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If You Didn't Want Grits, How Come You Ordered Breakfast? by Jake Vest
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Mrs Caldicot's Oyster Parade
Vernon Coleman - 2018
(The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.
Crazy True Tales - A funny book for adults: Anecdotes and hilarious true stories. For the coffee table, bathroom or as a conversation starter (Crazy True Stories and Anecdotes)
Adam Douglas - 2021
Adventures in Retirement: A hilarious journey into the unknown world of excess time, limited responsibilities and an uncertain future.
Lawrence Doyle - 2017
Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.
Booky Wook Collection
Russell Brand - 2014
The bloke can write. He rhapsodizes about heroin better than anyone since Jim Carroll. With the flick of his enviable pen, he can summarize childhood thus: ‘My very first utterance in life was not a single word, but a sentence. It was, ‘Don’t do that.’... Russell Brand has a compelling story." — New York Times Book ReviewThe gleeful and candid New York Times bestselling autobiography of addiction, recovery, and rise to fame from Russell Brand, star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and one of the biggest personalities in comedy today.Picking up where he left off in My Booky Wook, movie star and comedian Russell Brand details his rapid climb to fame and fortune in a shockingly candid, resolutely funny, and unbelievably electrifying tell-all: Booky Wook 2. Brand’s performances in Arthur, Get Him to the Greek, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall have earned him a place in fans’ hearts; now, with a drop of Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, a dash of Tommy Lee’s Dirt, and a spoonful of Nikki Sixx’s The Heroin Diaries, Brand goes all the way—exposing the mad genius behind the audacious comic we all know (or think we know) and love (or at least, lust).
Mother, was it worth it?
Tottie Limejuice - 2014
As her full-time carer, Tottie listened to daily recitations of her favourite saying: 'Mother, mother, it's a bugger, sell the pig and buy me out.” Catch up now with Tottie in the AM years – After Mother – as she starts her new life in the rural Livradois-Forez region of the Auvergne, living in Tottie's Grottage. Meet the local inhabitants, from exotic birds to colourful characters like the Bin Pickers, Library Lady and the Bowing Farmer. All are described with Tottie's familiar gently ironic humour. Discover the procedure behind the Frogification of Tottie, and if her bid for French nationality is successful. 'Mother Was It Worth It?' is the concluding part of the Sell the Pig series, which began with 'Sell the Pig' and 'Is That Billinge Lump?'
Tennis and the Masai
Nicholas Best - 1987
Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk
Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore Summary & Study Guide
BookRags - 2011
54 pages of summaries and analysis on Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.
THE INCIDENT BOX SET: A Sam Jameson Espionage and Suspense Thriller, Episodes 1-8
Lars Emmerich - 2014
Contains all 8 episodes of the international sensation THE INCIDENT, a Sam Jameson Serial Thriller. Where do you run when even the good guys want you dead? Special Agent Sam Jameson is having a bad week. People are trying to kill her.
That would be business as usual in the counterespionage world, except that it’s the good guys who have her in the crosshairs. Why are the DC Metro police trying to kidnap her? Do her bosses at Homeland want her in a body bag, too? And why does everyone she talks to seem to end up in the morgue? Will a ruthless mercenary, a hapless American traitor, and a dead man’s cryptic clue hold the key to Sam’s survival? As the noose tightens around her neck, Sam must uncover a brutal and deadly conspiracy before she becomes its next victim. Interview with author Lars Emmerich Q - So, what makes the Special Agent Sam Jameson series special? A - It's a mix of things, really. When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create something that mirrored exactly the kind of books I like to read. My top picks are usually espionage and private detective novels, any of the thousands of thrillers and mysteries best sellers, and, of course, books featuring classic pulp heroes. I also like heroes with problems and villains who are frighteningly human, maybe a little too much like us. The Sam Jameson books are a mix of these genres. The series focuses on the mystery and thriller / espionage genre overall, with a couple of themes borrowed from financial thrillers thrown in for good measure, a healthy dose of the stuff that makes political thrillers great, and a serial killer novel or two to keep things interesting. Why such a mixing of themes? Because life isn't monolithic and book genres are arbitrary. There's murder in spy novels and there's espionage in political conspiracy thrillers. Overall, the Sam Jameson series is designed to keep you turning the pages. I've done my best to make sure there's never a dull moment, and I think Sam's chutzpah and attitude makes for good entertainment. But I'm probably a little biased. Q - What order should I read the books in? A - I’ve written the series so you can read the books in any order, and all the story threads will tie up nicely by the time you're finished. The Incident is a standalone story, and it occurs before the Devolution series. If you do want to read them in order, I'd suggest the following sequence: - The Incident Season 1 - The Incident Season 2 - Devolution - Meltdown - Mindscrew - Balls Deep (A Peter Kittredge espionage and suspense thriller) Q - So, why should readers give these books a try? A - Because the Sam Jameson series is a fast, fun thrill-ride that never lets up! Each of the books has hit the top ten bestsellers list on Kindle for Women Sleuths, and each have been featured on Amazon's Thrillers 100 Must Reads list - which is no mean feat. Ultimately, readers who enjoy a blazing pace, characters with depth and distinctive voices, and a plot that twists and turns all the way to the end will enjoy this series.
You Could Do Damage
C. Monet - 2018
Big sister and guardian of her family, she is thrown to the world without a harness, no guidance, and no help. Dahlia is not afraid to get her hands dirty or do the unthinkable to make sure her and her sister aren't separated. Love is foreign and get it by any means reigns supreme for her. Raising her sister was her only concern, but as her sister Deja prepares to set sail on her own journey, Dahlia is forced to focus on picking up the pieces and finding her own way. What was supposed to be a favor for his little brother turns into so much more as Ty'Key spends time peeling back the layers of Dahlia Starks. Ty' Key Patterson is handsome, strong, and willing to suffer the catastrophe of any damage Dahlia brings his way as long as she is. Both alike in so many ways, they run into different situations that could not only damage them personally but damage a long-standing friendship. Will they be able to clean up the damage or crumble like ashes scattered amongst the rubbish?
Best Joke Book for Kids : Best Funny Jokes and Knock Knock Jokes( 200+ Jokes)
Peter MacDonald - 2013
Funny jokes, Knock Knock jokes, Kids Jokes.Jokes for Kids, Best Joke Book for Kids is styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate. That does not mean you go stiff on the kids, far from it. You want jokes that are funny, corny and have some substance. Usually the really good jokes will give even you the tickles.Kids jokes, with over 200 funny jokes, this will keep the kids, and adult laughing for some time.
The Top Insults: How to Win Any Argument...While Laughing!
Full Sea Books - 2013
“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.”
Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it.
“Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.”
Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like…
“I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!”
You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs!
“Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”
We're All A Mess, It's OK: A collection of funny essays and one-liners about the struggles of everyday life
Amy Lyle - 2018
It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.
Monkey Business
Landon Crutcher - 2016
Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.
The Road to Villa Page: A He Said/She Said Memoir of Buying Our Dream Home in France
Cynthia Royce - 2020
Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.