i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

    

    

    Over the last few years, a surprising number of murders have taken place there. That doesn't sit well with Chloe Cook. The amateur sleuth wants nothing more than to restore peace to her scenic hometown. And she will stop at nothing to bring the killers to justice. This cozy mystery set features three books from the Chloe Cook series including: * Deadly Resentment * Killer Finale * Death, Divorce, and Dessert Buy your copy of Kayla Michelle Three-Book Cozy Mystery Set right now!

    Trying to show everyone that she wasn’t weird, Lindsey made a goal to become more social and more confident. One day as she was walking home from school contemplating a plan to get friends, Lindsey hears one of her classmates, popular and pretty student Laurie, yelling at an unknown person. Overhearing their conversation, Lindsey learned that the two are waiting for someone to ‘awaken’ and save them from something. Curiosity takes over Lindsey and she decides to abandon her mission of making friends and takes on a new mission of finding out what Laurie is hiding. However, what Lindsey learned was something definitely out of a Harry Potter novel and Lindsey is ultimately the one who awakens to a world that she never thought existed.

    For each craves a change in her life: Devera desires a break from her humdrum marital routine; BiDi longs to reconnect with her distant fourteen-year-old daughter (the only girl on the high school hockey team), not to mention jump-start a sex drive stuck in neutral. So when Devera’s husband decides to fulfill his longtime dream of opening a nightclub in his basement, Your Oasis on Flame Lake arrives not a moment too soon. Nothing fancy, it’s just a BYOB joint where you can hang out, sing, dance, tell jokes, and be yourself. But then an unexpected crisis throws both families into chaos, forcing them all to take stock of their lives—and learn the power of forgiveness.

    At first, she writes all about the private jokes she shares with her best friend Sheila, and the grief she gets from her little brother RJ, who always gets into her stuff and never gets in trouble. But then, one morning, she realizes that the mysterious inscription on the old medallion she found when she was seven is written in her secret language! Join Janie as she explores the hidden mysteries of the medallion, while figuring out how to deal with Marcia the Snob, RJ, and even her mother - who always looks nice and doesn't understand how hard things can be when you're eleven.

    Aimed for readers age five to ten, Bookata’s books allow the users (parents and children alike) to change in a few minutes the whole content, from illustrations to text.

    William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066; and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breath the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."

    Imaginations will fly as fans play with four different panoramic scenes and over 70 colorful, reusable stickers.

    A journey of self-realization and renewed assessment of our lives, marked by silly anecdotes, mindless distractions, and everyday truths. This book is a humorous retelling of the author’s personal blunders and mind-boggling human behavior in general, strung together by a series of hilarious open letters. It is a modest pursuit to deliver a little relief, and diversion from the pandemic’s grim realities. It’s also an attempt to reaffirm the need for a good laugh to help deal with the doom and gloom that now surrounds our lives. Each letter picks up a relatable theme of our lockdown life – be it our obsession with baking banana bread, growing out our beards, or finding the fanciest holiday homes in Goa. What comes out, is a light and delightful offering that anyone living in this era shouldn’t miss. “A breezy read that goes well with your evening tea (like Marie Gold) or finds a permanent spot on your nightstand. A perfect picker-upper if you're feeling down, it reminded me of Bill Bryson's 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' and Hugh Prather's 'Notes to Myself'.”- Manish Bhatt, Founder/CCO August Communications“Hits a cord with everyone who has left the rat race of ‘acquiring new skills’. It is honest, straightforward, and downright hilarious. I loved the book. I found it clutter-breaking, relatable and non-preachy.” - Shilpi Agarwal, Blogger @bookgasmicSome important information:o The book is part memoir, part random lists and part mean musings.o It celebrates the ability to find humor in unexpected predicaments and life in general.o It’s a collection of letters addressed to the most unlikely of receivers, filled with pithy observations, irreverent and ruthless humor about the little idiosyncrasies of life in lockdown.o Each of these perfectly bite sized letters are wonderful accompaniments to the massive mood swings that is our reality in the times of corona.o Under no circumstance, this book is to be taken seriously, seriously.Savor this quick pick-me-up with a hot cup, a pinch of salt and a great deal of grins."

    After ten years of marriage, Andy and Meg have just bought their dream house and are expecting their first child. But the picture-perfect bliss is shattered when, nine weeks away from the birth, Andy walks away from it all.

    '101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids', a fun, funny, and often cheesy joke book. </h2><br>101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids is a wonderful, natural way for children to improve their reading. They are able to practice their reading skills whilst enjoying themselves.<br><br>Joke books for kids have the added benefit of improving memories, and importantly, instilling confidence. Children are given a great reason to talk in front of groups and with practice are able to feel comfortable doing it.<br><br>Joke books for kids on kindle are also a fun way for a family to interact, laughing - or moaning - at the jokes.<br><br><br><h2> Reviews for IP Factly joke books: </h2><br><b> Child appropriate jokes, April 24 By A-J (Australia) </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>Got it for my son's 10th birthday, he loved it and I love the fact it gets him reading. I personally can't comment on the content as we have just spent 4 hours on the road, many of them listening to these jokes!<br><br><b> Substitute Teachers Take Note, March 29, 2013 By Donna Galloway </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>This is fun and the elementary kids that I sub like to call it up and use it for our free time or great for indoor recess. I am afraid that I will need a new set of 101's before too long, the kids are learning these!<br><br><b> Happy grandkid, March 11, 2013 By Priscilla Branham </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>I bought this for my grand child. He loved reading it on the kindle. He was trying the jokes out on all the family members.<br><br><b> My son loves 'em., February 22, 2013 By James Leonard </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>My six year old gets a kick out of these corny little knock knock jokes. It entertains him, and makes him laugh.<br><br><h2> IP Factly 'Joke Books for Kids' series includes: </h2><br>'101 Doctor Doctor Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Elephant Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Bird Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Creepy Crawly Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br><br><b> Scroll up and Buy this book now - your child will love going back to it again and again.</b>

    I should not line dance under the influence, and I think we both know that now. I owe you for letting me borrow that really expensive evening clutch with the feathers. I had no idea puppies liked feathers.I owe you for that really poor financial advice I gave to you. It was loud on the subway, but I thought I heard that guy in the suit say, "Buy Enron." I owe you for Brad. Let's not talk about him ever again. You're smart. You're funny. You text just the right amount. You're the one person who tells my about the thing in my teeth without sounding just a little bit superior. You're the best. You're the Best is a thank-you note to female friends, the women we call when the best things in our lives happen—or the worst. Written by two generations of Satellite Sisters, this beautifully packaged hardcover book explores how we rely on our friends to get us up, get us going, get us through, and, most importantly, get us laughing. It makes a superb gift for friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and granddaughters.The Satellite Sisters—Julie, Liz, Sheila, Monica, and Lian Dolan—are five sisters who believe that a sense of connection is what gives meaning to our lives. The Dolan sisters created Satellite Sisters first as a nationwide radio show and website. Now, the Satellite Sisters connect with a blog, a podcast, books, personal appearances, and social media; joining them regularly are their cadre of twenty-something nieces. After winning twelve Gracie Allen Awards for excellence in women's media, they still have plenty more to say.

    Two daughters born behind the dark walls thrust into the arms of the wrong mothers – one mother the Master’s wife, the other a slave of poverty, Dora. Phoebe and Claretta, the workhouse babies, switched at birth and thrust into an uncertain future. As the years unfurl, destiny sends the young ladies in different directions, but their hearts are bound. One runs, the other seeks. One haunted by fears, the other reaching for a faith and a future. Both longing for love. Their stories are woven into a lifelong saga that will keep you reading to the heart-rending end. Will Phoebe discover her roots and finally find peace? Will Claretta’s past prevent her opening her heart to the arms of the man she has grown to love? Two ladies forged in an unlikely sisterhood. The men who seek to love them. The long journey from workhouse to a world filled with deepest tragedy and soaring joy. This is the story of Dora’s workhouse child - a historical Victorian romantic saga. If you like Dilly Court and Rosie Goodwin, you will love reading, Dora's Workhouse Child.