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Don't Fight With the Garden Hose and Other Lessons I've Learned Along the Way by Tom Harvey
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Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood: A Humorous Memoir
Tom Purcell - 2015
Librarian's Note: this is an alternate cover edition - ASIN: B009KWO32U“Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood” delivers 18 stories about: • 6th grade puppy love• A large wooden stereo console• The first David Cassidy shag haircut• A dog that ran away• The old photo box in our parents' hall closet• Reassessing my grandmother’s difficult life• Bike jumps that nearly killed us• Revenge on the sledding slopes• A child left behind at the drive-in theater• A toilet clogged with an apple core • And other misadventures common to the 70sI hope enjoy reliving your 1970s childhood memories as much as I enjoyed writing about my own.Tom PurcellTom@TomPurcell.comwww.TomPurcell.com
Stairlift to Heaven
Terry Ravenscroft - 2011
Although Stairlift to Heaven is written by an old age pensioner, non-coffin dodgers should not be put off by this. Everyone will be old someday, if they’re lucky, and there are valuable lessons in coping with old age to be learned here. Written by Terry Ravenscroft, former scriptwriter to Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Ken Dodd, Alas Smith and Jones and many more top comedians and television shows. Stairlift to Heaven has been likened by one reviewer to be ‘Like Last of the Summer Wine on cocaine’ This journal really will make people of any age laugh out loud.If you enjoyed reading Stairlift to Heaven I would really appreciate it if you were to recommended it to any of your friends who you think might like it.Terry Ravenscroft
Life & Laughing: My Story
Michael McIntyre - 2010
His debut stand-up DVD was the fastest selling of all time, only to be eclipsed by his second that sold over 1.4 million copies and was the 2009 Christmas number one. He hosts his own BAFTA nominated BBC1 series, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, and won the British Comedy Award for Best Live Stand-up in 2009 following his record breaking fifty-four date Arena tour.But how did he get there?Michael reveals all in his remarkably honest and hilarious autobiography Life and Laughing. His showbiz roots, his appalling attempts to attract the opposite sex, his fish-out-of-water move from public to state school and his astonishing journey from selling just one ticket at the Edinburgh Festival to selling half a million tickets on his last tour. Michael’s story is riveting, poignant, romantic and above all very, very funny.
I'm Just Sitting on a Fence
Dax Flame - 2014
But that may be misleading; there’s more to it than that.
It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays
Shane Dawson - 2016
Fans felt as though they knew him after devouring the New York Times, Publishers Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and Wall Street Journal bestseller. They were right… almost. In this new collection of original personal essays, Shane goes even deeper, sharing never-before-revealed stories from his life, giving readers a no-holds-barred look at moments both bizarre and relatable, from cult-like Christian after-school activities, dressing in drag, and losing his virginity, to hiring a psychic, clashes with celebrities, and coming to terms with his bisexuality. Every step of the way, Shane maintains his signature brand of humor, proving that even the toughest breaks can be funny when you learn to laugh at yourself. This is Let's Pretend This Never Happened and Running With Scissors for the millennial generation: an inspiring, intelligent, and brutally honest collection of true stories by a YouTube sensation-turned one of the freshest new voices out there.
Idiot
Laura Clery - 2019
She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described…Idiot. With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice.Oh, the places I've peed --High school Hammer time --My summer of (possibly too much) freedom --How to ignore a hundred red flags --The Damon inside --A spoonful of sugar --Look, Mom! I'm on TV! --New beginnings (but, like, for real) --Two apartments and a home --Maggie: cat --Walking through fear
Learn Me Good
John Pearson - 2006
He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers..."Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.Learn Me Good is Jack's hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike."I teach, therefore I am...poor!"
Things Go Wrong For Me: when life hands you lemons, add vodka
Rodney Lacroix - 2012
From his childhood, through the raising of his own kids, to his vasectomy and post-divorce world ... this book is more than just a culmination of outrageous stories woven into a cohesive narrative, it’s a testament for the "little guy."In this case, literally. Rodney is 5’3”. He’s very little. Almost tiny. Bank tellers offer him lollipops. He makes holiday money wearing green stockings and fake ears.But even though he’s small in stature, his stories and the laughs that accompany them are definitely BIG.There's no doubt, if you enjoy snorting milk through your nose, and you're drinking milk right now ... you're going to love this book.
Welcome to the United States of Anxiety: Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
Jen Lancaster - 2020
We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days?Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
No One Asked for This: Essays
Cazzie David - 2020
For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be alive too, David chronicles her life’s most chaotic moments with wit, bleak humor, and a mega-dose of self-awareness. In No One Asked for This, David provides readers with a singular but ultimately relatable tour through her mind, as she explores existential anxiety, family dynamics, and the utterly modern dilemma of having your breakup displayed on the Internet. With pitch-black humor resonant of her father, comedy legend Larry David, and topics that speak uniquely to generational malaise, No One Asked for This is the perfect companion for when you don’t really want a companion.Mean sister --Do not disturb --Ex dysmorphia --Almost pretty --Is everything gonna be fine? --Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: I --Why God is definitely real --Too full to fuck --So embarrassing --Love you to death --Insecurity when you're the new girlfriend --Environ-mental mom --Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: II --Shit-talking etiquette --My parasite --Privileged assistant --I got a cat for my anxiety --This essay doesn't pass the Bechdel test --Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: III --Moving out --Erase me --Thanksgiving
Grace's Guide: The Art of Pretending to Be a Grown-up
Grace Helbig - 2014
Well, maybe there are harder things in life…but being an adult is difficult! So Grace Helbig has written a guide that’s perfect for anyone who is faced with the daunting task of becoming an adult.Infused with her trademark saucy, sweet, and funny voice, Grace’s Guide is a tongue-in-cheek handbook for millennials, encompassing everything a young or new (or regular or old) adult needs to know, from surviving a breakup to recovering from a hangover. Beautifully illustrated and full-color, Grace’s Guide features interactive elements and exclusive stories from Grace’s own misadventures—like losing her virginity solely because her date took her to a Macaroni Grill—and many other hilarious lessons she learned the hard way.Amusing and unexpectedly educational, this refreshing and colorful guide proves that becoming an adult doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow up.
Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery
Rhett McLaughlin - 2017
Today, their daily YouTube talk show, Good Mythical Morning, is the most-watched daily talk show on the Internet, and nearly 12 million subscribers tune in to see the guys broadcast brainy trivia, wild experiments, and hilarious banter (not to mention the occasional cereal bath). Now the award-winning comedians are finally bringing their “Mythical” world to the printed page in their first book.A hilarious blend of autobiography, trivia, and advice, Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery will offer twenty ways to add “Mythicality” to your life, including:Eat Something That Scares YouMake a Bold Hair ChoiceInvent Something RidiculousSay “I Love You” Like It's Never Been SaidSpeak at Your Own FuneralThe goal of these offbeat prompts? To learn new things, laugh more often, and earn a few grown-up merit badges along the way. Heartfelt and completely original, this book will be the perfect gift for anyone looking for a fresh dose of humor and fun.
Love, Alice: My Life as a Honeymooner
Audrey Meadows - 1994
The book is full of many personal stories never told or published before. 16-page photo insert.
Trailer Trash, With a Girl's Name
Stacey Roberts - 2014
She gave him a girl's name-Stacey.But Stacey's name was just the first hurdle he'd face in his uphill climb from birth to manhood. He also had to deal with an entitled older brother, the hodgepodge of different men his mother was involved with, and the nomadic lifestyle he was forced to endure for five years. And to top it all off, his mother couldn't cook a decent meal to save her life."Trailer Trash, With a Girl's Name" is Stacey Roberts' lighthearted, often hilarious account of growing up in an unstable household during the 1980s. Full of humor, history, and hope, it follows Stacey from the hospital room where he was born to the Winnebago that carried him across the country, filling in the gaps with a wit and humor that anyone with a dysfunctional family can appreciate.So go ahead and start reading. Once you hop aboard the Winnebago with Stacey and his quirky family, you'll find that you're in for the ride or your life, where what you learn along the way is not only entertaining, but also enormously enriching.
This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store
A.K. Turner - 2012
This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child … and in-laws.