She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    A really good joke, like a great poem, memorable song lyric, razor-sharp anecdote, or Zen koan, is a portal of discovery—it can get a meaningful message across in a way that’s clear, humorous, and practical. It’s the secret weapon of every great comedian—there’s the joke, and then there’s the subtext of the joke, and that can mean serious business. A funny, funny joke about a therapist and his patient conveys, for example, an important lesson on the power of communication. A surprising joke about a tribal shaman and the weather service turns into a necessary critique on how we should view experts.

    Nonsense poems in French, when pronounced, sound like English nursery rhymes, such as Humpty Dumpty and Jack Sprat.

    With laws getting stricter by the day and making it more and more difficult to properly protect your personal information, you need the most up-to-date information and tools available and that's what you will find in Incognito Toolkit! Don't let snoopers, investigators, and scammers look over your shoulder or track you while you work and play on the internet! Learn about the tools that will help you use the internet anonymously, privately, and securely to protect assets, avoid social stigmas, and make you safer. This book is full of information that large corporations, scammers, and nosy governments don't want you to find! You won't find a collection of techniques and creative methods like this anywhere else! Covered in Incognito Toolkit: - Making truly anonymous online purchases - Shortcomings of Bitcoin - Encrypting communications - Encryption for online file storage solutions - Locking down and monitoring your hardware - Browser Fingerprinting - Using TOR and VPNs - Creative Text and File Steganography Techniques - Critical Techniques for Publishing Anonymously - Cleaning photo and video metadata - Dealing with tracking cookies Updated December 4th, 2013 with new information about credit card skimmers, TOR hardware devices, and more! Scroll up and click the "Look Inside" feature on the top left hand side of the page!

    Julian Berrendero's victory in the 1941 Vuelta a Espana was an extraordinary exercise in sporting redemption: the Spanish cyclist had just spent 18 months in Franco's concentration camps, punishment for expressing Republican sympathies during the civil war. Seventy nine years later, perennially over-ambitious cyclo-adventurer Tim Moore developed a fascination with Berrendero's story, and having borrowed an old road bike with the great man's name plastered all over it, set off to retrace the 4,409km route of his 1941 triumph - in the midst of a global pandemic. What follows is a tale of brutal heat and lonely roads, of glory, humiliation, and then a bit more humiliation. Along the way Tim recounts the civil war's still-vivid tragedies, and finds the gregarious but impressively responsible locals torn between welcoming their nation's only foreign visitor, and bundling him and his filthy bike into a vat of antiviral gel.'Bill Bryson on two wheels' Independent

    Traveling from the '60s to the '90s, it showcases the cheapest, the tackiest, and the mechanically inept, including cars made by companies like Porsche and BMW that put them to shame. There's also the blobby Merkur Scorpio, the ungainly Rolls-Royce Camargue, the squarish Maserati Biturbo, and the (ironically) flammable Renault Fuego. Each photo spread is accompanied by a short, hilarious critique by Richard Porter, a crap car expert, who sees straight through all the pimped-out bodywork to the true lemon that lies underneath.Crap Cars is the perfect gift for anyone who loves cars or the casualties of bad taste, or for that special someone who misses their own beloved, long-gone piece of crap.

    If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids, and he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old's crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade "gifts" and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance!Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.

    Never one to be shy of the spotlight, Dusty broke the mould as the first female entertainer to publicly admit she was bisexual, and was famously deported from South Africa for refusing to play to segregated audiences during apartheid in 1964, just a year after the launch of her solo career. Combining brand-new material, meticulous research and frank interviews with friends, lovers, employees and confidants, journalist Karen Bartlett reveals sensational new details about the soul diva’s unconventional upbringing, tumultuous relationships and unbridled addictions, including a lifelong struggle to come to terms with her sexuality. Named one of the Sunday Times’s best musical biographies of 2014, this is the intimate portrait of an immensely complicated and talented woman – the definitive account of one of music’s most legendary figures.

    The records that talk about him are quite conflicting as they often are with mythical and historical figures. This book will do it's best and take a closer look to his origins, family and his notable exploits. We will also catch a glimpse into the possibilities of his demeanor and behavior without moving away from the fact that he is one of the most ruthless men to ever invade England in the 9th century. It is our hope that you'll enjoy this book and learn many new and exciting things about Ivar the Boneless!

     This collection of stories recalls outrageous tales of criminals running from the police, patients arriving in the ER with one foot over the threshold of death's door, stupid ways patients have injured themselves, and a variety of recollections of patients penetrating themselves with household objects. But not every case is funny. Some of the stories recounted are filled with crippling grief, can offer a glimpse of the fear ER workers feel, and detail that sometimes nurses and doctors simply can't win against the power fighting against them. 'But I Came by Ambulance!' is a perfect read for a lazy afternoon, when you're stuck inside due to the weather, or when you're in between caring for the same types of patients described within these pages.

    For years, Walter has striven to impose his family values – stairs must be regularly washed, noise kept down, and wheelie bins moved back and forth at the correct times. When Walter is found murdered, there are plenty of suspects among his ungrateful neighbours. Comic book dealer Billy Briggs is estranged from his daughter, with his business in ruins, and Tony Miller is jobless and facing eviction, all because of Walter. Henrietta Quayle, bullied and belittled by the dead man, conceals a murderous obsession beneath her timid exterior. And alcoholic solicitor Gus Mackinnon has even more reason to hate Walter than anyone else. As Close Quarters takes a look back over the years at the various turbulent relationships between Walter and his neighbours, one thing becomes clear: although only one may be the murderer, none of them will mourn his passing.

    He lives with his wife in Rialto, CA. Writer David Duron is a writer and longtime television-news producer who lives in Yucaipa, CA.

    Learn them fast and learn them well. Have you always wanted to learn to build your own website but are afraid it'll be too difficult for you? Or perhaps you are a blogger who wants to tweak your blog's design, without having to spend money on an expensive theme. This book is for you. You no longer have to waste your time and money learning HTML and CSS from lengthy books, expensive online courses or complicated tutorials. What this book offers... HTML and CSS for Beginners Complex concepts are broken down into simple steps to ensure that you can easily master the two languages even if you have never coded before. Carefully Chosen Examples (with images) Examples are carefully chosen to illustrate all concepts. In addition, images are provided whenever necessary so that you can immediately see the visual effects of various CSS properties. Learn The Languages Fast Concepts are presented in a "to-the-point" style to cater to the busy individual. With this book, you can learn HTML and CSS in just one day and start coding immediately. How is this book different... The best way to learn programming is by doing. End-of-Chapter Exercises Each CSS chapter comes with an end-of-chapter exercise where you get to practice the different CSS properties covered in the chapter and see first hand how different CSS values affect the design of the website. Bonus Project The book also includes a bonus project that requires the application of all the HTML and CSS concepts taught previously. Working through the project will not only give you an immense sense of achievement, it’ll also help you see how the various concepts tie together. Are you ready to dip your toes into the exciting world of web development? This book is for you. Click the BUY button and download it now. What you'll learn: - What is CSS and HTML? - What software do you need to write and run CSS codes? - What are HTML tags and elements? - What are the commonly used HTML tags and how to use them? - What are HTML IDs and Classes? - What is the basic CSS syntax? - What are CSS selectors? - What are pseudo classes and pseudo elements? - How to apply CSS rules to your website and what is the order of precedence? - What is the CSS box model? - How to position and float your CSS boxes - How to hide HTML content - How to change the background of CSS boxes - How to use the CSS color property to change colors - How to modify text and font of a website - How to create navigation bars - How to create gorgeous looking tables to display your data .. and more... Click the BUY button and download the book now to start learning HTML and CSS now. Learn them fast and learn them well. Tags: ------------ CSS, HTML5, web development, web page design, CSS examples, CSS tutorials, CSS coding, CSS for Dummies

    Your mother bashed her car yesterday and chooses to believe it was not her fault...'Roger Mortimer's witty dressing-downs and affectionate advice were not only directed at his wayward son, Lupin. Though better behaved than her mischievous older brother, Louise (aka 'Lumpy') still caused her father to reach for his typewriter.The trials and tribulations of Louise's days at boarding school, her eventful wedding to Hot¬Hand-Henry and the birth of his grandchildren are all accompanied by a sometimes chiding, but always loving letter.Between these milestones, Roger gives updates on the family, pets and the local gossip, holds forth on the weather, road safety, and even suggests the best way to make a gravy soup, all in his own inimitable style.With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made Dear Lupin a bestseller, Roger Mortimer guides and supports his daughter through every scrape she found herself in. Hilarious and instantly familiar, Dear Lumpy is a perfect example of the glorious art of letter writing, and the timeless relationship between father and daughter.

    It's great for decoding your favorite pulp fiction or noir classic.