The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You


Johnny B. Truant - 2012
    If you have a "next big thing" in mind you want to do because you know it will be awesome (starting the business, making the big move, launching the nonprofit, writing the book) but are afraid of doing what it would take to make that thing happen, then you should read this.The universe is very big. You are very small. In fact, you're so small and so insignificant in the big picture that you don't even register to the eye of the cosmos. The universe was here before you were born and will be here long after you're gone, and your life is but a blip on its vast, vast radar. If your life is to matter, it's not going to matter to the universe. It's up to you make your life matter in the only way you can: by doing things that make a difference to you, to those around you, and to those whose lives you touch. Time is short. You have exactly NOW to do whatever it is you're here to do, or to let the inexorable passage of hours and days and years kill your potential like fruit left to die on a vine. The universe doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t love you, either. You’re just an atom in its infinite workings. The universe doesn’t care if you live, die, suffer, or thrive. Whatever your life here will mean is up to you. Stop worrying so much about what others think and start being who you're supposed to be. It's time to do some epic shit.

True Detective Stories


Cleveland Moffett - 1897
    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today


The Gang - 2015
    Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

Awkward Family Photos


Mike Bender - 2010
    Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits--all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we're not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!

Books of Adam: The Blunder Years


Adam Ellis - 2013
    The professor loved it. Baffled by the praise his classmate receives, and intent on becoming an artist on his own terms, Adam plots his escape to Portland, Oregon to begin his life in the real world--only to realize that adulthood is a lot harder than it looks. Based on the blog of the same name, Book of Adam details Adam's hilarious trials and tribulations in his attempt to become a functioning member of society. From his arrest after shoplifting a bottle of chocolate milk to a misguided attempt to make friends that lands him in a shack with a hippie couple who have just skinned a rabbit and are trying to entice him into a three-some, Adam is an amicable guy who can't seem to keep himself out of trouble. Paired with his signature black and white illustrations, Adam's stories weave together an uproariously funny and ultimately charming narrative about a young man trying to find his place in the world.

The Teacher's Billionaire


Christina Tetreault - 2012
    Not only is her father alive, but he's none other than presidential candidate Senator Warren Sherbrooke. Billionaire and confirmed bachelor, Dylan Talbot, is devoted to his family. When his stepfather Warren Sherbrooke receives a letter from a past love telling him they have a daughter together, Dylan is instantly suspicious. In order to keep the media vultures away and protect Warren's political aspirations, Dylan convinces Warren to let him handle the situation. As Callie and Dylan spend time together, they can't resist the feelings that blossom between them. However, when Callie learns the real reason he has been spending time with her their fledgling romance is put in jeopardy and only complete honesty can save it.This is a Contemporary Romance. It contains love scenes. AN EDITED VERSION OF THIS BOOK WAS UPLOADED. HOWEVER, IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SOME READERS PURCHASED THE BOOK PRIOR TO THAT EVENT.

The Klondike Stampede


Tappan Adney - 1900
     When news of the discovery arrived in Seattle and San Francisco the following year it triggered one of the largest gold rushes in the history of North America. Tappan Adney, a young writer and photographer who worked for Harper’s Weekly, set out on a journey to uncover and record what it was like in the Klondike stampede. This book is a fascinating portrayal of adventurers and prospectors who descended on the Yukon during this extraordinary event in the late nineteenth century. Adney explains in vivid detail the treacherous route that these gold-hunters were forced to make in order to make it to the Yukon. The White and Chilkoot Passes were fatal for many who attempted to get through them with poor equipment. He stayed in Dawson, where the gold rush was centered, from October 2nd through to September 16th the following year. While there he interviewed men and women who hoped to make their fortune, observed the community that had seemingly sprung up overnight and records in detail how the prospectors searched for gold. “Of hundreds of gold rush accounts, his stands out as one of the best” The British Columbian Quarterly Tappan Adney was an artist, writer and photographer. He recorded the Klondike Gold Rush in his book The Klondike Stampede which was first published in 1900. He passed away in 1950.

Achtung Schweinehund!: A Boy's Own Story of Imaginary Combat


Harry Pearson - 2007
    Not real conflict but war as it has filtered down to generations of boys and men through toys, comics, games, and movies. Harry Pearson belongs to the great battalion of men who grew up playing with toy soldiers—refighting World War II—and then stopped growing up. Inspired by the photos of the gallant pilot uncles that decorated the wall above his father's model-making table, by toys such as Action Man (according to Pearson—not a doll) and board games such as Escape from Colditz, dressed in Clarks' commando shoes and with the Airfix Army in support, he battled in the fields and on the beaches, in his head and on the living room floor, and across his bedroom ceiling. And 30 years later he still is. This hilariously self-deprecating memoir is a celebration of those glory days, a boy's own story of the urge to play, to conquer, and to adopt very bad German accents, shouting "Donner und Blitzen!" at every opportunity. This is a tale of obsession, glue, and plastic kits. It is the story of one boy's imaginary war and where it led him.

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store


A.K. Turner - 2012
    This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child … and in-laws.

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed


The Onion - 2011
    Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

101 Secret Hiding Places | Hide What You Don't Want Found! (Survival Guide Series)


George Shepherd - 2015
    In other cases, whatever it is you’re intending to protect may be highly confidential information that requires increased security. A hollow book just won’t do. This book isn’t hollow; in it, we will discuss various hiding places, from the simple and straight forward to the complex – a place to hide your cash from your light-fingered roommate or a place where your family heirlooms may be safe from the most cunning of jewelry thieves. We will also look at secret hiding places specific to travel, as tourists are often a prime target for petty theft or burglary. The use of secret hiding places isn’t limited to hiding items of value; hiding places can also be used to conceal weapons. Carrying a weapon on your person at all times will allow you to defend yourself should the need arise, without provoking suspicion in your assailant or making those around you feel threatened. We’ll provide a few methods by which to hide both valuables and weapons on your person. Learn how to hide your treasures, items and documents securely: 1) In Your Home 2) On The Road 3) When You're Traveling 4) From Hackers/Cyber Thieves and more...

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction


Jon StewartScott Jacobson - 2004
    But what is American democracy? In America (The Book), Jon Stewart and The Daily Show writing staff offer their insights into our unique system of government, dissecting its institutions, explaining its history and processes, and exploring the reasons why concepts like one man, one vote, government by the people, and every vote counts have become such popular urban myths. Topics include: Ancient Rome: The First Republicans; The Founding Fathers: Young, Gifted, and White; The Media: Can it Be Stopped?; and more!

An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington


Karl Pilkington - 2010
    Given the choice, he'll go on vacation to Devon or Wales or, if pushed, eat English food on a package tour of the Mediterranean. So what happened when he was convinced by Gervais and Merchant to go on an epic adventure to see the Seven Wonders of the World? Does travel truly broaden the mind? Find out in Karl Pilkington's hilarious travel diaries.

Mercury Falls


Robert Kroese - 2009
    That is, until she meets Mercury, an anti-establishment angel who's frittering his time away whipping up batches of Rice Krispy Treats and perfecting his ping-pong backhand instead of doing his job: helping to orchestrate Armageddon. With the end near and angels and demons debating the finer political points of the Apocalypse, Christine and Mercury accidentally foil an attempt to assassinate one Karl Grissom, a thirty-seven-year-old film school dropout about to make his big break as the Antichrist. Now, to save the world, she must negotiate the byzantine bureaucracies of Heaven and Hell and convince the apathetic Mercury to take a stand, all the while putting up with the obnoxious mouth-breathing Antichrist.

The Sky Below


Scott Parazynski - 2017
    From dramatic, high-risk spacewalks to author Scott Parazynski’s death-defying quest to summit Mount Everest—his body ravaged by a career in space—readers will experience the life of an elite athlete, physician, and explorer.This intimate, compelling account offers a rare portrait of space exploration from the inside. A global nomad raised in the shadow of NASA’s Apollo missions, Parazynski never lost sight of his childhood dream to one day don a spacesuit and float outside the airlock. With deep passion, unbridled creativity, resilience, humility, and self-deprecation, Parazynski chases his dream of the ultimate adventure experience, again and again and again. In an era that transitioned from moon shots to the Space Shuttle, space station, and Mars research, Parazynski flies with John Glenn, tests jet packs, trains in Russia to become a cosmonaut, and flies five missions to outer space (including seven spacewalks) in his seventeen-year NASA career.An unparalleled, visceral opportunity to understand what it’s like to train for—and deploy to—a home in zero gravity, The Sky Below also portrays an astronaut’s engagement with the challenges of his life on Earth, including raising a beautiful autistic daughter and finding true love.