The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work


Eli J. Finkel - 2017
     The institution of marriage in America is struggling. But as Eli Finkel's most recent research reveals, the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. Still, the quality of the average marriage is in decline. This book reverse engineers the best marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--showing how any marriage can be better. Why do some celebrity marriages work and others don't? Finkel provides insight into the lives of household names such as Elizabeth Gilbert and Neil Strauss, as well as one marriage that delivered three Olympic gold medals in 2016. Finkel digs deeper with a sweeping historic overview showing that the primary function of marriage from 1776 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence. From 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. Nowadays, marriage is all about self-discovery, self-esteem, and personal growth. (Will your spouse give you that?) Ultimately, this much-needed book delivers practical advice for immediate action as well as long-term strategies: seven "love hacks" that take little time or reflection; four categories of how to channel greater levels of effort; and three ways of recalibrating the marriage so expectations match reality--and happiness can flourish.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts


Gary Chapman - 1990
    Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life? In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today. The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage


Willard F. Harley Jr. - 1986
    In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs. The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last fifteen years. This best-seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy. With today's soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley's insights are needed more than ever before.An unabridged recording of His Needs, Her Needs, the 15th anniversary edition, is now available as an audio book.

A Mind of Your Own: The Truth About Depression and How Women Can Heal Their Bodies to Reclaim Their Lives


Kelly Brogan - 2016
    It is a symptom.Recent years have seen a shocking increase in antidepressant use the world over, with 1 in 4 women starting their day with medication. These drugs have steadily become the panacea for everything from grief, irritability, panic attacks, to insomnia, PMS, and stress.  But the truth is, what women really need can’t be found at a pharmacy.According to Dr. Kelly Brogan, antidepressants not only overpromise and underdeliver, but their use may permanently disable the body’s self-healing potential. We need a new paradigm: The best way to heal the mind is to heal the whole body.In this groundbreaking, science-based and holistic approach, Dr. Brogan shatters the mythology conventional medicine has built around the causes and treatment of depression. Based on her expert interpretation of published medical findings, combined with years of experience from her clinical practice, Dr. Brogan illuminates the true cause of depression: it is not simply a chemical imbalance, but a lifestyle crisis that demands a reset. It is a signal that the interconnected systems in the body are out of balance – from blood sugar, to gut health, to thyroid function– and inflammation is at the root.A Mind of Your Own offers an achievable, step-by-step 30-day action plan—including powerful dietary interventions, targeted nutrient support, detoxification, sleep, and stress reframing techniques—women can use to heal their bodies, alleviate inflammation, and feel like themselves again without a single prescription.Bold, brave, and revolutionary, A Mind of Your Own takes readers on a journey of self-empowerment for radical transformation that goes far beyond symptom relief.

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband


David Finch - 2012
    Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband—no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility.Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don’t change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


John Gray - 1992
    Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!

Love Understood: The Science of Who, How and Why We Love


Laura Mucha - 2019
    These are incredibly frank, intimate, and illuminating conversations, and author Laura Mucha has used these rare and varied insights as a springboard from which to dive into the subject of love, scrutinizing it from all angles--scientific, psychological, emotional, and philosophical.Romantic love is something that poets and artists have been trying to explain and define for centuries, but it's still one of the most complicated and intimidating terrains to navigate--especially when you're directly involved. Psychologists see it as a basic human drive, yet most people are afraid to be open and honest about it, until now.Each chapter begins with a personal story from someone Laura has spoken with, and then goes on to explore the questions and themes that have arisen from the account, intertwining the opinions of other interviewees with the empirical findings and insights of academics. The interviews allow readers to connect with people of all backgrounds, cultures, and ages. Sometimes they'll empathize, sometimes they'll be challenged and at other times they'll find comfort.Love Understood combines academic theory with everyday experience, and is for anyone who is curious about how we, as humans, work when it comes to romantic love.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough


Lori Gottlieb - 2010
    So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in "The Atlantic" Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the "Today" show to "The Washington Post," which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to "Newsweek" and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where "Marry Him" comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, in "Marry Him" Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties. "Marry Him" is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

The Course of Love


Alain de Botton - 2016
    De Botton's essay "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person" (The New York Times, May 28, 2016), which draws from The Course of Love, was the #1 most emailed article for days.We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children—but no long-term relationship is as simple as "happily ever after." The Course of Love is a novel that explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain love, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. You experience, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy—an annotation and a guide to what we are reading.This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience—fictional, philosophical, psychological—that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love.

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship


Stan Tatkin - 2012
    Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.Strengthen your relationship by:Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12


Thomas W. Phelan - 1995
    Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to- follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behaviour with reason, patience, and compassion.

Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples


Harville Hendrix - 2005
    In this groundbreaking book, Dr Harville Hendrix shares with you what he has learned about the psychology of love during more than thirty years of working as a therapist and helps you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship. For this edition of his classic book, Dr Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have added a new introduction describing the powerful influence this book has had on so many people over the years. With its step-by-step programme, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT will help you create a loving, supportive and revitalized partnership.

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity


Peggy Orenstein - 2020
    It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls—steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity—which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word “hilarious” robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.

The Unspeakable Mind: Stories of Trauma and Healing from the Frontlines of PTSD Science


Shaili Jain - 2019
    With profound empathy and meticulous research, Shaili Jain, M.D.—a practicing psychiatrist and PTSD specialist at one of America’s top VA hospitals, trauma scientist at the National Center for PTSD, and a Stanford Professor—shines a long-overdue light on the PTSD epidemic affecting today’s fractured world.Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder goes far beyond the horrors of war and is an inescapable part of all our lives. At any given moment, more than six million Americans are suffering with PTSD. Dr. Jain’s groundbreaking work demonstrates the ways this disorder cuts to the heart of life, interfering with one’s capacity to love, create, and work—incapacity brought on by a complex interplay between biology, genetics, and environment. Beyond the struggles of individuals, PTSD has a tangible imprint on our cultures and societies around the world.Since 9/11 and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, there has been a huge growth in the science of PTSD, a body of evidence that continues to grow exponentially. With this new knowledge have come dramatic advances in the effective treatment of this condition. Jain draws on a decade of her own clinical innovation and research and argues for a paradigm shift in how PTSD should be approached in the new millennium. She highlights the myriads of ways PTSD care is being transformed to make it more accessible, acceptable, and available to sufferers via integrated care models, use of peer support programs, and technology. By identifying those among us who are most vulnerable to developing PTSD, cutting edge medical interventions that hold the promise of preventing the onset of PTSD are becoming more of a reality than ever before.Combining vividly recounted patient stories, interviews with some of the world’s top trauma scientists, and her professional expertise from working on the frontlines of PTSD, The Unspeakable Mind offers a textured portrait of this invisible illness that is unrivaled in scope and lays bare PTSD's roots, inner workings, and paths to healing. This book is essential reading for understanding how humans can recover from unspeakable trauma. The Unspeakable Mind stands as the definitive guide to PTSD and offers lasting hope to sufferers, their loved ones, and health care providers everywhere.

How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life


Heather Havrilesky - 2016
    Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.