One is the main course of dinner, another the porn star contracted to copulate in space for a reality TV show. They become futuristic ant farms, get knocked up by the star high school quarterback and have secret abortions, use parakeets to reverse amputations, make love to garden gnomes, go into air conditioning ducts to confront their mother’s ghost, and do so in settings that range from Hell to the local white-supremacist bowling alley.

    Lavery comes a collection of darkly mischievous stories based on classic fairy tales. Adapted from his beloved "Children's Stories Made Horrific" series, The Merry Spinster takes up the trademark wit that endeared Lavery to readers of both The Toast and his best-selling debut Texts from Jane Eyre. The feature become among the most popular on the site, with each entry bringing in tens of thousands of views, as the stories proved a perfect vehicle for Lavery’s eye for deconstruction and destabilization. Sinister and inviting, familiar and alien all at the same time, The Merry Spinster updates traditional children's stories and fairy tales with elements of psychological horror, emotional clarity, and a keen sense of feminist mischief.Readers of The Toast will instantly recognize Lavery's boisterous good humor and uber-nerd swagger: those new to Lavery's oeuvre will delight in his unique spin on fiction, where something a bit mischievous and unsettling is always at work just beneath the surface.Unfalteringly faithful to its beloved source material, The Merry Spinster also illuminates the unsuspected, and frequently, alarming emotional complexities at play in the stories we tell ourselves, and each other, as we tuck ourselves in for the night.Bedtime will never be the same.The daughter cells --The thankless child --Fear not: an incident log --The six boy-coffins --The rabbit --The merry spinster --The wedding party --Some of us had been threatening our friend Mr.Toad --Cast your bread upon the waters --The frog's princess --Good fences make good neighbors

    Ranging from love and death to faith restored and hope regained, these stories present a master at work, at the top of his form. Perfectly paced and brimming with passion, these twenty-two tales from a master storyteller of the Twentieth Century are translated by the award-winning Anthea Bell.Deluxe, clothbound edition.

     Whether white or black, living or dead, down home country or upscale urban, Gabriel’s characters are quirky, poignant and deep. They include: A Gullah woman using folk magic to cast her latest spell. A girl coming-of-age dealing with death in 1940s Tennessee. A wealthy Savannah matriarch with gastrointestinal issues guarding family secrets. A good ol’ boy observing himself shortly after his death. An agoraphobic woman striking up a unique friendship with the girl across the street. And a band of seventy-year-olds finding healing in a mountain stream. Written in the tradition of Flannery O’Connor and Eudora Welty, the eight short stories in Grace, Grits and Ghosts: Southern Short Stories are all rooted in the southern landscape—from the steamy coast of Georgia, to the current day Atlanta suburbs, to the ancient Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina. Pull up a rocker on the front porch, take a sip of your sweet iced tea and lose yourself in these original stories of soulful southerners and their sultry landscape.

    She kisses like a movie star and knows everything about every film ever made. She's also dead and waiting in the Rosebud Theater for Alec Sheldon one afternoon in 1945.... Arthur Roth is a lonely kid with big ideas and a gift for attracting abuse. It isn't easy to make friends when you're the only inflatable boy in town.... Francis is unhappy. Francis was human once, but that was then. Now he's an eight-foot-tall locust and everyone in Calliphora will tremble when they hear him sing....John Finney is locked in a basement that's stained with the blood of half a dozen other murdered children. In the cellar with him is an antique telephone, long since disconnected, but which rings at night with calls from the dead....The past isn't dead. It isn't even past...

    Especially when dead bodies keep ruining your romantic dinner plans. But fashion designer turned amateur sleuth Maddie Springer is determined that her husband's latest case, dubbed the "Sex Shop Murder", will not keep him from celebrating their first anniversary together, which just happens to fall on the most romantic of all holidays, Valentine's Day. She's ready to do whatever it takes to make this night special and distraction-free - even if it means solving his case herself!

    Unbreakable destiny. Ultimate sacrifice. One man will do anything to save what matters most. Kevin Connelly embarks on a quest to honor the memory of his grandfather, a war hero in a neighborhood without heroes, and rescue his twin siblings from mysterious aliens. His older brother, now the head of their orphaned family has other plans, requiring him to flee a contract with a powerful crime lord. Military enlistment might be the answer to his prayers or the beginning of his destruction. Ace and Amanda-Margaret Connelly learn firsthand the secret of the Siren doom when they are captured by a race of giants opposing their Siren masters. Nothing is what it seems. The human race will soon learn rebels are treacherous allies. Gunnery Sergeant Robert Priest, PhD, is dedicated to the 343rd Marauders despite the horror of Brookhaven and the damage done to his closest friends. Duty doesn't get easier when the Connelly family complicates his mission of vengeance and redemption. Bayonet Dawn is military science fiction packed with camaraderie, action, and a family saga to be remembered. The book strives to realize the best elements of classics in the genre: Starship Troopers, Battlestar Galactica, and Dune.

    A year earlier his managerial career had reached its nadir amid speculation he would be forced out of Old Trafford. He was taken to the limit over the Roy Keane scandal, his volatile relationship with the media, the political fallout of Malcolm Glazer's takeover and a miserable six-month run in which the team were humbled in Europe, embarrassed by the Conference side Burton Albion and barracked by their own fans. Ferguson, it is claimed, came close to quitting. But the great man has used his inimitable managing skills and bloody-minded determination to turn it around yet again and remind everyone he is still the most formidable manager in the business.Written over the course of two hugely eventful, diverse and controversial seasons, "This Is The One" offers a unique, warts-and-all portrait of Ferguson from a privileged behind-the-scenes position. As a football writer for the Guardian, Daniel Taylor has been there from day one and seen every side of Ferguson, from the flint-faced authoritarian to the kind, quick-witted man with the heart the size of the Old Trafford trophy room. Entertaining, revelatory, sometimes shocking but always affectionate, this is the close-up look at one of the most talked-about figures in sport, in good times and bad, and culminating in the glory of his ninth tittle win.

    Ranging from the 19th to the 20th centuries, writers include James Augustine Aloysius Joyce, Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald, Richard Edward Connell, Henri Nathaniel Hawthorne, Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, Jack London, Henri Ringgold Wilmer Lardner, Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Henri René Albert Guy de Maupassant and Edgar Allan Poe.

    With her own inexorable but utterly unpredictable logic and her almost uncanny ability to conjure the strange states of mind and emotion that constitute our daily consciousness, Eisenberg pulls us as if by gossamer threads through her characters—a tormented woman whose face determines her destiny; a group of film actors shocked to read a book about their past; a privileged young man who unexpectedly falls into a love affair with a human rights worker caught up in an all-consuming quest that he doesn't understand.In Eisenberg’s world, the forces of money, sex, and power cannot be escaped, and the force of history, whether confronted or denied, cannot be evaded. No one writes better about time, tragedy and grief, and the indifferent but beautiful universe around us.

    Clarke, Nancy Kress, Lawrence Watt-Evans, George Zebrowski, Philip K. Dick, and many more! Included are:OUT OF ALL THEM BRIGHT STARS, by Nancy KressTHE HANGING STRANGER, by Philip K. DickWALKING JOHN AND BIRD, by Neal AsherTHE SYMPHONIC ABDUCTION, by Hannes BokTHE NINE BILLION NAMES OF GOD, by Arthur C. ClarkeHILLARY ORBITS VENUS, by Pamela SargentMAYBE JUST A LITTLE ONE, by Reginald BretnorTHE ULTROOM ERROR, by Jerry SohlREMEMBRANCE OF THINGS TO COME, by Lawrence Watt-EvansTHE ASTRONAUT FROM WYOMING, by Adam-Troy Castro & Jerry OltionPRIDE, by Mary A. TurzilloCAT AND MOUSE, by Ralph WilliamsTHE RECORD, by Forrest J Ackerman and Ray BradburyTHE NEW REALITY, by Reginald BretnorWHAT HATH ME? by Henry KuttnerBRIDGE OF SILENCE, by George ZebrowskiSUN’S UP, by A.A. Jackson IV and Howard WaldropCONSIGNMENT, by Alan E. NourseTHE SYNDIC, by C.M. KornbluthAFTER BONESTELL, by Jay LakeTHE JEWELS OF APTOR, by Samuel R. DelanyTHE MISSISSIPPI SAUCER, by Frank Belknap LongMEMBERSHIP DRIVE, by Murray F. YacoCANCER WORLD, by Harry Warner, Jr.EGOCENTRIC ORBIT, by John CoryAnd don't forget to search this ebook store for more entries in the Megapack series, covering everything from science fiction and fantasy to horror, westerns, pulp fiction, adventure, ghost stories, and much, much more!

    In Boston, five magical bon-bons make an ordinary senator, an ordinary professor, an ordinary girl and her ordinary parents do the most extraordinary things! A young cowboy lassoes Father Time; the dummy in Mr. Floman's department store window comes to life; and a tiny beetle gives a New England farmer and his wife a pump which pumps not water, but gold!Author of the much-loved Oz books, L. Frank Baum transforms the familiar with his magical mix of humor and enchantment. Most of the twelve stories in this delightful collection are set in America where, so it seems, modern fairies, knooks, and ryls are always causing the most astonishing things to happen! These tales will enchant both young and old. When American Fairy Tales first appeared, Baum's reputation as a storyteller had already been established by The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written in 1900. The twelve stories in this collection were originally syndicated weekly in at least five newspapers during the first half of 1901. The first book edition, which this facsimile reprints, came out later that year.

    He wakes one morning to find himself charged with the brutal assault on a young woman who now lies comatose, unable to testify to his innocence. A fluke accident allows him to escape custody. Now on the run, he travels to the Lowcountry of South Carolina to find Doctor Emily Parker, the one person who can lead him to the real assailant. Standing in her way is the wealthy and powerful Harrington family, who will do anything, including committing murder, to keep her from the truth.

    When their hotel is attacked by gunmen they are forced to flee blindly with no phones, no ID, and no money. It gets worse when Dahl realizes his wife, two daughters and himself are being singled out and hunted down by a dangerous army that includes corrupt local authorities.As the chase continues through Barbados's darkening streets, aboard a pirate cruise ship, and amidst a festive carnival parade, Dahl realizes there are even deeper nightmares abroad tonight. The island's prime minister is under threat. The leader of one of the world's most violent drug cartels has arrived.And though instincts say run, hide, just survive, there is only one thing a man like Dahl will do when his wife and daughters come under direct threat.Stand His Ground.

    Chaon mines the psychological landscape of his characters to dazzling effect. Each story radiates with sharp humor, mystery, wonder, and startling compassion. Among the Missing lingers in the mind through its subtle grace and power of language.