Like, for example, it’s not nine months, it’s ten long months. We are three thirty-something women who were fortunate enough to be pregnant at the same time. We shared our questions, fears, humor, and experiences through emails, which became our lifeline and virtual support group. Here, we share the good, the bad, and the ugly of our experiences. We do not hold back for the squeamish or the faint of heart—you need the truth, and now!We are all social workers with graduate education, and we have all worked in the obstetrical units of hospitals for many years. Along the way, we thought it might be helpful to have someone sane weigh in on our hormonal ramblings, so we asked Dr. Bob, a specialist in high-risk pregnancies to help us out. But, we know that all of this experience is nothing like being pregnant yourself!So prop up your cankles, rest this book upon your shelf of a belly, and check out our email log. We made it through the entire experience and lived to tell the tale—and you will too.*Winner of Mom's Choice Award

    Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr's humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog's rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him--like why it's fun to play Kissy Boy with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a sunborn, and how awesome it is to get a rainbow belt in karate.Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.

    He has played to sold-out venues across North America, Europe, South Africa and Australia. He has sold more than six million DVDs, Forbes has ranked him in their Celebrity 100 list of most powerful entertainers for two years running, and he has been the top touring comedian in the United States for the last two years. Whether he's breathing life into an old curmudgeon, an over- caffeinated purple maniac, or a screaming, skeletal, dead terrorist, Jeff Dunham is the straight man to some of the funniest partners in show business. All by My Selves is the story of one pretty ordinary guy, one interesting hobby, one very understanding set of parents, and a long and winding rode to becoming America's favorite comedian. With wit, honesty, and lots of great show business detail, Jeff shares all the major moments in his journey. From the toy dummy he spotted at a toy store when he was 8 years old to playing to arenas filled with screaming fans, Jeff takes readers behind the curtain to explain how he turned an old fashioned art form into something truly modern and hip. Best of all, Jeff's story is accompanied by asides and interruptions from his characters-who share all the hilarious details Jeff himself is too embarrassed to include.

    Read it and prepare for your next date."—James Van Praagh, New York Times bestselling author, Talking to Heaven "Every story is the truth and every truthful moment is a hilarious journey! It's as if you're listening to your best friend at a coffee shop and watching a stand—up take command of the stage. You won't be disappointed as you travel this refreshingly funny road of 'horrible dates!'"—Debra Wilson, actress/comedian, MADtv "Eddie's book is an emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from one horrible date and wondered, What the hell was that? This book is laugh–out–loud hilarious and extremely well written."—Chad Allen, writer, producer, actor, activist What I have to tell you in this book will seem almost unreal. But you are going to have to keep reminding yourself that these are actual real dates. For everyone who can empathize and knows what it's like to be on at lease one crappy date, this book is for you. For everyone who wants that dinner back or sat through a boring, horrible movie only to determine that the person you were with was a complete and utter tsunami, this book is for you. For everyone else, buckle your seat belt and turn off your phone, because a massive car wreck is about to begin.

    As a child, he rooted for conventionally good characters like wide-eyed Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. But as Klosterman aged, his alliances shifted—first to Han Solo and then to Darth Vader. Vader was a hero who consciously embraced evil; Vader wanted to be bad. But what, exactly, was that supposed to mean? When we classify someone as a bad person, what are we really saying (and why are we so obsessed with saying it)? In I Wear the Black Hat, Klosterman questions the very nature of how modern people understand the culture of villainy. What was so Machiavellian about Machiavelli? Why don’t we see Batman the same way we see Bernhard Goetz? Who’s more worthy of our vitriol—Bill Clinton or Don Henley? What was O.J. Simpson’s second-worst decision? And why is Klosterman still obsessed with some kid he knew for one week in 1985?Masterfully blending cultural analysis with self-interrogation and limitless imagination, I Wear the Black Hat delivers perceptive observations on the complexity of the anti-hero (seemingly the only kind of hero America still creates). I Wear the Black Hat is the rare example of serious criticism that’s instantly accessible and really, really funny. Klosterman is the only writer doing whatever it is he’s doing.

    Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where's the good stuff, the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don t tell you about pregnancy the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    When the festival director picked them up at the airport she asked Mike if he would perform at the storytelling night. She said, "The theme of the stories is jealousy."Jen quipped, "You're jealous of Oona. You should talk about that." And so Mike began sharing some of his darkest and funniest thoughts about the decision to have a child. Jen and Mike revealed to each other their sides of what had gone down during Jen's pregnancy and that first year with their child. Over the next couple years, these stories evolved into a Broadway show, and the more Mike performed it the more he heard how it resonated -- not just with parents but also people who resist all kinds of change. So he pored over his journals, dug deeper, and created this book: The New One: Painfully True Stories From a Reluctant Dad. Along with hilarious and poignant stories he has never shared before, these pages are sprinkled with poetry Jen wrote as she navigated the same rocky shores of new parenthood.So here it is. This book is an experiment -- sort of like a family.

    From his perch as a staff writer at The New Yorker, Cuppy observed the world and found a great deal that annoyed him. This collection of essays on animals includes "Birds Who Can't Even Fly," "Optional Insects," "Octopuses and Those Things", and "How to Swat a Fly," which codifies the essentials in ten hilarious principles. And three essays on wombats. Perfect reading for the perplexed, befuddled, and perpetually irritated.

    Helpful and full of creative inspiration, this #1 bestseller gives you all the best ways to find your favorites and decide on the perfect fit. The Most Names, Most Lists, Most Help to Find the Best Name: More Names AND Richer Definitions The Most (600+) Creative Lists to Inspire You The Most Idea-Sparking Celebrity Baby Names The Most Popular-and Unique-Names The Newest Trends, Including What Makes the Perfect Name More than 600 Fun Lists to Help You Choose, Including: Intellectual, creative names from literature and the arts Strong, respected names from sports and politics Unique, under-the-radar names that hit the right notesPacked full of more than 100,001 baby names with origins, variations, and richer definitions, The Complete Book of Baby Names makes choosing your baby's name a joyful act of love. Everything You Need ... The most up-to-date list of popular names - plus top twin names Selecting sibling names that make sense for your family Great gender-neutral names - plus the top 61 names Adding a middle name - or two 18 essentials in choosing the perfect name... And what not to name your baby All the top baby boy and baby girl names Plus all the best variations and nicknamesAll You Need in One Complete Book MORE PRAISE FOR THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BABY NAMES:"The Complete Book of Baby Names is a great resource if you are naming a baby, and, it's also an interesting read. Busy Girl has been using it to inform all her friends what their names mean.Most importantly, though, it covers what NOT to name your baby. I'll let you check that one out yourself." BusyMom.net"Since this is my third child, I've been through my share of baby name books, about 2 a pregnancy. This one I found as my favorite, not just the first few chapters but the list of names are wonderful and broken not just into boy and girl categories but lists of popular names by country, twin names and hordes of other lists. You'll be amazed, as I was." snowboundintheyukon.blogspot.com"If you're going to choose one baby name book and get the most bang for your buck, this is a good one to go with. It's more complete and helpful than any other single book I've seen out there and short of turning it into an OED-style multi-volume set, I'm not sure there's much more the author Lesley Bolton could pack in." daringyoungmom.com"The Complete Book of Baby Names is so fun too. It isn't just a list of names - it is like a course in baby-naming With chapters on baby-naming history, naming trends, the attributes of a perfect name, middles names, etc. as well as 276 fun name lists like popular names in different countries, and bizarre lists such as the names of models, First Ladies, Reality TV Stars and more, this book could keep me going until I deliver " 5minutesformom.com"We've seen a lot of baby name books in our time, some good, and some not so good. This one's a good one...It has the big list, so that you can look up the definitions of the names that you're considering. But, it also teaches you how to pick a really great name for your little bundle of joy... So, if you just want definitions, this book's got those. If you just don't know what name you want, or if you're scared of choosing the wrong name, this book can help." thefamilylog.com

    I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. —from the IntroductionActual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you." Now with 16 Pages of Photos and a New Introduction

    Doctors recommend it. Reviewers praise it. Pregnant couples rely on it. With over 70 new topics covered, and completely updated throughout to keep up with trends, new products, and safety recommendations, this comprehensive, authoritative, and easy-to-use guide includes:• Detailed descriptions of baby’s developmental milestones each week• Clear illustrations of how both mother and baby are changing and growing• Up-to-date information about medical tests and procedures• Tips on nutrition and lifestyle and the ways actions affect baby• Safe weekly exercises to help mother stay in shape and comfortable• Helpful hints for the father-to-be and information on how a pregnancy affects a couple

    This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child … and in-laws.

    She met midlife agita not head-on, but ass-on, fulfilling a childhood curiosity about donkeys by answering a for-sale ad for a Large White Saddle Donkey in the American Donkey and Mule Society's magazine, The Brayer. Hilarity ensues, alongside life-threatening injuries and spirit-enriching insight. As listeners walk with Winslow and Caleb the donkey through training traumas, expert-baffling antics, and humiliating races, they also share in the author's gradual understanding of Caleb's true, undeniable gifts: a willingness to speak truth to power, to trust, and to forgive. Winslow incorporates these lessons into her life, and as Caleb and Winslow learn to thrive, listeners not only cheer them on but also learn a thing or three about being true to their own pure and powerful self.

    This collection presents the best of Reilly: unforgettable sporting moments, favorite columns, and unpublished pieces.

    For Brett Paesel and her friends, Friday happy hour is all they get--if they can wrangle a babysitter. Like most mommies, they support each other through pregnancies, sleep deprivation, and the need to talk about it all. Instead of meeting at the playground, they convene at the local watering hole while sipping Black and Tans and flirting with the cute bartender. With a poignant voice and a fresh style that makes this memoir read like the best women's fiction, Paesel navigates mommyhood in all its forms--the ecstatic, the terrifying, the tedious, the hilarious, the transcendental, and the sticky. Paesel's laugh-out-loud perspective will appeal to all women who are braving the new world of motherhood, where the secret question on their minds at playgroup is "When is it too early in the day to start drinking?"