Being a prison officer was something I used to be proud of. I soon realised the truth of what its like working as a screw, though.It's afucking headache. Corruption, danger, violence. Welcome to my world.'Ronnie Thompson was just an ordinary guy. That is, until hebecame a prison officer. By the time he started work at HMP Romwell, he realised he was actually a nurse, a copper, a probation officer, a carer, a councillor, a social worker and, of course, an incarcerator all in one. Oh, and a punch bag for the cons and bosses.In SCREWED, Ronnie tells it like it is. Hereveals what really goes on behind bars-the times when force is necessary and used, and when it is unnecessary but still used.He exposes the underworld of bent screws, the drugs they traffic, the firms they work for and what they get paid for their sins.He shows how it is left down to a small group of officers to control an over-flowing prison, keep an eye out for corrupt govenors, and dodge the deluded human rights campaigners. Ultimately, he shows us that being a good screw doesnt always mean sticking to the rules...

    He thought fast and he shot fast, but how many battles can a peace loving cowpoke survive when every gunman is set against him.

    When the notoriety that came along with fame was too much for her to bear, she seeks refuge in the luscious green Panchgani.Advait Rana was a workaholic and a single dad. Balancing the two roles was not easy. The guilt of neglecting his ten-year-old motherless daughter made him decide to become a better father than he was. He takes a leave and heads toward Panchgani, little knowing that fate had other plans.A chance accident changes their lives forever.Born in simplicity, shunned for her ambition by her family, and shamed for her choice in men, Lolita was everything Advait wanted to avoid--for his and his daughter's sake. Little did he know that it was this attitude that made him a target of the diva of the silver screen. For Lolita was born to win over hearts.Disclaimer: This book is for the matured audience.

    

    His father was black, his mother a full-blood member of the Kickapoo Traditional Tribe of Texas. He remembers neither of them. Both disappeared soon after Concho’s birth and his Kickapoo grandmother raised him on the tribal reservation just outside Eagle Pass, Texas.Often bullied as a youth for his differences, Concho soon grew into the promise of his big hands and wide shoulders. Hatred of him remained in some; fear joined that emotion in others. Concho learned to walk a solitary path, which first took him away to college and then to Afghanistan as an Army Ranger.Now, a group of Neo-Nazi terrorists have taken over a mall in Eagle Pass. One hostage is the woman Concho loves. The only path Concho can see is straight ahead and through.

    While prepared for sunshine and storms 13º south of the equator, the Patras family are ill-equipped for much else. Interspersed with snippets from Ann’s letters home, this crazy story describes encounters ranging from lizards to lions, servants to shopping shortages, and cockroaches to curfews.

    I want there to be a combination of the past juxtaposed with the modern. I use nature to symbolize the search, saving a tree, watering the earth. In this fabricated world, strange clouds of smog float by; there are holes in the sky. These mythic images mirror our world, where nature is domesticated, controlled, and destroyed. Through my work I explore technology and a poetry of existence. These can be very heavy, overly didactic issues to convey in art, so I choose to portray them through a more theatrically absurd approach.--Robert ParkeHarrison

    The murder of a beautiful woman shatters the rural village peace of Alfredville, and her husband, the police station commander, is jailed as chief suspect. Her cousin Peter, a freelance writer in London, returns to South Africa for the first time in decades – unsettled, curious, but also in search of a career-defining story. On checking into the Queen’s Hotel he finds that things are not as straightforward as he imagined, and South Africa is not as he left it. His carefully ordered world is thrown into turmoil as his trip dredges up a long-abandoned past, forcing him to question the assumptions so easily held from the comfort of his London flat. He meets a mixture of locals, visitors, vagrants and migrants, but most momentously, Peter discovers that his bosom friend from school, Bennie Nienaber, is still in Alfredville – and is in fact now, acting station commander at the local police station. Peter re-establishes an awkward friendship with his erstwhile friend and the two warily circle each other, sharing reminiscences that hint at a bond much deeper than nostalgia. As Peter abandons the neatly patterned story he had planned and is forced to participate in a community that he once despised, he begins to reconsider his place in the world. In search of Desirée’s story, he now starts to rewrite his own – till events take an even more shocking turn….Lost Ground explores questions of xenophobia and prejudice, of national, sexual and personal identity, and what it means to be a foreigner wherever you go.Michiel Heyns is the author of four previous novels: The Children’s Day, The Reluctant Passenger, The Typewriter’s Tale and Bodies Politic. He is a translator and was professor of English at the University of Stellenbosch.

    The intensive education that follows offers Henry a model for future excellence; a model that he is doomed to fail.On his accession, he chooses his brother’s widow, Caterina of Aragon, to be his queen. Together they plan to reinstate the glory of days of old and fill the royal nursery with boys.But when their first-born son dies at just a few months old, and subsequent babies are born dead or perish in the womb, the king’s golden dreams are tarnishedChristendom mocks the virile prince. Caterina’s fertile years are ending yet all he has is one useless living daughter, and a baseborn son.He needs a solution but stubborn to the end, Caterina refuses to step aside.As their relationship founders his eye is caught by a woman newly arrived from the French court. Her name is Anne Boleyn. A Matter of Conscience: The Aragon Years offers a unique first-person account of the ‘monster’ we love to hate and reveals a man on the edge; an amiable man made dangerous by his own impossible expectation.The story continues in A Matter of Faith : Book Two of The Henrician Chronicle.

    Despite his overbearing nature, Shade delights in her new role as wife and mother. When her husband suddenly dies years later, she uncovers secrets from his past—secrets so profound they derail the lives of both her and her daughter. After tragedy strikes, thirty-six-year-old Shade gains custody of her young grandson, Tyler, and moves to a small Michigan beach town where she becomes the owner of a successful bakery and café. Shade meets and falls in love with Tyler’s baseball coach, but their love for one another is doomed. Shade’s internal struggle to honor her vow to God, while denying her own desires, throws her on a path of painful redemption.

    He appeared into her life again, only to kidnap her on the night before her wedding.Rohan is an ex-Air Force pilot asked to rescue a politician's daughter held hostage near a forest. It was supposed to be a simple task, until the maddening woman put up a fight.Heated arguments flare up during journey through the forest. Years of unresolved feelings along with strong, sizzling attraction turn into unexpected roaring passion.Will they part ways after the rescue? Or will the days spent together in the beautiful wilderness make them fall in love?Wild in Love is a standalone enemies-to-lovers romance.

    And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about it…Help arrives sooner than expected—and he couldn’t be more different to the man he’s replacing. Dan Zark is the brooding, gorgeous ranch hand with an unexpected surprise in tow: his adorable five-year-old son, Jake.It quickly becomes apparent that Dan is the perfect man for the job—even if calling him “strong and silent” would be an understatement!As the weeks pass, Caitlin grows ever keener to reconcile the loving, warm-hearted man Dan is around his son with the gruff, monosyllabic outdoorsman he is the rest of the time. What’s eating at him?To find out, she’s going to have to cross a line, or several.And further adorable surprises may yet be in store!

    So what made him risk it all for the gruelling, year-long SAS Selection course, with a better than ninety per cent chance of failing to win the toughest badge in the British Army at the end of it? Over the months of combat patrols, press-ups, punishing runs and Gas! Gas! Gas!, the ordeals of Long Drag and hostile interrogation, Ballinger learnt that who you think you are and what the Army wants you to be are very different things, and the end product of Selection bears little relation to either. This vivid, often funny account of the varied characters who commit so much to training for the 'misfits regiment' is remarkable both for its unromantic authenticity, and for its objective attempt to find out why. A question, Ballinger discovered, that few, if any, in the SAS could answer.

    

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL