But one brave act on Halloween makes Oscar a Grade-A hero, proving that a little wiener can be a real winner!

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    What won't this old lady swallow? This time around, a bat, an owl, a cat, a ghost, a goblin, some bones, and a wizard are all on the menu! This Halloween-themed twist on the classic "little old lady" books will delight and entertain all brave readers who dare to read it!

    She’s a little spooky. She’s a little cobwebby. Oh, no! What if she’s haunted? She’s not sure, but…her hinges creak. Her pipes bang. And on windy days, the branches scritch-scratch at her windows. She tries to hold her breath and be as still as possible. If she’s on her best behavior, maybe a family will move in. How will House ever find a family that doesn’t mind being haunted?

    Full color.

    and the gang from the My Weird School series are ready for one of their favorite holidays! It’s Halloween, and you know what that means! Candy! Costumes! More candy! What would happen if a kid ate a million hundred pounds of chocolate in one night? One thing’s for sure—when A.J. and his friends from Ella Mentry School go trick-or-treating, it will be a Halloween to remember. Bestselling author Dan Gutman brings his wacky, kid-friendly sense of humor to this all-new series of holiday adventures. With hilarious illustrations by Jim Paillot, plus My Weird School trivia and Halloween-themed games, facts, and puzzles, this is one weird Halloween special you don’t want to miss!

    Once upon a time, there was a little old lady who was not afraid of anything! But one autumn night, while walking in the woods, the little old lady heard...clomp, clomp, shake, shake, clap, clap.And the little old lady who was not afraid of anything had the scare of her life! With bouncy refrains and classic art, this timeless Halloween story is perfect for reading aloud.

    From the moment her positive test result is revealed in a fog of canine flatulence, to the day she's gently hoisted onto the delivery table by a front-end loader, Paige guides you through her pregnancy with twins, careful to only hold one of your hands in case you need to cover your eyes with the other. You'll laugh out loud as she recounts the horrors of birthing class, her struggles with morning sickness, sexy Halloween costumes, applying for maternity leave - and of course, the impossible task of corralling those wayward cankles - all in her own inimitable style. This book is a must-read for any mother, or anyone who has a mother to whom they probably need to apologize.

    That's what she provides readers with in this humorous, insightful book on life after 40. With such chapters as "When Your Blood's Too Tired to Bleed" and "Roughage by Candlelight", readers will love it.

    It's hard for this young skeleton to just hang loose when he can't keep hold of himself. When he plays catch, his throwing arm literally takes a flyer. Eating lunch can be a real jaw-dropping occasion. How can he start school when he has so many screws loose? Luckily, Bonaparte hit the bone-anza when it came to his friends. Franky Stein, Black Widow, and Mummicula all have some boneheaded ideas to help pull him together. But will it be enough to boost his confidence and get him ready for the first day of school?

    Otherwise, he never would have gotten mixed up with the Reservoir Pups, the scrappy gang of boys who rule the streets in his new town. And he definitely wouldn’t have agreed to their initiation mission: to break into the hospital his mom works at. It’s just Eddie’s luck that he stumbles upon some twisted baby-snatchers on the way. And just when it seems like life can’t get any worse, he bumps into the leader of the Andytown Albinos, the most fearsome gang of all. . . .“Fast, fabulous fun . . . [an] excellent comic adventure. I loved the carefree, sheer enthusiasm of the writing and laughed aloud throughout. I’m delighted to report that it’s the first of a trilogy. Can’t wait for the next!”—The Bookseller (UK)From the Hardcover edition.

    This is a story about a lump of coal who can think, talk, and move itself around.Is there a more charming holiday tale to behold? Probably, but Lemony Snicket has not written one.

    But first, they must outwit the hungry monsters that stand in their way — by harnessing the power of hygiene! This delightful picture book will keep children enthralled while teaching healthy habits like washing their hands and brushing their teeth.” –BookbubDo you want to inspire healthy habits in your little one today?Do you want to empower your little one to be brave in a joyful way? Here’s an adorable rhyming read-aloud about hygiene and overcoming fears. Washing hands, brushing teeth, and practicing healthy habits daily have never been this fun!  It is bedtime when siblings Jack and Joy receive some unexpected visitors – a bunch of not-too-spooky monsters. Come and join Jack and Joy and find out what the monsters want and, more importantly, how the brave siblings are able to outwit them. With courage, proper hygiene, and a little sprinkle of magic…anything is possible! This playful and engaging children’s picture book delivers equal amounts of shivers and giggles. And with Lisa Ciccone’s wildly imaginative and whimsical illustrations, this might just become a new snuggle time favorite.Read this book together with your little one and delight in the magic of laughter and giggles – a wonderful shared experience for you and your little one to treasure for many years to come.Get your copy of this book Now and inspire your kids to be brave, to wash their hands, brush their teeth, and practice healthy habits starting Today.The Night the Monsters Came is:• Written with expressive rhymes and dialogues to capture young listeners’ attention and imagination.• Entertaining: The book is full of funny rhymes that are sure to elicit plenty of giggles.• Charmingly illustrated with playful characters and not-too-spooky monsters, brimming with expression and humor that small children will love.• An empowering rhyming story that relies on humor, wit, and courage to help kids overcome fear.• Written to encourage and inspire little ones to start and maintain healthy habits and proper hygiene as part of their routine.

    Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine you will recognise Mavis Turner.Set in the 1970s, But Can You Drink The Water? uses subtle observational humour with an underlying pathos to portray the upsets, hurt and changing family dynamics that emigration brings. (The story is based on a 13-part sitcom) ReviewWith a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer for the ABNA semi-finals.

    Then along came an even BIGGER monster who changed their minds. And all it took was two little words.In this playful tale from bestselling picture book author Patrick McDonnell, a very BIG monster shows three very BAD little monsters the power of boundless gratitude.