Your mother buys you baby clothes. But who can give you the real skinny when you’re pregnant? Your girlfriends, of course—at least, the ones who’ve been through the exhilaration and exhaustion, the agony and ecstasy of pregnancy. Four-time delivery room veteran Vicki Iovine talks to you the way only a best friend can—in the book that will go the whole nine months for every mother-to-be. In this revised and updated edition, get the lowdown on all those little things that are too strange or embarrassing to ask, practical tips, and hilarious takes on everything pregnant. What really happens to your body—from morning sickness and gas to eating everything in sight—and what it’s like to go from being a babe to having one. The Many Moods of Pregnancy—why you’re so irritable/distracted/tired/lightheaded (or at least more than usual). Staying Stylish—You may be pregnant, but you can still be the fashionista you’ve always been (or at least you don’t have to look like a walking beachball)—wearing the hippest designers and proudly showing off your bump. Pregnancy is Down To a Science—from in vitro fertilization to scheduled c-sections, there are so many options, alternatives, and scientific tests to take that being pregnant can be downright confusing! And much more! For a reassuring voice or just a few good belly laughs, turn to this straight-talking guide on what to really expect when you’re expecting.

    Hilarious, wise, and full of empathy, The Diaper Diaries helps new mothers maintain the one thing they can't survive without-a sense of humor. Cynthia Copeland, a mother of three, knows the real poop—figuratively and literally—on being a new mother, and she has the wit, skill, and generosity to share it. Illustrated throughout with the author's wonderful cartoons, The Diaper Diaries chronicles the first year of motherhood, from the hospital stay (nominees for the world's worst labor coach anyone?) to baby's first birthday and contemplating the unimaginable—having another. There are lists, quizzes, timelines, charts, and real-life stories. Birth announcement faux pas. Names and nicknames and what they really mean. Pacifier tales. A guide to Nana-speak. How a 4-mile car trip can take 2 hours. Why it's impossible to get to work without finding spit-up or rice cereal somewhere on your clothing. Ten reasons to be happy you're up at 3:15 a.m. And, with Mr. Phrenology-like illustrations, a section on the new mother's brain before and after baby, featuring: The Travel Section (Then: How to flirt your way into first class. Now: How to sweet talk your jogging stroller onto the plane), And The Sex Section (Then: Exact location of G-spot. Now: ________).

    Certain to keep readers laughing even as they are nodding over the truth of the portrayals, there are glimpses of oneself or someone you know around every turn.

    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

    Moms are everywhere; they've even taken over Blogging. Hundreds of blogs about how Fluffy got his first tooth, or Muffy said a new word. It's enough to make people want to vomit sugar.I've been told that i'm not your typical mom, and my blog is not your typical blog; I've even been called the "Eminem of Mommy Blogging”, honest, blunt, and usually vulgar. This book is my experiences and stories as I ventured through the Mommy Blogging world, trying to make light of some disgusting situations, and it wasn't always pretty. I had to learn the hard way that blatant honesty may not always be the best policy... not if you want to keep your kids."Musings of a 20-something Mom" is a lesson on how NOT to blog, unless you want to piss off your friends, family, and get a pack of crazies chasing after you; and a reminder that when it comes to parenting, there's always going to be someone out there saying "you're doing it wrong!"

    Here they return with a frank, yet encouraging look at marriage post-tots. They set out to discover if parenthood has to be incompatible with conjugal blissand if so, how to change that. To find out, they spoke to hundreds of mothers (and quite a few fathers). I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper examines the challenges of modern parenthood for married couples today and it extends a loving hand so that mothers can step out of the madness, make the most of what they have, and learn to love their marriages as much as they love their husbands and kids.

    Four years later, she wrote the book she wished she’d had as a new mother of twins.Double Time is an entertaining, up-close and very personal look at Jane Roper's first three years raising twin daughters.From trying to get pregnant to processing the idea of twins, from round the clock feedings and diaper changes to the joy of watching “twinteractions” between her girls as their (very different!) personalities emerge, Jane tells all. Meanwhile, she struggles to keep a history of depression under control—and find answers when her symptoms get worse. All this while falling steadily in love with her duo as they grow from sleepy newborns to mischievous toddlers with a penchant for potty talk.Full of warmth, honesty, occasional advice, and more than a little humor, Double Time is a smart and engaging account of the first three years with multiples, as well as a refreshingly candid and vulnerable look at parenting, clinical depression, and the quest for work-family balance. It’s Jane Roper’s story, but it’s one that will resonate with countless women—especially those parenting in double time.

    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

    Now in the delightfully candid, outlandishly funny Waiting for Birdy, Newman charts the year she anticipated the birth of her second child while also coping with the realities of raising a toddler. As she navigates life with her existentially curious and heartbreakingly sweet three-year-old, and her doozy of a pregnancy, she lends her irresistibly unique voice to the secret thoughts and fears of parents everywhere. Filled with quirky warmth and razor-sharp wit, Waiting for Birdy captures the universal wonder, terror, humor, and tenderness of raising a family.

    But her new life as a stay-at-home mom knocks her for a loop in more ways than one. From the embarrassment of being ticketed while driving in her bathrobe to the challenge of making friends in the land of big hair and minivans, Beckerman shares her struggles with self-deprecating humor as she endeavors to reclaim her cool.Beckerman reveals the universal trials, tribulations, and triumphs of every mom who has to figure out how to stay sane while fishing Barbie heads out of the toilet; how to laugh when your kid asks the fat cop at the doughnut shop if he’s having a baby; and how to look good when your post-baby butt is so big you want to hang a “Caution: Wide Load” sign behind you.At once irreverent, hilarious, and keenly observed, Lost in Suburbia is about what you give up to become a mother—and what you get back.

    And you’re not getting any more sleep.Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge.Chapters include:You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination.Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult.Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch.Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor.Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick.This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones.Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices.Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”

    Your secret can be a regret, fear, betrayal, desire, confession, or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything -- as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before. Be brief. Be legible. Be creative.It all began with an idea Frank Warren had for a community art project. He began handing out postcards to strangers and leaving them in public places -- asking people to write down a secret they had never told anyone and mail it to him, anonymously.The response was overwhelming. The secrets were both provocative and profound, and the cards themselves were works of art -- carefully and creatively constructed by hand. Addictively compelling, the cards reveal our deepest fears, desires, regrets, and obsessions. Frank calls them "graphic haiku," beautiful, elegant, and small in structure but powerfully emotional.As Frank began posting the cards on his website, PostSecret took on a life of its own, becoming much more than a simple art project. It has grown into a global phenomenon, exposing our individual aspirations, fantasies, and frailties -- our common humanity.Every day dozens of postcards still make their way to Frank, with postmarks from around the world, touching on every aspect of human experience. This extraordinary collection brings together the most powerful, personal, and beautifully intimate secrets Frank Warren has received -- and brilliantly illuminates that human emotions can be unique and universal at the same time.

    Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure.The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride.Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.

    Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)