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The Gallery of Regrettable Food: Highlights from Classic American Recipe Books
James Lileks - 2001
You'll find no tongue-tempting treats within -- unless, of course, you consider Boiled Cow Elbow with Plaid Sauce to be your idea of a tasty meal. No, The Gallery of Regrettable Food is a public service. Learn to identify these dishes. Learn to regard shivering liver molds with suspicion. Learn why curries are a Communist plot to undermine decent, honest American spices. Learn to heed the advice of stern, fictional nutritionists. If you see any of these dishes, please alert the authorities.Now, the good news: laboratory tests prove that The Gallery of Regrettable Food AMUSES as well as informs. Four out of five doctors recommend this book for its GENEROUS PORTIONS OF HILARITY and ghastly pictures from RETRO COOKBOOKS. You too will look at these products of post-war cuisine and ask: "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?" It's an affectionate look at the days when starch ruled, pepper was a dangerous spice, and Stuffed Meat with Meat Sauce was considered health food.Bon appetit!The Gallery of Regrettable Food is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes from the Golden Age of Salt and Starch. It's a wonder anyone in the 1940s, '50s, and '60s gained any weight. It isn't that the food was inedible; it was merely dull. Everything was geared toward a timid palate fearful of spice. It wasn't nonnutritious -- no, between the limp boiled vegetables, fat-choked meat cylinders, and pink whipped Jell-O desserts, you were bound to find a few calories that would drag you into the next day. It's just that the pictures are so hideously unappealing.Author James Lileks has made it his life's work to unearth the worst recipes and food photography from that bygone era and assemble them with hilarious, acerbic commentary: "This is not meat. This is something they scraped out of the air filter from the engines of the Exxon Valdez." It all started when he went home to Fargo and found an ancient recipe book in his mom's cupboard: Specialties of the House, from the North Dakota State Wheat Commission. He never looked back. Now, they're not really recipe books. They're ads for food companies, with every recipe using the company's products, often in unexpected and horrifying ways. There's not a single appetizing dish in the entire collection.The pictures in the book are ghastly -- the Italian dishes look like a surgeon had a sneezing fit during an operation, and the queasy casseroles look like something on which the janitor dumps sawdust. But you have to enjoy the spirit behind the books -- cheerful postwar perfect housewifery, and folks with the guts to undertake such culinary experiments as stuffing cabbage with hamburger, creating the perfect tongue mousse when you have the fellas over for a pregame nosh, or, best of all, baking peppers with a creamy marshmallow sauce. Alas, too many of these dishes bring back scary childhood memories.
F in Exams: The Best Test Paper Blunders
Richard Benson - 2008
Celebrating the creative side of failure in a way we can all relate to, F in Exams gathers the most hilarious and inventive test answers provided by students who, faced with a question they have no hope of getting right, decide to have a little fun instead. Whether in science (Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? A: Mariah Carey), the humanities (Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? A: Unusual names), math, or other subjects, these 250 entries prove that while everyone enjoys the spectacle of failure, it's even sweeter to see a FAIL turn into a WIN.
The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life
Geoff Tibballs - 2011
We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.
How to Date Men When You Hate Men
Blythe Roberson - 2019
You'll have a blast reading this and then date...or not date anyone because you are living your best single life with new best friend Roberson by your side." - Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of You Can't Touch My Hair
Bizarre History: Strange Happenings, Stupid Misconceptions, Distorted Facts and Uncommon Events
Joe Rhatigan - 2011
It's not about memorizing lists of dates or names, or remembering which general won what battle. Instead, BIZARRE HISTORY merrily digs up the scandals, the strangeness, and the scintillating details that illuminate personalities, events, and real life. Think of it not as a textbook, but as history’s juicy unauthorized biography--a historical document in which relevance never gets in the way of a good read. There are humorous quotes from famous figures such as Mark Twain and Napoleon ("History is a myth that men agree to believe"), as well as witty commentary about leaders of the past. After all, while you're probably familiar with William the Conquerer, have you heard of Charles the Simple, ruler of France and son of Louis the Stammerer? What about the emperor who entered Rome in a chariot drawn by 50 naked slaves—and invented the first whoopee cushion, too? But you can find lots of wildness closer to home: George Washington wrote love letters to a married woman; "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson had been in at least seven duels before becoming president; and Benjamin Franklin fathered an illegitimate child. Paranoia also plagued a few of our presidents: the only thing Franklin Roosevelt had to fear was the number 13: he wouldn't invite 13 guests to a dinner party or travel on the 13th. And both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan had encounters with UFOs! The fun facts span the globe, covering the crazy acts of Caligula in the Roman Empire; the "Dog Shogun" in 17th century Japan; the "Pork and Beans" war between the US and Canada; and even details about fashion, medicine, sports, and the real Dracula. It's a wild journey that no one could resist!
If You Loved Me You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You
Nick Galifianakis - 2010
Zach Galifianakis, start of The Hangover, will provide the foreword.Everyone knows the only thing more painful than relationships is not having them--or is it the other way around? Whatever, says author and cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. In his first book, If You Loved Me, You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You, he makes the case that either way, the only recourse is to embrace our frailties and laugh. Taken from Carolyn Hax's nationally syndicated advice column, this compilation spins the pain of dating, mothers-in-law, "beneficial" friends and more into ... the pain of self-recognition. The intricately drawn pen-and-ink panels and pointed captions explore some of life's most uncomfortable truths, exposing the humanity in our mistakes, the underbelly of our triumphs and the sheer heroism of trying and trying again.Throughout this character study of men and women (and the dogs who love them), Galifianakis mines our hopes and insecurities for a unifying truth: If we can't laugh at ourselves, he'll do it for us."Nick snuck me into my first comedy club when I was only a back-acned teenager. The back acne went away but the comedy stuck. I know that last sentence sounds like a lyric from a Joan Baez song, but trust me, it's original." --Zach Galifianakis, from the foreword"Nick's cartoons are funny, witty, and smart. But what makes them so special are how universal and true they are, making the laughs they bring all the more poignant. Relationships, in all their glory, have never been captured quite so succinctly and with such charm." --Amy B. Harris, writer/producer for Sex and the City"Nick Galifianakis understands relationships unbelievably well, for a guy. My guess is he actually menstruates." --Gene Weingarten, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Washington Post humor columnist
Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth
The Onion - 2007
It also features maps, including a fold-out world map at actual size. Readers will learn about every country from Afghanistan, "Allah's Cat Box," to the Ukraine, "The Bridebasket of Europe." Today's news-parody consumer cannot possibly understand made-up current events without the context of fake world history and geography. That is why The Onion is publishing a world atlas: to help us. Our Dumb World is an invaluable tool for any reader interested in overthrowing a weakened government in East Asia, exploiting a developing nation in Africa, or for directions to tonight's party at Erica's. It is a reference guide to 250,000 of the world's most important places, such as North Korea's Trench of Victory, the Great Human Pyramid of Egypt, and Saudi Arabia's superhighway, the Mohammedobahn.
How to Be Yourself: Life-Changing Advice from a Reckless Contrarian
Simon Doonan - 2020
Through his unconventional wisdom and singular storytelling, Simon Doonan is the ideal instructor to help readers find – and then flaunt – their own creative style and vision. With provocative wit, he walks us through every aspect of our lives: fashion, socializing, love, work, decor, and family, sharing case studies, quotations by cultural icons and practical tips.Illustrated with amusing vintage and contemporary photographs, some lifted from the Doonan family album, How to Be Yourself is an inspiring, joyful and entertaining survival guide – a literary GPS that promises to transport you away from your phone and back to yourself.
All My Friends Are Dead
Avery Monsen - 2010
In other words, perfect."
- The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form
How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet
Michael Cunningham - 2020
And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.
The Portable Doonesbury
G.B. Trudeau - 1993
Incorporating all the essential daily strips and full-color Sundays, The Portable Doonesbury is an unblinking analysis of history in the making. The days of the 1992 elections are covered here, including: the controversial (and newsmaking) strips about Dan Quayle's DEA file; a long look under the hood of a tiny, deeply disturbed Texas billionaire; and a consideration of the mysterious sway a dark-horse candidate from Arkansas held over political reporters. The Portable Doonesbury also encompasses the Gulf War - from B.D.'s off-shore fling with a superior officer to Duke's grand opening of Club Scud, home of the $50 hamburger. Whether read on the road or in the safety of an armchair, The Portable Doonesbury is a funny, insightful chronicle of our times.
Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: The Story of Schitt's Creek
Daniel LevyDustin Milligan - 2021
This beautifully produced, keepsake coffee-table book is the ultimate celebration of the series, the town, the characters, and the state of mind that is Schitt's Creek. Capturing the essence and alchemy of all six seasons of what is now considered to be one of the most groundbreaking comedy television series of the last decade, Best Wishes, Warmest Regards is a gift to fans everywhere who have made the show their own.Included are character profiles from the cast of Johnny, Moira, David, and Alexis, and all of the characters that populate the town, major moments from Moira's endorsement of Herb Ertlinger Winery, to Patrick and David's first kiss, to Cabaret and the Rose Family Christmas episode. Also included are special features, such as the complete, illustrated catalogs of David's knits and Moira's wigs, Moira's vocabulary, Alexis's adventures, and behind-the-scenes moments from Dan and Eugene Levy and the cast of Schitt's Creek.
Lost: Lost and Found Pet Posters from Around the World
Ian Phillips - 2002
And even if we haven't seen the wanderer in question, many of us stop to read these notices, which are often charming combinations of heartfelt pleas, humor, and handmade art.For the last decade, Ian Phillips has collected lost pet posters from around world. In Lost, Phillips selects from his vast collection those posters notable for their cleverness, humor, sorrow, entreaties, rewards, and-in several instances-sheer outlandishness ("Lost Lost Lost: one brown and white 'mottled' street duck. Does not answer to the name of Neither Norman"). For designers, artists, or anyone who wants to tap into the human and creative side of our everyday lives under stress, Lost is a book that tells a story on every page.As a collection, the posters represent an authentic folk art that expresses a commonality between the readers and the makers from the United States to China. For pet owners everywhere, and for anyone who has very stopped to read a lost pet poster, Lost is a heart-warming tribute.
Notes From a Very Small Island
Anthony Stancomb - 2015
Full of acute observation, uncontrollable humour and a rousing climax.’ - Country Life ‘To his credit Stancomb resists the stereotype of the closed-minded British expatriate.’ - Independent on Sunday - Pick of the paperbacks ‘A thoroughly good read ---An endearing tale of a roller coaster ride.’ - Croatia Online ‘This is not a tale of your usual English couple. This is such a fantastic read ... both humorous and thought provoking.’ - Travellingbookjunkie ‘The author presents this quirky little tale in an honest way, even when he is on the receiving end of a joke. You don’t need to make a break with your past to enjoy this book. It is a fascinating, humorous and totally believable read.’ - Robin’s Reviews ‘A good read. I enjoyed best the humorous bits.’ Tony Rossiter (author of It’s Only a Bloody Game) ‘A good read.’ - Tariq Ali Notes From a Very Small Island is the follow-up to the bestselling ‘Under a Croatian Sun’, which tells the story of a couple upping sticks and leaving their humdrum life in London for blue skies and café life on an island in Croatia. In this second book, the couple continue their attempts to fit in with the village community, but it’s not always easy, and more often than not their endeavours involve them in in hilarious disasters. They also now try to start some projects up, but they have to battle with maddening ex-communist authorities and highly suspicious locals. However, through this, they get to see the crippling legacies that communism and the recent war have left in the lives of their new neighbours. Although largely a light hearted tale, the book is also a heartfelt insight into a community trying to adjust to being members of the EU and the ways of the Western World.
Secret Lives of Great Authors
Robert Schnakenberg - 2008
With outrageous and uncensored profiles of everyone from William Shakespeare to Thomas Pynchon, Secret Lives of Great Authors tackles all the tough questions your high school teachers were afraid to ask: What’s the deal with Lewis Carroll and little girls? Is it true that J. D. Salinger drank his own urine? How many women?and men?did Lord Byron actually sleep with? And why was Ayn Rand such a big fan of Charlie’s Angels? Classic literature was never this much fun in school!