101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

    Ever since a devastating nuclear war, humanity has lived on spaceships far above Earth's radioactive surface. Now, one hundred juvenile delinquents -- considered expendable by society -- are being sent on a dangerous mission: to recolonize the planet. It could be their second chance at life...or it could be a suicide mission. CLARKE was arrested for treason, though she's haunted by the memory of what she really did. WELLS, the chancellor's son, came to Earth for the girl he loves -- but will she ever forgive him? Reckless BELLAMY fought his way onto the transport pod to protect his sister, the other half of the only pair of siblings in the universe. And GLASS managed to escape back onto the ship, only to find that life there is just as dangerous as she feared it would be on Earth. Confronted with a savage land and haunted by secrets from their pasts, the hundred must fight to survive. They were never meant to be heroes, but they may be mankind's last hope.

    Transmetropolitan combined black humor, political scandal, and moral ambiguity to look into the mind of gonzo journalist Spider Jerusalem and The City he inhabits. Aided by his embattled Editor and his two Filthy Assistants, Jerusalem blazes a path through a futuristic world of skyscrapers and technological wonders, dark alleys, and unspeakable depravity.Transmetropolitan: All Around The World is a lovingly crafted and designed tribute to a seminal work. Contributors include: Aaron Alexovich, Stephanie Buscema, Jim Calafiore, Stefano Caselli, Cliff Chiang, Richard C. Clark, Kevin Colden, Molly Crabapple, Camilla d’Errico, Kristian Donaldson, Ryan Dunlavey, Gary Erskine, Richard Friend, Dan Goldman, Cully Hamner, Lea Hernandez, Phil Hester, Rantz Hoseley, Matt Howarth, K Thor Jensen, Seth Kushner, Jonathan Luna, Milo Manara, John McCrea, Moritat, Dean Motter, Darick Robertson, Jimmie Robinson, Stuart Sayger, Tim Seeley, Fiona Staples, Bryan Talbot, Pete Woods, and many, many others.[text from http://cbldf.org/homepage/transmetrop... ]

    He grew up on Earth convinced he was the last of his kind. He was wrong. Superman, Supergirl, and the half-Kryptonian, half-human clone Superboy must now face their biggest threat: H'El on Earth.

    Even more exciting, each of these stories will spin off into a series of its own. Maggie Shayne’s CHRISTMAS BLUESA true believer returns the music to a lonesome drifter’s soul.Miranda’s Shayne’s FINDING CHRISTMASA small-town coffee shop owner melts a humbug hero’s wounded heart.River Shayne’s A HERO FOR HANNAHCan a woman in grave danger learn to trust one more time?Jessica Lewis’s THE SOLDIER’S CHRISTMAS BABYA lonely serviceman comes home for a holiday he’ll never forget.Grab a cup of eggnog, curl up near the tree, and fall in love with the holidays all over again!

    Alissa and Jordan raced to escape both the quarantine and the infection, but when it devoured the world there was nowhere left to run. Questioning their every choice, every thought, even their own sanity, they struggle to survive in the new world. A world that wants them dead.Nine years later Joss and Ryan live with the aftermath. With the undead and the gangs, the violence and the fear. But the worst is yet to come. An old threat has been building and now a war is brewing, one that will change everything they know.One that will bring the walls crashing down.

    To the media, he's a menace. To the Torino crime family, he's a possible million dollar payday. To Gwen Stacy, he's the subject of her latest school paper, and a way to become a reporter for the Daily Bugle. He's Peter Parker, the amazing Spider-Man.

    

    This collection contains all four books in the series.Partials: Humanity is all but extinguished after a war with Partials—engineered organic beings identical to humans—has decimated the population. Reduced to only tens of thousands by a weaponized virus to which only a fraction of humanity is immune, the survivors in North America have huddled together on Long Island. But sixteen-year-old Kira is determined to find a solution. As she tries desperately to save what is left of her race, she discovers that that the survival of both humans and Partials rests in her attempts to answer questions about the war's origin that she never knew to ask.Isolation: This digital novella takes us back to the front lines of this war, a time when mankind's ambition far outstripped its foresight. Heron, a newly trained Partial soldier who specializes in infiltration, is sent on a mission deep behind enemy lines. What she discovers there has far-reaching implications—not only for the Isolation War, but for Partials and humans alike long after this war is over.Fragments: After discovering the cure for RM, Kira Walker sets off on a terrifying journey into the ruins of postapocalyptic America and the darkest desires of her heart in order to uncover the means—and a reason—for humanity's survival.Ruins: Kira, Samm, and Marcus fight to prevent a final war between Partials and humans in the gripping final installment in the Partials Sequence. There is no avoiding it—the war to decide the fate of both humans and Partials is at hand. Both sides hold in their possession a weapon that could destroy the other, and Kira Walker has precious little time to prevent that from happening. She has one chance to save both species and the world with them, but it will only come at great personal cost.

    

    But then the magic began to fade and Elantris began to rot. And now its shattered citizens face domination by a powerful Imperium motivated by dogged religious views. Can a young Princess unite the people of Elantris, rediscover the lost magic and lead a rebellion against the imperial zealots? THE EMPEROR'S SOUL - Shai is a Forger, a foreigner who can flawlessly copy and re-create any item by rewriting its history with skillful magic. Though condemned to death after trying to steal the emperor's sceptre, she is given one opportunity to save herself. Despite the fact that her skill as a Forger is considered an abomination by her captors, Shai will attempt to create a new soul for the emperor, who is almost dead from the attack of assassins. Skillfully deducing the machinations of her captors, Shai needs a perfect plan to escape. The fate of the empire lies in one impossible task. Is it possible to create a forgery of a soul so convincing that it is better than the soul itself? WARBREAKER is the story of two sisters, who happen to be princesses, the God King one of them has to marry, a lesser god, and an immortal trying to undo the mistakes he made hundreds of years ago. Theirs is a world in which those who die in glory return as gods to live confined to a pantheon in Hallandren's capital city. A world transformed by BioChromatic magic, a power based on an essence known as breath. Using magic is arduous: breath can only be collected one unit at a time from individual people. But the rewards are great: by using breath and drawing upon the color in everyday objects, all manner of miracles and mischief can be performed.

    Louis suburb and starts a devastating chain reaction. But the disabled power grid was only the beginning of a national nightmare as their vehicles and cell phones won’t function either. A series of building explosions rock downtown, leading to a mandatory evacuation. Amid the chaos, the young couple must make a decision on where to go. A possible solution emerges when a self-proclaimed survivalist offers them refuge in his remote cabin far from the city and away from the chaos. But James and Marla soon discover that survival isn’t as clear as they think, and that escape can lead to dangers all its own.

    An elite group of vampires who must serve and protect their secret community – and uphold the… LAWS OF THE BLOODIn Los Angeles, the Enforcer Selim has been called upon to approve a hunt. Much time has passed since the vampires of the city have last tasted fresh blood, and they are clamoring for the kill. It’s Selim’s job to keep them under control – and there are those who resent his authority.He must not waver or show weakness when he gives the Law – his life and the life of his mortal love, Siri, depend on his strength. But a whispered rumor is distracting him, a rumor of betrayal, of a violation of the most sacred of the Laws: Never reveal the truth about your own kind… THE HUNT

    Ten years after the apocalypse destroyed the world that she knew, a survivor returns to her home town, hoping to piece together the bits of her past that have troubled her so much ever since.Sometimes the past is best left behind us, but sometimes we all need to say goodbye."At last, goodbye" is a short story set in the world of the Diary of the Displaced novel series.

    In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Dirk finds himself on the trail of a gruesome murderer who is somehow involved with the works of Coleridge, quantum physics, and the enigmatic study of the Cambridge Professor of Chronology. Ultimately, the stakes of the case are far greater than a single murder, but go to the fate of life on Earth. Confused? Don't be - everything is connected.