re clear… that would be me.So what am I doing in Whynot at this very moment? It seems Trixie needs help with a legal case and for some insane reason, she called on me for assistance. I’ve been in town for five minutes, and I’m every bit as out of place as I feel. Trixie is all sweet, southern curves to my tailored suits and high-priced haircuts. It’s a culture clash of north versus south and about the only thing we have in common is our physical attraction to each other.But I have a new motto since coming to Whynot: When life hands you lemons, all you need is a little sex and sweet tea to make things better.

Honeymoon from Hell Part I


R.L. Mathewson - 2015
    Part #1 Jason and Haley’s honeymoon

How To Be Dead


Dave Turner - 2013
    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. How To Be Dead is the first part in a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

Until We Collide


Charlotte Fallowfield - 2016
    Fans of Bridget Jones will love this!" TotallyBooked BlogWhat do you get when you cross a neck brace, a jellyfish, and an encounter with a gorilla? Dating disasters only a quirky and fun woman could endure. With her thirtieth birthday fast-approaching, Paige Taylor knows she must get more than her toes wet in the dating pool. After all, she's spent way too long pining over Alec Wright, who's perpetually unavailable. Now, with some encouragement from her best friend, Paige is ready to take the plunge and find Mr. Right. But when a catalogue of catastrophic dates ensue, Paige questions what she's always wondered. Is Alec Wright her Mr. Right? An Amazon UK, and international, #1 bestselling contemporary romance, humour, and romantic comedy novel.

Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store


Benjamin Wallace - 2011
    That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can't quite master the intricacies of the potty. It isn't his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays. He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband - probably for a fear of what we might find - but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he's not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is. In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.NOTE: This title is also available as part of the Dumb White Husband collected edition, Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)

On the Decay of the Art of Lying


Mark Twain - 1882
    In the essay, Twain laments the dour ways in which men of America's Gilded Age employ man's "most faithfull friend." He concludes by insisting that: "the wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous mien, as being ashamed of our high calling."

A Beginner's Guide To Christmas


Jennifer Joyce - 2013
    But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations. Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids. Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.

A Fine and Pleasant Misery


Patrick F. McManus - 1978
    McManus.

The Fried Twinkie Manifesto: and other tales of disaster and damnation


Ryan Moehring - 2011
    While maintaining a voice unmistakably his own, Moehring evokes the wild imagination of Tom Robbins, the soul of Sedaris, and the wisdom of Vonnegut. Though readers will more often than not find themselves laughing out loud, Moehring's eye for the profound and his unyielding honesty ensure that they are just as likely to cry-or cringe.

Regarding Your Application Status


John Scalzi - 2018
    And we say “Can we join?” And they say, “Well, you can apply.” And this is what happens when we apply.

Mrs Funnybones


Twinkle Khanna - 2015
    and I am wide awake because the man of the house has decided that he needs to perform a series of complex manoeuvres that involve him balancing on his left elbow. When I fell asleep last night, there was a baby lying next to me. Her smelly diaper is still wedged on my head but aside from this rather damp clue, I can't seem to find her anywhere. I could ask my mother-in-law if she has seen the baby, but she may just tell me that I need to fast on alternate Mondays, and God will deliver the baby back to me . . . Full of wit and delicious observations, Mrs Funnybones captures the life of the modern Indian woman—a woman who organizes dinner each evening, even as she goes to work all day, who runs her own life but has to listen to her Mummyji, who worries about her weight and the state of the country. Based on Twinkle Khanna’s super-hit column, Mrs Funnybones marks the debut of one of our funniest, most original voices.

Penelope


Anya Wylde - 2013
    The dowager, no less, has invited her for a season in London, where she will attempt to catch a husband.Thus begins our heroine’s tale as she attempts to tackle the London season with all her rustic finesse. Unfortunately, her rustic finesse turns out to be as delicate as a fat bear trying to rip apart a honeycomb infested with buzzing bees.What follows is a series of misadventures, love affairs, moonlit balls, fancy clothes, fake moustaches, highwaymen, sneering beauties, pickpockets, and the wrath of a devilishly handsome duke.