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Dead Ends: How to Survive the Afterlife Book 3 by Tony Moyle
The Warlock Enlarged
Its five continents and numerous small islands were covered with rain forest and inhabited by amphibians and hordes of insects—very much like Terra during its Carboniferous Era. One large island was noticeably different, however, It had been terraformed by human colonists centuries earlier…colonists who had abandoned technology in order to re-create the medieval/renaissance culture of Old Earth, right down to the belief in magic and witches. And on Gramarye, those beliefs were not merely archaic superstitions; they were facts of life.Rod Gallowglass, agent for the Society for the Conversion of Extraterrestrial Nascent Totalitarianisms (SCENT, for short), had sniffed out the Lost Colony—and been amazed to discover it was a communications gold mine: a segment of the population were genuine espers. No matter that, in this particular anachronistic setting, they were known as witches and warlocks; they were telepaths, and with their ability to communicate instantaneously, regardless of distance, they would be invaluable to the Decentralized Democratic Tribunal which had created SCENT.It was Rod’s job to steer them gently in the right direction…to see that Gramarye’s monarchy gradually evolved among democratic lines. And, aided by an old family retainer named Fess—an antique robot whose brain he had placed in a black steel horse’s body—the agent was doing quite well. He had earned the Crown’s respect and, in recognition of his “powers,” been awarded the title “High Warlock.” He had also married a beautiful, gifted witch, and together they had begun a family—strange as it was to raise children who were capable of levitation and telekinesis, among other adorable tricks.But if Gramarye had strategic value for the DDT, it was equally important to the opponents of democracy. With all of the technology at their command—resources unknown on Gramarye—and no scruples about using it to distort the colony’s natural development, Rod’s enemies had a powerful advantage. And their insidious attacks could take any form. How, for instance, was a space-age Warlock supposed to combat deadly, real-life bogeymen…?It’s fast-paced fun and adventure—three complete novels in one volume: King Kobold Revived, The Warlock Unlocked and The Warlock Enraged.
L.G. Estrella - 2017
The gods were supposed to preside over Creation with unmatched wisdom and knowledge. Well, that was the idea. But what is Death – a god of terrible majesty and splendour – supposed to do when his daughter asks for a pony? Is he really supposed to just go out and get a mortal one? Like that’s going to work. It’ll keel over and die in a couple of decades. No, his daughter deserves something better, a pony truly worthy of her divine heritage, which means he’s going to have to get a little bit creative. And then there’s Bureaucracy. The Supreme Mother and Supreme Father might have given rise to Creation, but Bureaucracy is the one who has to keep everything running smoothly. But that’s easier said than done when there are hundreds of gods and countless mortals to consider – none of whom understand the importance of filing paperwork in triplicate. Luckily, not even gods can escape the awesome power of divine paperwork. And let’s not forget gods like Mayhem, Mischief, and Rabble. Their names speak for themselves. When the three of them take a holiday in the mortal world at the same time, trouble is right around the corner. Divine Assistance is a collection of fourteen short stories about the gods and their attempts to manage Creation. There are souls to claim, mortals to woo, and even the occasional city to smite. After all, what’s life without a little divine assistance?
Jessica Christ Volume 1: The Early Years
H. Claire Taylor - 2017
Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…
Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves
Tyler Shaw - 2015
(Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"Angela, Amazon UK reader"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."Thelma Coots, Amazon reader"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"Isienie V., Amazon reader*****Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**
Finders Keepers: The Definitive Edition
Russ Colchamiro - 2010
When a jar containing the Universe's DNA falls from Eternity, bumbling backpackers Jason and Theo find their loyalties--and sanity!--put to the test. Unaware that a motley crew from another realm is chasing them across the globe to retrieve that radioactive vessel, these intrepid new friends are forced to contend with passion, responsibility, and their own mortality--and the fate of the Solar System, which hangs in the balance. Traversing Europe, New Zealand, and the backbone of Eternity, Finders Keepers: The Definitive Edition ultimately asks one simple question: Is the life you're living the life you actually want . . . or does the Universe have more to offer than you can possibly imagine?IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: The Definitive Edition of Finders Keepers has undergone significant changes from the original version. Consider the original as the Raw & Uncensored version (rated 'R')--which is no longer available-- while this new updated and revised Definitive Edition is 'PG-13'. Goodreads will not allow the two version to be listed separately, so please keep in mind that older reviews do not necessarily reflect the updated narrative, characters, language, and tone of the Definitive Edition.For more on why I wrote the Definitive Edition, and how it differs from the original, check out my blog here: https://russcolchamiro.com/2018/11/bo...
Cursed and Consulted
Rick Cook - 1991
Wiz defeated the evil sorcerers' league and won the love of the beautiful witch Moira.But now Wiz has new problems: a deadly curse, computer criminals from his own world, and the dragons, who are alarmed by his new-fangled spells. Fortunately, when it comes to spells and sorcery, nobody but nobody can beat a Silicon Valley computer geek!
Peter Empringham - 2011
When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…
Office Wars: The Mailroom Clerk
James G. Patton - 2017
He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar. While that was bad, he started to question whether Odditek was still in control, or had their complacency created the noose tightening around their neck. Bran was not yet aware of the choice before him. He could no longer stand back and watch, and he had to pick a side and fight before he lost the ability to choose. Would he recognize the inevitable in time? Was it possible to make a ‘correct’ choice, or had the lines blurred so much that hero and villain were indistinguishable? This novel is part of an Odditek series and is a LitRPG novel. I realize it’s the first Odditek series, but more are coming. This series started as a companion series to a book called Lantern Online. I wanted a way to build up the world as it now exists, and to explain what Odditek is. Neuroma and Nerves are mentioned in Lantern Online, and I felt all that information was taking away from my story and is mostly not relevant, but good to know information. I took a lot of it out and added it to this series. Anyway, out of that came Office Wars. I hope it's different than most LitRPG you will read, and brings another dimension to the genre. Explicit language! I will not lie, there is a satirical nature to this story, and a lot of the language and scenarios are morally questionable on purpose. In this story and I use a lot of curse words and controversial commentary. Just look on Facebook or any half a dozen social media sites, and you will see similar language, conversations, and other nonsense. If we all moved into a digital world, this is how I view that world.
C.M. Carney - 2018
But everything goes wrong from the start when Lex gets separated from Gryph during their transfer into the Realms. Lost, alone, and forced to live the same day over and over, Lex must defeat the agent of a despotic god, uncover hidden truths about himself, and find his way back to his friend. If he fails the Realms face destruction. Killing Time is a side quest novel that bridges the gap between The Realms Book One: Barrow King and the The Realms Book Two: The Lost City. It is a tale of adventure, mayhem, and loyalty, filled with crazy action, way too much stupidity and tons of laughs. The Realms - An Epic LitRPG Series. 1) Barrow King 2) Killing Time (A Side Quest) 3) The Lost City
Gene Doucette - 2017
But when Wilson takes an intense interest in Oliver's writing and his genre stories of dragons, aliens, and spies, things get weird. Oliver’s stories don’t just need to be finished: they insist on it. With the help of Minerva, Wilson’s girlfriend, Oliver has to find the connection between reality, fiction, the mythical Cydonian Kingdom, and the non-mythical nightclub called M Pallas. That is, if he can survive the alien invasion, the ghosts, and the fact that he thinks he might be in love with Minerva. Unfiction is a wild ride through the collision of science fiction, fantasy, thriller, horror and romance. It's what happens when one writer's fiction interferes with everyone's reality. Unfiction is the latest novel from Gene Doucette, the bestselling author of The Spaceship Next Door.
The Moon King
Neil Williamson - 2013
Life under the moon has always been so predictable: day follows night, wax phases to wane and, after the despair of every Darkday, a person’s mood soars to euphoria at Full. So it has been for five hundred years, ever since the Lunane captured the moon and tethered it to the city.Now, all that has changed. Amidst rumours of unsettling dreams and strange whispering children, society is disintegrating into unrest and violence. The very sea has turned against Glassholm and the island’s luck monkeys have gone wild, distributing new fates to all and sundry. Turmoil is coming.Three people find themselves at the eye of the storm: a former policeman investigating a series of macabre murders, an outsider artist embroiled in the murky intrigues of revolution, and a renegade engineer tasked with fixing the ancient machine at the city’s heart. Each must fulfil their role or see Glassholm shaken apart, while all are subject to the machinations of their inscrutable and eternal monarch, The Moon King.
Twelve-Winged Dark Seraphim - 2017
This mysterious space is called God’s Sanctuary, where lived numerous unknown creatures. Here, humans will make the greatest leap in their evolution to create the most glorious epoch in history. "Sacred-blood creature black beetle killed. Beast soul of sacred-blood black beetle gained. Eat the meat of sacred-blood black beetle to gain 0 to 10 geno points randomly."
Tantrics of Old
Krishnarjun Bhattacharya - 2014
In a world where death is sudden and quick in its tendency to not forgive, Adri must wade through threats new and old; political conspiracy, the demons of his past, a government that remembers, and above all, whispers of impending doom, the coming apocalypse, drums of the dead.
Stuff of Legends
Ian Gibson - 2010
But what does he do when all the fun is over? When an annoyingly eager young man by the name of Eliott, his Elvish guardian, and a bard-for-hire magically drop into the life of former hero Jordan the Red, the aged warrior wants nothing to do with them. He's had enough of battling the world. But Eliott wants an adventure with the legendary, sword-swinging soldier of fortune-and this hero is about to be forced out of retirement.