From the horrors of childhood to the vagaries of old age, from confused people to humiliated animals, we're all just trying - and often failing - to keep it together. How carefully should you answer when asked what you'd take to a desert island? What do you do if your parents are reading your diary? How useful is a Swiss Army Knife? And what's A Brief History of Time really about?Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Simon Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives, from the most minute of anxieties to one of life's biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was ...'Simon Rich is very much laugh-out-loud funny. He can conjure authentic, from-the-abdomen laughter on almost every page. He stacks surrealism on top of slick satire on top of pure childish silliness in such a brilliant and condensed way, there are sometimes three laugh-out-loud moments within the same paragraph ... He is exactly the right kind of writer for the internet: funny, high-concept, accessible, short, sharable, a James Thurber for the Twitter age' Matt Haig

    But when Ilan, Terrac, and the Fists in their command enter Skeltai territory through a magic portal, they find themselves in more danger than they bargained for. Their only hope of returning home alive may lie in sacrificing the thing Ilan values most -- her enchanted bow. * * * * *Book 5: Journey of Thieves -- Upon leaving Dimmingwood, Ilan thinks she has finally escaped the influence of her old enemy, the Praetor. But the secrets of her past catch up to her when she and her friends are trailed across the provinces by a mysterious assassin with a haunting connection to her childhood. * * * * *Book 6: Rule of Thieves -- Returning home, Ilan finds nothing is as she left it. After a year of peace, Skeltai raiders are once again threatening the province, even as the Dimmingwood thieves find themselves betrayed by the praetor. From within the castle in Selbius Ilan must guard against an unknown enemy plotting her assassination, while uncovering a mage's secret that could help her protect the province. When old friends turn against her, will a new alliance prove powerful enough to defend against the dark magic of the enemy? Or will the coming battle be Ilan's last? --- Books 1, 2, and 3 sold separately --

    Eli comes to town and shakes up Clara's perfect little life. He feeds off emotions, but hers are so much more than what he's ever felt before. And then all hell breaks loose when his kind, and his insane brother, find out. A rebellion brews, bonds form with witches and elves, ready to fight for their mates. DevourClara has it all. A wrestling star boyfriend, popular friends, all the right school activities...pretty much a perfect life...up until her parents died. Now she lives with the Pastor and his family and though they take good care of her, she feels alone. Then her boyfriend, Tate, starts to show signs of trouble when a new guy, Eli, comes to town. Clara is fascinated with him, but hides it until something happens. Eli confesses that she gives him something he's never had before...something he needs. He feeds off emotions, but hers are so much more than what he's ever felt before. Everything is about to change for this normal, pretty, popular girl in a supernatural way.ConsumeEli and Clara's story continues as she tries to finish high school. Eli is as over protective as ever and Tate and his group of friends are no help. They wait for the Horde, always looking over their shoulder. But the ever annoying but strangely prophetic bird begins to become more of a chatter box and Eli learns something that could change some things. Not just for him and Clara, but Devourers everywhere. Then an unexpectedness guest comes forcing Eli to flee with Clara, leaving her temporary family behind. She is thrown into his world of underground 'traitors' and learns much of his past. They meet many new people and creatures along the way to freedom. But when tragedy strikes the two, will Clara see the monster in Eli? Can she handle his strange world and awful past? Will one of them lose their life forever...AlteredEnoch is tested. His brother is human, the thing he hates. He watches as the brother he knew is stripped away by his love for Clara. He's never hated someone as much as he hated her...but the bond forced him to not only want to protect her, but feel things he never had before. When a girl needs his help, that split second decision changes his whole world in one instant. A Devourer's Fate...

     CITY OF ROGUES: Book I of The Kobalos Trilogy Kron Darkbow seeks vengeance, and he plans to have it no matter the costs. Returning to the city of his birth after 15 years, he hunts down the wizard responsible for the deaths of those he loved only to find out another was responsible for the murders. That other is Belgad the Liar, a former barbarian chieftain who is now boss of the city's underworld.  ROAD TO WRATH: Book II of The Kobalos Trilogy Kron Darkbow has fled the city of Bond, along with healer mage Randall Tendbones and professional duelist Adara Corvus. Everywhere they turn are enemies. Even the goal of their travels offers no peace, for the group rides to the land of Kobalos where Randall must face that nation’s Lord Verkain, the alleged Dark King of the North.  DARK KING OF THE NORTH: Book III of The Kobalos Trilogy Kron Darkbow and companions have survived the mean streets of the city of Bond and the dangers of the Prison Lands, but now they dare to journey into Kobalos, a dark northern land ruled by King Verkain, a powerful mage rumored to be immortal and mad.  Always on their trail is underworld crime boss Belgad the Liar and his crew of deadly killers. Not only does Belgad seek vengeance against Kron, but he also wants to capture Kron's friend, the healer Randall Tendbones, the last of Verkain's children whom the king wants dead.  It is in Kobalos, in the darkest of hours, alone with enemies all around, Darkbow becomes the last hope for all. But to defeat his foes, first he must learn to defeat his own rage. GHOSTS OF THE ASYLUM: Book I of The Horrors of Bond Trilogy The streets of the city of Bond boil with discontent.  Political struggles within a power vacuum bring dreams of dominance to some among the lower levels of the city’s underbelly. Common thugs and guild bosses alike conspire together, their goal to eliminate the figure of Kron Darkbow.  Permanently.  Kron has become a symbol on the streets, and his removal would not only clear the way for others, but also would be a sign of who has the real power in Bond.  Amidst the chaos, buildings burn, riots go nearly unchecked, and even the city guard find themselves forced to retreat.  DEMON CHAINS: Book II of The Horrors of Bond Trilogy A sick murderer stalks the streets of the city of Bond.  The killer leaves behind tortured and twisted bodies sliced and ripped apart, often after the most horrible of violations. It falls upon Kron Darkbow to hunt this killer preying upon the weak and the strong alike, but he soon realizes there is more than one culprit involved in these horrible crimes. A dark mage and his demon partner are at fault, and with each death they grow more and more powerful.  THE COMPANY OF SEVEN: Book III of The Horrors of Bond Trilogy An undead mage thousands of years old slinks through the city of Bond.  Rising up from beneath the soil, he soon finds himself allied with escaped fugitives from the Prisonlands, a former knight, a pair of assassins and the chief of thieves.  Each has their own wants, their own goals, but the wizard's are the most deadly to the citizens of Bond, and he refuses to be denied his destiny.

    A dark ritual turns a woman obsessed with supernatural powers against the people who love her most. A possessed TV proves that old B-Movie monsters can still terrify an unsuspecting audience…Scare Street’s roster of authors brings you eleven new tales of supernatural horror, in one blood-chilling volume. This macabre collection of short stories is guaranteed to get your pulse racing, and send shivers down your spine.Each deliciously dark tale will haunt your dreams, and keep you reading long past the witching hour. But wait…What was that noise? Did something move in the shadows?Just keep telling yourself… it’s only a story.

    5,000 words (16 pages).For Bafion, there is no farther to fall. Once a banneret, officer, and gentleman, he is none of those things now. He is a swordsman who has slipped through the cracks of society and is eking out an existence as a thug for hire.Bafion is presented with the opportunity to reclaim some of what was lost to him, but to do so will mean facing part of his past that he would rather forget.The Swordsman of Tanosa is a swashbuckling fantasy short story set in the same world as the Society of the Sword trilogy.

    It was said that anyone bold enough to find this runaway planet might be rewarded with technology beyond imagination. But, this ghost planet was traveling at nearly the speed of light and only known to pass through a single set of coordinates once every thousand years. It would take a dangerous rendezvous in warped time and space just to confirm the legend, and trying to set foot on a deserted future world promised even greater peril. Join Adrian Tarn and R.J. Smith as they dare to tempt fate on a mission filled with mysteries from the future and dangers from the present. (standalone, Adrian Tarn series #5)

    Mountain of Daggers is the first collection of fantasy tales by Damoren author, Seth Skorkowsky.DESCRIPTIONSome call him hero. Others, a menace. But everyone agrees that Ahren is the best thief in the world. Whether he’s breaking into an impregnable fortress, fighting pirates, or striking the final blow in political war, Ahren is the man for the job.After being framed for murder, his reward posters named him the Black Raven. To survive, Ahren finds himself drafted into the Tyenee, a secret criminal organization whose influence stretches across the world. Their missions are the most daring, the most dangerous, and the penalty for failure is death. When no one else can do it, they send the Black Raven.Mountain of Daggers is the first book in this collection of tales by Seth Skorkowsky, the author of Damoren, book one of the best-selling Valducan urban fantasy series.

    But when she and her friend, Peter, find a valuable coin and try to take it out of the shop, they find themselves in the fifteenth century. But that is only the beginning. The Edward V Coin The discovery of the coin from the short lived reign of Edward V, prompts Peter to want to find out what really happened to the princes in the Tower. The Anne Boleyn Necklace When Peter finds the famous B necklace worn by Anne Boleyn in many portraits, he is eager to use it to go back and see her in the flesh. But Rachel has sworn she'll never time travel again, until she finds a journal which reveals a cousin, stranded in the fifteenth century. She feels she must rescue her, but she doesn't stop to wonder if the cousin wants to be rescued. The Ripper Rings Jack the Ripper took souvenirs in the form of organs from his victims. But from one victim he took three rings and when they turn up in the antique shop, both Peter and Rachel are keen to find out how they got there.

    A disused London Underground lift goes way beyond the bottom floor.A psychic boy discovers what terrors are buried in the fallow field.A handshake seals a midnight fate in an old farming dispute.A corpse must be buried by dawn.BLACK GATE TALES: Fourteen short stories of dread, hope, death and wonder.

    

    

    This collection from Australia and around the world gives us stories that are sad and happy, thoughtful and humourous, but always abounding with the author's trade mark generosity of spirit. Families, friends, lovers and the lonely, all are drawn with affection and wisdom.* Elsa makes a Christmas wish at the Statue of Liberty which comes true in a most unexpected way.* Amy opts for the simple life when Dan bites off more than he can chew.* Frankie uses an unexpected trip with Robert to find out what she really wants from their relationship.* Victor, a self-confessed hopeless romantic, accompanies a friend to Australia with no thought of love on his mind.* Nick and Janet meet at the Sydney Fish Markets...everything seems perfect, what could go wrong?* Victoria imagines what it would mean to her widowed father to join her in his beloved Paris for a weekend.* Bran enters a competition to broaden his horizons.

    When an oil rig drills too deep under the Gulf of Mexico it breaks the capstone separating our world from the UnderRealms - home to monsters, daemons and dark magiks. The nightmares of our long ago come flooding back into the world where they are met by automatic weapons fire, heating seeking missiles (they're hell on dragons, don'tcha know) and one drunken, dissolute son of a bitch called Dave. But this is not Dave's story. This is the story of the poor bastards who had to put up with him while he saved the world and acted like a jerk.