To the millions unable to get to their teams' games on Saturday afternoons, the next best thing is undoubtedly the pleasurable company of Jeff and the Sky Sports videprinter for a cozy marathon on the sofa. If someone's got to reveal that your beloved team have just gone 3�0 down away from home and had a man sent off, it's best if it's consummate professional Jeff who breaks the news to you. Avid Hartlepool fan Jeff knows our pain and shares our joy—but mostly he knows our pain. The long-time host of SkySports' iconic Soccer Saturday show has become a cult figure, universally admired for his encyclopedic knowledge of the game, his genuine and unlimited enthusiasm for all levels of soccer, and his wicked sense of humor which makes the six-hour long show simply whiz by. This deliciously chaotic, hugely entertaining, anecdote-ridden, humorous taste of life in the Soccer Saturday studio reveals what Jeff has to say about some of the show's legendary pundits over the years—ex-players such as George Best, Rodney Marsh, Chris Kamara, Charlie Nicholas, and Matt Le Tissier. Get the inside track on all those great one-liners: "Mansfield Town's Gareth Jellyman has been shown the red card for dissent. Looks like Jellyman's thrown a wobbly." "Darlington's equalizer has been scored by Guyain Ndumbu-Nsungu. Very much a case of local boy makes good." "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight." "James Brown's grabbed a second for Hartlepool. I feel good!" Jellyman's Thrown a Wobbly goes a long way to demonstrate how a six-hour long, studio-based show with no live action pictures and featuring men gazing into TV monitors which the viewer can't see, can hold a huge audience enthralled every Saturday afternoon between August and May.

    56 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore.

    Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:* If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too.* Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.* Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too.* When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.* A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.* Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.* If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before.* Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

    The smoke-spewing, banshee-wailing, fearsome black thing hisses like a thousand cobras... and the villagers declare that this Thing is an Iron Demon—a yakada yaka.The Burghers who drive these Iron Demons have a penchant for challenging authority and courting trouble, sometimes just to liven things up in the railway outposts... and so it is that Sonnaboy and Meerwald chase a large group of villagers all across Anuradhapura, mother-naked but not much bothered by it, Ben Godlieb conjures up a corpse in his cowcatcher, Dickie Byrd single-handedly demolishes a Pentecostal Mission and is hailed as the messiah of the Railway fraternity, and Basil Van der Smaght filches a human heart and feeds it to the Nawalapitiya railway staff ...and to cap it all, Sonnaboy takes French Leave to act in The Bridge on the River Kwai!

    And he has old newspapers stacked up to his ceiling because...well, who knows?

     With time a dwindling commodity, Frank decides it’s time to do something he wants to do. With a little encouragement from his oldest friend, Stan, the first destination for his ‘bucket-list’ is the Isle of Man TT Races. They were content to just spectate, but fate had other ideas.

    This is a journey which takes him across the world and back to a triumphant homecoming in Liverpool. But despite the laughs, the real journey in this tale takes him all the way - from a boy to a man.

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    . .Holly, Naomi and Kate are determined to win the battle of the bulge. So it's down to the local slimming club, where carbs are strictly off the menu and there's no escaping the scales. But calorie-counting isn't the only thing on their minds.Newly engaged Holly should be over the moon. So why does she blush every time her sexy boss walks into the room? Curvaceous Naomi finds herself the object of a very unusual fetish and a shocking secret is revealed when an unexpected visitor arrives on Kate's doorstep. Yet with a little group support (and a particularly brutal weight loss boot camp) the women manage to stick to their regime, in time for the glamorous Slimmer of the Year Awards. But with tempting buffet tables, highly competitive contestants and even the odd fat fetishist lurking, it's anyone's guess as to what will happen . . .

    But the stories end abruptly on the day Adele and her sister are orphaned, and they grow up with only each other to rely on. Adele finds work in an antiques shop but when a wrongful accusation robs her of her reputation, her future looks bleak. So it's not hard for Col Vincent, a successful businessman, to persuade Adele to marry him. Adele grows to love him - until she realises that her husband is a violent man. In the 1930s, a woman who leaves her husband faces penury. Somehow Adele survives, and then news comes that will transform her life, bringing back the haunting memory of the Lydgate Widow - and the man who has loved Adele for decades...

    It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    As he struggles to make a dent in the icy exterior of the townspeople he wonders if his efforts will be wasted--then he meets Matilda, and everything changes.From the moment they meet Danny finds himself entranced by her ambition, and Matilda is captured by his passion and determination. But life in Bear Creek is difficult for outsiders and despite the attraction, their blossoming romance could end in tragedy.How can Danny choose between the chance at love and his life's dream? Will Matilda lose her independence if she admits how she feels?Grace Cranfield dreams of freedom from high-society and the suitors her parents push onto her. When all seems lost, she finds a chance at hope when she spots an ad in the church from a Montana rancher looking for a wife.Left alone after the sudden deaths of his brothers, Malcolm Wilson longs for someone to help build a new life from the rubble of his old one. Grace is charming and kind, and as sparks fly she finds herself on a train speeding towards a new home, but also a world like nothing she's ever known.Will Grace be able to find a place in this new world and discover who she truly is? More importantly, will she survive long enough to get the chance?All Mayme Ruble wants is to feel like she belongs. When she comes across an ad from a farmer looking for a wife, she feels a glimmer of hope--a chance to start over and maybe even find love.Thomas Harris has spent most of his life running his farm, and now it's time for him to marry. Mayme's kind, honest response strikes a chord with him and there is instant chemistry. She leaves her hometown with tentative optimism that a new chapter in her life is about to begin.Despite Thomas' warmth and the welcoming townspeople, Mayme struggles to shed her self-consciousness. All seems well, until disaster strikes in Bear Creek and Mayme is forced to make a decision: will she step up and be the woman she hopes to become? Or will she lose this chance at happiness once and for all?When Rachel Maxwell discovers that her home - and her hand in marriage - have been sold to notorious poker player, Salis Dangerfield, her world is thrown into turmoil. Despite the stories swirling around town, Rachel has no plans to give in easily.Salis is a ruthless businessman and highroller. But right now, he's just a man in search of a safe haven. Faced with distrust from both his wife and the locals, it seems as though he and his young sister will never find their footing in Bear Creek.Rachel soon discovers the kind man behind the facade and Salis thinks he may have finally found the peace he's been looking for.Will Salis be able to overcome his demons? Can he and Rachel find a way to be together even when the whole world is against them?In Bear Creek Brides: Books 9-12, you will discover four captivating stories of vulnerability, danger, and determination as these four brides navigate peril and heartache to hold onto the chance for true love.

    Anyone wanting to know what it was like to live there, only had to read a small wooden sign on the outskirts of town: “Welcome to Killen…a little piece of Heaven.” Those words rang true for most of Killen’s first 200 years. But there was one exception. It was the time that Killen lived up to its name and a little piece of heaven...became...a little piece of hell. When Thomas Dalton was 13-years-old, a string of murders in a North Georgia received unwanted national attention. With the passing of time, facts got distorted, turning Killen into a macabre tourist destination. But for Thomas, it became personal when his own parents, suddenly disappeared and were subsequently declared dead. He goes to school to become an investigative reporter and gets a job at a national cable television station. Thomas then is assigned to a national case tracking down a serial killer. What Thomas doesn’t realize is the serial killer he is looking for, will not only solve a national mystery it will also solve his own mystery. Throughout Thomas’s journey he is driven to find out who killed his parents. But he also desperately wants to restore the reputation of Killen and rebuild the family business.The only question that remains is…can he make Killen a little piece of heaven once again?

    This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.