But does he know how to hide a dead body? Or cry with diginity? If not, this book's for him' COSMOPOLITAN, Book of the MonthA TOP GEAR magazine Book of the MonthPRODUCT DESCRIPTIONCall yourself a man? You do? Do you even know what a real man is? Are you a six-foot-one Adonis who wears all the latest fashions, moisturises regularly, visits spas for pleasure and never does anything wrong? Or do you drink twenty pints every Friday night, guzzle a kebab on the way home and then fart yourself to sleep? It's time to stop being the man everyone expects you to be and be the one you want to be.Learn how to:- Pick locks, safes and chastity belts- Disappear without a trace in 24 hours- Win a gun fight- Survive the wild- Ride a wall of death- Work a 4-hour week- Survive any crisis- Make things go boom- Drive cars sideways- Be a great dad…and, of course, drive a tank. Fast-paced and funny, this is the ultimate bible for the modern man.* A 'dangerous book for men' - how to embrace life to the full and how to be your own man * Top Gear meets 101 Things To Do Before You Die (Richard Horne)

    Their reserve is not a defense against the rest of the world: it is a protective cover, like the lid of a nuclear reactor. Rob joyCalvinism is still deeply ingrained in the Scottish soul. A Scottish poet, overcome by the joy of sunshine and blue sky, once cried out what a fine day it was. The woman to whom he spoke replied, “We'll pay for it, we'll pay for it.” Cunning and cleverThe Scots respect cleverness and like to feel that they possess plenty of it themselves. In Scotland there is nothing wrong with being clever, so long as you show it by words or actions, rather than by bragging. You don't have to hide it. To say of someone that “he has a good conceit of himself” is neither praise nor blame, just a statement of fact.

    Awful information about phabulous Pharoahs, mean mummies, revolting recipes for 3000 year old sweets, and more. History has never been so horrible! For 9-12 year olds.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Given the choice, he'll go on vacation to Devon or Wales or, if pushed, eat English food on a package tour of the Mediterranean. So what happened when he was convinced by Gervais and Merchant to go on an epic adventure to see the Seven Wonders of the World? Does travel truly broaden the mind? Find out in Karl Pilkington's hilarious travel diaries.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    •That brie smells funky.Ce brie sent putain de drôle.•I'm gonna get ripped!Je vais me fracasser!•I gotta piss.Je dois pisser.•The ref is fucking asshole.L'arbitre est un gros enaelé!•Wanna try doggy-style?Veux-tu faire l'amour en levrette?

    The laws in this book may be unusual, bizarre, absurd, stupid, or all of the above, but every one of them is real. Unlike some other books of this kind which the author could mention but won't, every law in this one has been verified. So if you've always wondered, for example, whether you are legally required to join a posse or what to do if your bees fly into somebody else's hive, you probably need to get out more but you will find the answers to those and many other ridiculous questions in this book.

    Englishman Charles Timoney was thrown into French life headfirst twenty-five years ago when he and his wife moved to native France. He had studied French in school, but his memory of vocabulary lists and verb-conjugation drills proved no match for day-to-day living and communicating with French coworkers. As he blundered towards fluency, he collected the idioms and phrases that no one ever taught him in a classroom and that wonderfully (sometimes wickedly) epitomized l’esprit francais. Pardon My French includes insider’s language tips for dining, shopping, understanding French slang, and more. Selections include: • Faire un canard, which literally means “to do a duck,”but also refers to dunking sugar lumps in coffee and is the preferred way to get a kick of sugar caffeine in France. • Tablette de chocloat, which literally means “chocolate bar,” but is also the term for a finely muscled male stomach in France. Since the English equivalent is a “six pack,” it’s a splendid example of how differently we see things! Packed throughout with whimsical cartoons and trivia (including the words to “La Marseillaise”), Pardon My French is a marvelous armchair trip abroad.

    Abundantly illustrated and containing a wide variety of exercises, Genki is sure to bring vigor to your classroom! Though primarily meant for use in college-level classes, it is also a good guide for independent learners and is a nice resource book for teachers of Japanese. Genki's authors teach at Kansai Gaidai University, which hosts the largest number of North American students spending their junior year in Japan.

    The examples use the language of real-life situations. This new edition also makes difficult topics, like the difference between mood and tense, even easier to understand. Numerous fill-in-the-blank and other exercises with delayed answers help cut down the time it takes readers to gain proficiency and confidence communicating in French.

    Covering such turning points as the little-known Celtic and Welsh influences on English, the impact of the Viking raids and the Norman Conquest, and the Germanic invasions that started it all during the fifth century ad, John McWhorter narrates this colorful evolution with vigor. Drawing on revolutionary genetic and linguistic research as well as a cache of remarkable trivia about the origins of English words and syntax patterns, Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue ultimately demonstrates the arbitrary, maddening nature of English--and its ironic simplicity due to its role as a streamlined lingua franca during the early formation of Britain. This is the book that language aficionados worldwide have been waiting for (and no, it's not a sin to end a sentence with a preposition).

    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

    Organized in thematic sections, That Book covers a world of learning by an author whos developed game shows (he was the creator of the first "fastest-finger" game-show quiz) and was one of the original contributors to the international editions of Trivial Pursuit. Want to know which U.S. president is a descendant of King Edward III? Or which famous people lived to read their own obituaries? That Book covers these inessential facts and more ...Not since Schotts Original Miscellany has there been such a delectable feast of useless information. That Book is an encyclopedia of honest-to-god facts from the bizarre to the mundane that will have you alternately shaking your head in wonder and holding your sides in laughter. Bathroom -- or bedside -- reading just doesnt get any better than this -- or That.

    Pure Drivel is a collection of pieces, most of them written for the New Yorker, that demonstrate Martin's playful way with words and his unerring ability to create a feeling of serendipitous improvisation even on the printed page. Here's a passage from a piece that announces a shortage of periods in the Times Roman font: "Most vulnerable are writers who work in short, choppy sentences," said a spokesperson for Times Roman, who continued, "We are trying to remedy the situation and have suggested alternatives, like umlauts, since we have plenty of umlauts--and, in fact, have more umlauts than we could possibly use in a lifetime! Don't forget, umlauts can really spice up a page with their delicate symmetry--resting often midway in a word, letters spilling on either side--and not only indicate the pronunciation of a word but also contribute to a writer's greater glory because they're fancy, not to mention that they even look like periods, indeed, are indistinguishable from periods, and will lead casual readers to believe that the article actually contains periods!" Although some of these pieces flirted with topicality when they first appeared, Martin is most successful when he leaves the real world behind and gives his wit free rein. This collection preserves the best (so far) of his glorious improvisations. --Simon Leake