(Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"Angela, Amazon UK reader"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."Thelma Coots, Amazon reader"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"Isienie V., Amazon reader*****Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

    Unenthused about attending a rich kid's party, Yuna sets out nonetheless. On her way, she walks straight into a face full of drama: a town with not one, but two warring feudal lords! Can the Bloody Bear calm these troubled waters? Or must she pick a side to support?

    . . . losing your diary is the WORST!! Then I decided that until I find it, I totally HAD to put together a list of important diary-keeping lessons to remember in case of missing diary emergencies like this one.This diary is full of tips from me on fun things to write about in your diary, with space for you to write and draw your own entries. Meanwhile, my BFFs Chloe and Zoey, my ANNOYING little sister Brianna, my crush Brandon (sighhh), and mean girl MacKenzie are all involved in the search for my real diary, with plenty of adventures along the way! SQUEEE!!!

    But under the surface new currents are stirring — forces that threaten everything he believes indestructible. As events spiral out of control, Pip is brought face to face with a dramatic choice that changes his life forever as he learns what it means to confront issues of life and death alone. And in the face of ultimate loss, what matters most of all?

    . . It is a period steeped in cinematic lore. Rebel filmmaker George Lucas, striking from a base in Northern California, won a tremendous box office victory against all odds with Star Wars, his sci-fi spectacular.During the ensuing craze, MAD's "Usual Gang of Idiots" managed to steal a few laughs at the movie's expense, soon discovering that Star Wars was the ultimate pop culture punching bag.Pursuing each Star Wars film's release with more mockery, the MAD men spent the next three decades making a farce of the Force and spreading mirth across the galaxy.Now, in this special edition volume, you'll chuckle as the Star Wars saga's greatest moments are mocked by such MAD greats as Dick DeBartolo, Mort Drucker, Don Martin, and Sergio Aragones; smirk as the striking similarities between the space battles created by Industrial Light & Magic and by the "Usual Gang of Idiots" are revealed; hum along to the unforgettable Star Wars musical, as penned by MAD's master lyricist, Frank Jacobs; gasp at the startling insights into R2-D2's love life; and marvel at the real reason why Lucas's lawyers never sued MAD.And that's just the beginning. . . .So, pick up this book and see why, when Star Wars gets the MAD treatment . . . Sith happens! It is your destiny.

    Archie 1000 Page Comics-Palooza collects 1000 pages of new and classic Archie tales in our biggest collection ever, with over 100 full-color stories featuring America's favorite red-head and friends navigating the pressures and pratfalls of teenagers everywhere!

    Its large text and bold illustrations make it perfect for very young children learning to read and just beginning to make friends. The Awkward Yeti explores behavior that both kids and adults can relate to, making it great for parents too. It's a very quick read that you can enjoy with your kids over and over again!

     What could be a better destination for the holidays than a peaceful inn tucked in the picturesque mountains of Vermont? But when a blizzard hits, three couples will be forced to deal not only with the weather but also with the reality of their relationships. Mary Michaels, competent innkeeper is very good at her job. And at hiding her growing attraction for the inn’s handyman, Joe Puletti. Friend of her late husband, Joe is a great catch, but with a five-year old son and complications from her past, Mary is not. Lila Benson needs to reinvent her life. What the quiet, second grade teacher doesn’t need is to run into a face from her past—Dan Hamilton, football star that she helped tutor in high school. And fell hopelessly in love with. Celia and Richard Davis have brought their children Kevin and Jenna for a family vacation. It will be their last since the divorce will be final soon. However, Kevin and Jenna have hopes that a little time together is all their parents need to heal their family. Can these relationships be saved? Anything’s possible at Christmas. Especially with the help of three children, a man with a white beard, the inn’s mysterious manager, and a reindeer.

    Norse fire ritual tells that on mid-summer’s day, animals and humans can shape-shift and one night Hilly finds herself connected to the young warrior and her fire stallion. As the two girls’ lives intertwine, Hilly soon realises that they’ll both have to risk everything for the love of their horses…Inspired by real-life historical events, The Fire Stallion is an epic tale…

    Guaranteed.   Let award-winning comedy troupe Kasper Hauser transport you into the sublime universe that is SkyMaul, where Banana-ganizers and Reality-Canceling Headphones coexist with Crack Pipe Chess Sets and Llamacycles. More than just a catalog parody, SkyMaul explodes with razor-sharp wit, boundless creativity, and a keen eye for the absurd. This smart, edgy satire will earn your laughter again and again.

    You'll lick your lips with this latest helping of the Belcher family, the stars of Fox Television's fan-favorite animated sitcom! Those delightful little scamps Tina, Gene, and Louise are always daydreaming of a life far from the reality of the family res

    LikeWhen does a bee go through metamorphosis?Why does a queen bee sometimes leave her hive?And where does all this honey come from, anyway?!But Nyuki’s biggest question is, “What is this inner voice I hear, and why does it tell me to go forth to adventure?Follow Nyuki on a lifelong journey as she annoys her sisters, avoids predators, and learns to trust her inner voice as she masters the way of the hive.And if you still have questions at the end, the back of the book uncovers even more mysteries about the lives of these incredible insects!

    Hateful. Foul-mouthed and bad tempered... He-Dog and Balless are all of these and more but, as mercenaries go, they are not without some merit. After accepting a mission that no one wanted, He-Dog and Balless travel the treacherous Lands of the South to the glittering city of Foust.There, they find the fabled walls under a massive Beastman siege.No one in their right mind would try to get past an army of Beastmen. But He-Dog, Balless, and their companions aren't in their right minds.Getting into Foust is utter madness.Getting out will get them killed.

    In the span of one day, Judian goes from the burden of farm chores to a crushing responsibility for the lives of his family. With his father and brother gone to war, he must keep the others safe and evade the enemy. If only he can trust the guides which appear, seemingly unbidden, he may succeed. Yet, he has so much to learn, and so little time. He struggles to keep to the fringes of the conflict, but the magic he discovers draws him deeper, toward the truth of the war. Mages from a distant land are driving the enemy forces. To what end? Follow Judian as he comes of age in a world of portents and spellcasting. Though life as a farm boy left him longing for more adventure, he must be careful with his wishes during the fateful year he becomes a man.

    After battling deadly space piranhas in Sector 7 of the Cosmos, Rocket and Groot crash-land on a planet made up of strip malls, maniacal robots bent on customer service, and killer toilets - yes, killer toilets! Told through the eyes of Rocket, the Adventures of Rocket and Groot will feature simple black-and-white drawing throughout, as Rocket uses a space stylus to express his adventures, visually, while Veronica, their space recording companion, lays out the adventure in text! Granted, the drawings are done by a space Raccoon with a bad attitude, but what would happen if he gave Groot a shot to draw an adventure they had been on? what would we get? We'll find out in the final chapter!