We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!

    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Then in "Barbecue Blunder," sometimes it's fun to reminisce about picnics gone by!

    The woman you see at the bus stop every morning; the man who reaches for the last newspaper just before you get to it. Everyone you meet, and some you nearly meet, will have an impact on the way your day goes.Small World is the story of a group of men and women, living and working in a city, who are connected through love, work, friendship, or simply by virtue of proximity. We connect with the hearts and minds of characters including an all-coping housewife, a stressed out working mother, a put-upon nanny, a long-suffering journalist, an Indian waiter who dreams of stardom, a grieving shop assistant, a stand-up comic and a psychotic policeman - all of whom speak directly to us about their innermost thoughts, fears and desires in a series of interwoven first-person narratives.

    Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series

    62 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.