After a long career spent rescuing prisoners from the KGB or helping defectors across the Berlin Wall the world has changed. The Wall has gone and no longer is there a need for a Russian speaking, ice-cold killer. The bad guys now all speak Arabic and state secrets are transmitted via satellite using blowfish algorithms impenetrable to anybody over the age of twelve. Counting down the days to his retirement by babysitting drunken visiting politicos he is seconded by MI6 for one last case. £250,000,000 of government money destined as a payoff for the dictator of a strategic African nation goes missing on its way to a remote Cornish airfield. Tremayne is dispatched to retrieve the money and nothing is going to stand in his way. Armed with an IQ of 165 and a bewildering array of weaponry and gadgets he is not about to be outmanoeuvred by the inhabitants of a small Cornish fishing village. Or is he? The Money That Never Was is a hilarious new novel by the author of the best selling "Return of The Hippy". Combining the innocent humour of the old Ealing Comedies with themes of alienation and belonging David Luddington manages to weave an engaging tale of one man's personal struggle with a world gone mad. It just happens that the man who is struggling is a trained MI6 agent, ruthless and efficient and the world with which is is struggling consists of fish & chips, cider and fudge. Not to mention the bungling Barry Penwrith desperate to hang on to his windfall.

    His wife Helen feels isolated in their large suburban home where her social life has all but disappeared as a result of their life long friends relocating to various retirement communities around the country. Mike is dead set against such a move, viewing it as a giant step closer to the grave. Mike and Helen struggle to come to a mutually agreeable solution spending countless hours visiting one retirement community after another. Their journey takes them from Connecticut to Florida and numerous stops in between. You guessed it. Mike finds objections everywhere and voices them non-stop to every sales agent. Then out of the blue all their plans take an unexpected turn.

    

    And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    When beach-connoisseur Taco Bob decides on a road trip, he leaves the Conch Republic in search of the beautiful woman who broke his heart, and the ultimate trout recipe. But soon after he leaves town, the entire state is in an uproar when a young man on a mission from Texas makes off with the most prized souvenir in Key West. Meanwhile, a sexy but twisted cult leader shows up, determined to find some magical gold idols so she can rule the world, or at least the world of lingerie fashion. But first she has to deal with a renegade bounty hunter, a nearly invisible rival from her past, and the untold thousands of people cramming into Key West for the biggest outdoor concert in the state's history. Taco Bob is going to have plenty of surprises waiting when he returns to the southernmost city in the US. At least it was the southernmost city when he left.

    Why should the afterlife be any different? We are given a choice when we die to move on to the Source, stay on earth and slowly evolve into more of what we were (good people become angels and bad people become demons), or a chosen few can work to keep the Balance between them. The title character Raven is such a warrior who works to maintain that balance.Malign, the demon responsible for most of the world’s cataclysmic wars, has come to the United States with an army of vampires or, more specifically, demons she has convinced to act as those fabled creatures of the night to sow discord and social unrest. Raven and the other Balance soldiers must track Malign down and in their spare time try to convince the ancient angel Metatron that he is doing more harm than good with his participation in mortal affairs. Tagging along for the ride are a motorcycle gang of millionaire philanthropists, Raven’s fellow Balance warrior Zeus’ younger angelic brother, and the demon Lucifer with his babysitter Gabriel.The novel is written in two styles. Each chapter begins in a soliloquy from the title character Raven, where she tells pieces of her back-story intertwined with philosophical musings on her family life and dealing with loss, with the following bulk of the chapter told in a third person narrative.

    Their destination was the Eden Valley, and a small stock-rearing and dairy farm called Rowfoot. There they have spent the last 20 years getting to grips with the practice of running a working farm, keeping sheep, cattle, pigs, and horses, becoming part of the community, and coping with the ups and downs of farming life.

    Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where's the good stuff, the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don t tell you about pregnancy the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    And she's seen how a simple message of hope uplifts a life that's left in tatters.In these pages you'll find a daily dollop of Barbara's favorite jokes, heartwarming stories, witty cartoons, and heartache-survival strategies. Share a moment each morning with the Geranium Lady, and soon you, like Barbara, will realize you've been "blessed to be a blessing."

    This could be due to the nearsightedness that presented itself in third grade when she became known as four-eyed Smelly Kelly, but it’s not. According to her high school Journalism teacher, Potter has a unique perspective and outlook on life. She still doesn’t know if that was a compliment or an insult – or perhaps, just a nice way to say she’s weird. In this collection of essays, Four Eyes Were Never Better Than Two…and other observations, Potter offers a candid look at the human condition with tales recounting the past and present. From her younger days of dreaming about being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader so she could own pom-poms to sex education taught by a Joyce Dewitt look-alike, Potter confesses all – including the ironic account of throwing up on a dog named Ralph. No stranger to embarrassment, she writes of cold sores that require an exorcism and the torture that was seventh grade gym class, capturing the angst, humiliation, and absurdity in those moments that often define us as individuals. Observations include: desperation can make a person do some pretty stupid things like answering a personal ad, hot wax is best left in the hands of a professional if you value your lips, and nothing is so surprising as the man who claims to hate dancing busting a move in a hospital recovery room. Even if you’ve never had to admit in a public setting that you’re having your period, passed out at the eye doctor’s office, or had an illogical fear of a lawn mower, Potter’s self-deprecating wit and sometimes bizarre sense of humor will make you glad these things only happen on sit-coms… or to her.

    Michael Black’s world has seen a lot of changes over the past year, and falling for a witch who chats with his animal patients has been the best one by far. He’s decided to make it official, so the men associated with the coven insist on helping him celebrate. Michael is popping the question to the woman he loves, the coven has only two trials to go before the prophecy is fulfilled, and the guys want to throw him a bachelor party. Sounds like a plan. And no demon is going to stand in his way.

    Follow the flailing escapades of maverick music manager Campbell Ouiniette at the Calgary Folk Festival, as he leaves a trail of empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts, bruised egos, and obliterated relationships behind him. His top headlining act has abandoned him for the Big Time. In a fit of self-delusion or pure genius (or perhaps a bit of both), Ouiniette devises an intricate scam, a last hurrah in an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of his girlfriend, the music industry, and the rest of the world. He reveals his path of destruction in his own transparently self-justifying, explosive, profane words, with digressions into the Edmonton hardcore punk rock scene, the Yugoslavian Civil War, and other epicentres of chaos.

    Spanning from 1839 right through to 1894 the incorrigible Flashman fears all evil and when it comes to voluptuous queens and princesses he has be known to waver from his mission. Filled to the gunnels with escapades of unwavering excitement THE COMPLETE FLASHMAN PAPERS will quench even the most ravenous appetite for Flashman.

    When a major gas line breaks, leaving them with no heat, no hot water, and no way to cook for Christmas, Jace Applewhite invites Tara and her sibs out to his family's Christmas tree farm. Will a good old fashioned farmhouse Christmas be enough to get Tara to give him a second glance?See You Again (Book 8)Mayor Sandra Crawford has survived divorce and cancer, but she's not at all sure she'll survive the discovery that her town's benefactor is actually the man she nearly left her husband for almost 30 years ago. Gerald Peyton, III didn't fight for Sandy back in college--a decision he's regretted ever since. Now Trey's older, wiser, and determined to win the heart of the woman he's never forgotten.The Christmas Fountain (Book 9)After finding out her Mr. Right was actually Mr. Wrong, Mary Alice is taking a break from love to chair her favorite holiday charity. Chad thinks volunteering is the perfect way to get to know his Christmas crush. Will he manage to overcome her once bitten, twice shy caution?