The other is a winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Together, they form the League of Comic Justice, battling evildoers in the name of . . . Okay, we made that line up. What they do form is a writing team of pure comic genius, and they will have you laughing like idiots.Philip Horkman is a happy man-the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really bad day. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, terrorists, subversives, bears, and a man dressed as Chuck E. Cheese.Where that all takes them you can't begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration and mayhem. But what else would you expect from the League of Comic Justice?

    Over time, the objects became bigger: remote controls, shoes, empty pizza boxes. And then cat owners everywhere were sucked into the Internet phenomenon that is defined by a simple motto: stuff + cats = awesome. From Stuffonmycat.com (the amazingly popular website that redefines hilarious and that was named one of the coolest sites of the year by Yahoo! And GQ magazine) comes Stuff On My Cat: The Book. Culled from the thousands of outrageous photographs submitted by mischievous animal lovers, here are 200 of the most unbelievably entertaining images of cats with all manner of things on them: wigs, Easter eggs, dogs, cheeseburgers, cookware, gummi bears, action figures, tiaras, beer cans, pinecones, a statue of the Buddha, and much more. An introduction by the site's creator explains the Stuff on My Cat philosophy, and playful illustrations and graphics are sprinkled throughout. Just try to keep a straight face.

    Will your mother-in-law present you with yet another hideous jersey this year? How are you going to cope with Granny's peke or the undesirable in-laws? Has the row about where to spend the holiday already started, and it's only August?Jilly Cooper has the answer to everything. Whether you should seek refuge in the cooking sherry or suggest a wholesome family walk, Jilly offers, in her own irrepressible style, sound but often hilarious advice about how to get through the roller-coaster ride we call Christmas.With the help of the perfect Christmas family - Scarlett O'Aga, the Xmasochistic housewife, her wayward husband Noel, his seductive mistress Ms Stress, their four delightful children Holly, Robin, Carol and Nicholas, and their dog Difficult Patch, we learn how to survive this most demanding of occasions.

    Modeled on the "casebooks" often used in freshman English classes at the time, The Pooh Perplex contains twelve essays written in different critical voices, complete with ridiculous footnotes, tongue-in-cheek "questions and study projects," and hilarious biographical notes on the contributors. This edition contains a new preface by the author that compares literary theory then and now and identifies some of the real-life critics who were spoofed in certain chapters.

    The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!

    Luke's dream is to set up on his own and find his place in the world. These things, however, are never quite straightforward.

    You'll never again have to worry about your dog acting out, feeling anxious or depressed--or ruining your brand-new rug--as you discover:* The simple secret of successful housebreaking--understanding your dog as a den dweller* Step-by-step programs tailored to both apartment dwellers and home owners, as well as to people who go to work, versus those who are home all day* Schedules for training puppies and (re)training adult dogs* How to identify your dog's natural behavioral rhythms--and use them to your advantage* How to cope with housebreaking lapses, marking territory, separation anxiety, and health problems* The power of praise and positive reinforcement, not punishmentIncluding sample schedules and timetables, and a list of related resources and websites, here is the essential, proven advice that will make training a pleasure, for both you and your dog.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

    Their funny bodies with their short little legs, floppy ears, and pleading eyes make Dachshunds irresistible even to people who claim to dislike small dogs. Also, Dachshunds are natural clowns. They can keep a room in stitches with their antics and coax one more dog cookie out of the strictest disciplinarian. In addition, Dachshunds are great with kids, love to play, and can be extremely affectionate. On the other hand, Dachshunds can sometimes be very willful and hard to train, often bark a lot, and can rival a Labrador Retrievers in their ability to dismantle your furniture. Is this playful and inquisitive breed the right dog for you and your family? Dachshunds For Dummies provides the answer to this and all your questions about getting, caring for and living with this unique breed. Life-long Dachshund fancier and leading pet journalist, Eve Adamson gets you up and running with what you need to know to:Find and communicate with reputable breeders Choose the right Dachshund for you Housebreak and socialize your new puppy Educate yourself and your dog Handle behavioral problems Participate in competitions In friendly, down-to-earth language, Eve provides insights into the Dachshund temperament and loads of sensible, easy-to-follow advice on everything a Dachshund owner should know--along with fun facts and Dachshund trivia, and tips on how to have a great time with your Dachshund. You'll discover how to:Decide on whether a male or female is right for you Find and choose your new friend and bring him or her home Understand how to communicate with your Dachshund Train your Dachshund Find a good trainer and attend classes Deal with emotional conflicts Feed and exercise your Dachshund Recognize, prevent and treat common health problems Have loyal friend for life The indispensable guide for you and your Dachshund, Dachshunds For Dummies is the only book you'll need to help you have the best possible experience with this plucky breed of dog.

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    They were young and in love, with a perfect little house and not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same.Marley quickly grew into a barreling, ninety-seven-pound streamroller of a Labrador retriever, a dog like no other. He crashed through screen doors, gouged through drywall, flung drool on guests, stole women's undergarments, and ate nearly everything he could get his mouth around, including couches and fine jewelry. Obedience school did no good—Marley was expelled. Neither did the tranquilizers the veterinarian prescribed for him with the admonishment, "Don't hesitate to use these."And yet Marley's heart was pure. Just as he joyfully refused any limits on his behavior, his love and loyalty were boundless, too. Marley shared the couple's joy at their first pregnancy, and their heartbreak over the miscarriage. He was there when babies finally arrived and when the screams of a seventeen-year-old stabbing victim pierced the night. Marley shut down a public beach and managed to land a role in a feature-length movie, always winning hearts as he made a mess of things. Through it all, he remained steadfast, a model of devotion, even when his family was at its wit's end. Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms.

    From the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated, this hilarious collection of quotes is sure to tickle the funny bone.

    Skeletor, He-Man's evil nemesis in the show, remains an icon of villainy for generations who grew up hearing his cackle.Now, for the first time, all of the diabolical wit and wisdom gleaned from Skeletor's unrelenting campaign to wreak havoc on the planet Eternia are collected into one practical, and practically hilarious, volume. This fully authorized, comical, and empowering guide places the evil Skeletor in a variety of troubling scenarios that will be familiar to any reader--from 'Family and Frenemies' to 'Career' and 'Downtime'--and asks the all-important question: What Would Skeletor Do? Combining words of devilish wisdom with appropriate (or inappropriate!) pictures from the original cartoons, this book lets Skeletor tell you how to handle any awkward situation with aplomb. With tongue planted very firmly in cheek, What Would Skeletor Do? is the perfect inspirational resource for pop-culture aficionados of all ages.

    Humans have proved this by worshipping them as gods since the days of Ancient Egypt. But despite their clear superiority, felines continue to be frustrated with humans' bizarre actions and incomprehensible desires — until now. In The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior, the great feline humanologist Professor F.L. Uffy advises cats on how to solve some of their most difficult human-related issues:• Chase away your human's romantic partners• Increase your food supply• And more!What does your cat REALLY think of you? The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior reveals all--even why you refuse to groom yourself with your tongue!

    Oh, the form it takes may vary-firestorm, earthquake, plague, new ice age, alien invasion, nuclear cloud, or the rise of our machines-but everyone who survives will be starting over at Square One. Your needs won't be that different from today's: food, shelter, work, finances, relationships, 24-hour cable.... But you'll have more raw materials to deal with. Apocalypse How is the humorous how-to-guide to living your best life possible (after the Apocalypse renders your current quality of life null and void.) Organized like a travel or lifestyle guide, the book tells you all you need to know in order to fend off zombies, forge for non-radioactive food, and make the most of your new dwelling (while ignoring the ash outline of its previous occupants on the far wall.)This handy volume includes such essential sections as: What to Expect When We're Exploding Before We Blow: Your Essential To-Hoard List Should You Stay or Should You Flee? Questionnaire Sex, Love, and Dating: What if You Are the Last Man on Earth? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Petty Tyrants The Apocalyptic Aptitude Test Apocalypse How is guaranteed to be of use in the world to come. It also makes a handy defense weapon if thrown, and firestarter if needed.