Book picks similar to
When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life by Victoria Secunda
self-help
non-fiction
psychology
relationships
Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
Rachel Reiland - 2002
A mother, wife, and working professional, Reiland was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the age of 29—a diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. A truly riveting read with a hopeful message.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
David RichoDavid Richo - 2002
Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
Gavin de Becker - 1996
The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including how to act when approached by a stranger, when you should fear someone close to you, what to do if you are being stalked, how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls, the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person, and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
Losing Control, Finding Serenity
Daniel A. Miller - 2011
The rewards are unexpected and often exciting. Conflicts diminish. Family bonds strengthen. Intimate relations become more intimate. Creative horizons expand. Work becomes more rewarding. Losing Control, Finding Serenity provides practical strategies and decontrol tools to help you - Reduce the control triggers of fear, anger, and resentment - Make work less stressful and more profitable - Find lasting love and intimacy - Reduce the struggle with your children - Overcome procrastination and achieve your creative potential When you begin to accept life as it is, you will learn that losing control brings contentment to you -and those around you. Find out how losing control really means gaining control.
Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Herbert L. Gravitz - 1987
Authors and widely respected therapists and ACOA workshop leaders Herbert Gravitz and Julie Bowden detail in a clear question-and-answer format the challenges of control and inadequacy that ACOAs face as they struggle for recovery and understanding, stage-by-stage: Survival * Emergent Awareness * Core Issues * Transformations * Integration * Genesis. If you feel troubled by your post, Recovery will start you on the path of self-awareness, as it explores the searching questions adult children of alcoholics seek to hove answered: * How con I overcome my need for control? * Do all ACOAs ploy the some kind of roles in the family? * How do I overcome my fear of intimacy? * What is all-or-none functioning? * How can ACOAs maintain self-confidence and awareness after recovery? * How do ACOAs handle the family after understanding its influence? * And many other important questions about your post, family and feelings. Written with warmth, joy and real understanding, Recovery will inspire you to meet the challenges of the post and overcome the obstacles to your happiness.
The Art of Communicating
Thich Nhat Hanh - 2013
Most of us, however, have never been taught the fundamental skills of communication—or how to best represent our true selves. Effective communication is as important to our well-being and happiness as the food we put into our bodies. It can be either healthy (and nourishing) or toxic (and destructive).In this precise and practical guide, Zen master and Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh reveals how to listen mindfully and express your fullest and most authentic self. With examples from his work with couples, families, and international conflicts, The Art of Communicating helps us move beyond the perils and frustrations of misrepresentation and misunderstanding to learn the listening and speaking skills that will forever change how we experience and impact the world.
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
Megan Devine - 2017
Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
John M. Gottman - 1994
Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship.This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
Tara Schuster - 2020
By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help.Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love.” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to:• fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude• excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness• identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose• silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism• carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule• create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVEThis is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Sue Johnson - 2008
In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection
Robert Karen - 2001
Dr. Karen writes that our capacity to forgive reveals much about our character–including our ability to recognize the humanity in someone who has hurt us and to see our own limitations and complicity in whatever went wrong. He argues that the forgiving spirit not only liberates us from feeling victimized by others but frees us from compulsive self-hatred and regret as well: for forgiving others is nothing but the mirror image of forgiving oneself.Throughout Karen insists that we are not saints, that forgiveness is a struggle for everyone, and that we cannot be truly forgiving if we do not allow ourselves our negative emotions, especially anger. If our harshest feelings are suppressed, we can never move beyond them.Forgiveness sheds light on the envy, narcissism, and paranoia that threaten relationships; the childhood experiences that magnify those qualities; and, finally, the processes of mourning, healthy protest, and what he calls "the redeployment of love" that can help us to let go and move beyond them.
The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living
Nick Ortner - 2013
. . but you don’t know how to change? The Tapping Solution offers a new technique to deal with seemingly impossible situations. Tapping, also known as EFT, is a powerful tool for improving your life on multiple levels: mental, emotional, and physical. It has been proven to effectively address a range of issues—from anxiety, chronic pain, addiction, and fear, to weight control, financial abundance, stress relief, and so much more. It’s also one of the easiest and fastest practices to learn. You can learn it in minutes, do it anywhere and on virtually any issue, and oftentimes experience immediate results. How does it work? Based on the principles of both ancient acupressure and modern psychology, tapping concentrates on specific meridian endpoints while focusing on negative emotions or physical sensations. Combined with spoken word, tapping helps calm the nervous system to restore the balance of energy in the body and rewire the brain to respond in healthy ways. In this book, you’ll not only learn how to start tapping, you’ll also get the history and cutting-edge science behind it. Featuring step-by-step instructions, exercises, and diagrams, The Tapping Solution shows you how to tap on a variety of issues and identify practical applications. Plus, throughout the book, you’ll find unbelievable, real-life stories of healing, ranging from easing the pain of fibromyalgia to overcoming a fear of flying. Find out how to release your fears and clear the limiting beliefs that hold you back from creating the life you want.It’s time for . . . The Tapping Solution!
Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes
William Bridges - 2004
Since Transitions was first published, this supportive guide has helped hundreds of thousands of readers cope with these issues by providing an elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful roadmap of the transition process. With the understanding born of both personal and professional experience, William Bridges takes readers step by step through the three stages of any transition: The Ending, The Neutral Zone, and, eventually, The New Beginning. Bridges explains how each stage can be understood and embraced, leading to meaningful and productive movement into a hopeful future. With a new introduction highlighting how the advice in the book continues to apply and is perhaps even more relevant today, and a new chapter devoted to change in the workplace, Transitions will remain the essential guide for coping with the one constant in life: change.