Milk and Vine: Inspirational Quotes From Classic Vines
Adam Gasiewski - 2017
Milk and Vine is truly a delight for the sensations, bringing back the riveting quotes we all laughed at together as a united internet community. From Ms. Kiesha to diesel jeans, this book encapsulates the most entertaining, nostalgic vines that are sure to have you laughing again. Keep the fire of authentic comedy ablaze in your home, and purchase a copy of Milk and Vine today.
Animals Talking in All Caps: It's Just What It Sounds Like
Justin Valmassoi - 2013
A giraffe who might be violating his restraining order. An alpaca with a very dirty secret. A cat who’s really mad at you for cancelling Netflix instant. These are just a few of the hilariously human animals you’ll meet in Animals Talking in All Caps. Inspired by the wildly popular blog of the same name and including some of the site’s best-loved entries as well as gobs of never-before-seen material, these pages provide a brilliantly unhinged glimpse into the animal mind.
You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children
Dr. Seuss - 1986
Seuss creates a classic picture-book ode to aging in You're Only Old Once! On a visit to "the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair," readers will laugh with familiar horror at the poking and prodding and testing and ogling that go hand in hand with the dreaded appellation of "senior citizen." Though Dr. Seuss is known for his peerless work in books for children, this comical look at what it's like to get older is ideal for Seuss fans of advanced years. In his own words, this is "a book for obsolete children." A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, and holidays!
The Worrier's Guide to Life
Gemma Correll - 2015
For all you fellow agonizers, fretters, and nervous wrecks, this book is for you. Read it and weep...with laughter
Chicken Thoughts: Comics About Birds
Sarah Wymer - 2020
This delightful collection also includes a handful of never-before-seen comic strips! Readers of all ages have enjoyed Chicken Thoughts comics since they first flew onto the Internet in 2018.See the world through a parrot's eyes as Chicken the cockatiel & friends do bird things and think bird thoughts!
Really Important Stuff My Cat Has Taught Me
Cynthia L. Copeland - 2017
Cats are the ultimate savants, possessing intelligence, poise, and sass in equal measure. They know when to play it cool, and when to pounce; when to fly solo, and when to cuddle up. Entertaining, unpredictable, and just a bit wild, cats encourage us to explore, take chances, and live on the edge—just as if we too had nine lives. Cynthia L. Copeland, author of the bestselling Really Important Stuff My Dog Has Taught Me and Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me, now turns her attention to our mysterious feline friends. Every page of this full-color gift book is a joyful reminder of what’s important in life. Like Confidence: “Insist on a seat at the table.” Curiosity: “Have more questions than answers.” Adventure: “Sometimes you have to leap before you look.” Individuality: “You’ll be remembered for what sets you apart.” Kindness: “Recognize the power of your purr.” And Solitude: “Find your own square of sunshine.”
Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse
Henry N. Beard - 1994
Includes " Do Not Go Gentle to That Damned Vet" by Dylan Thomas's cat, " The Human" by Edgar Allan Poe's cat and other works. Poetry for Cats will prove as thrilling as a stiff shot of catnip. Color illustrations.
How to Survive a Horror Movie
Seth Grahame-Smith - 2007
Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.
Psych's Guide to Crime Fighting for the Totally Unqualified
Shawn Spencer - 2013
GET PSYCHED!You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover:How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies NightHow to convince your sidekick that he's really your partnerHow to pick up women at a crime sceneShawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacksGus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminalsUnsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third gradeThe ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.?Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle?New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy. . . and way more cool stuff.Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.
A Child's First Book of Trump
Michael Ian Black - 2016
Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump. Its fur so complex you might get enveloped. Its hands though are, sadly, underdeveloped. The Trump is a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now…political candidate? Kids (and let’s be honest many adults) might have difficulty discerning just what this thing that’s been dominating news coverage this election cycle is. Could he actually be real? Are those…words coming out of his mouth? Why are his hands so tiny? And perhaps most importantly, what on earth do you do when you encounter an American Trump? With his signature wit and a classic picture book style, comedian Michael Ian Black introduces those unfamiliar with the Americus Trumpus to his distinguishing features and his mystifying campaign for world domination…sorry…President of the United States.
Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals
Temple Grandin - 2009
Now she builds on those insights to show us how to give our animals the best and happiest life—on their terms, not ours.It’s usually easy to pinpoint the cause of physical pain in animals, but to know what is causing them emotional distress is much harder. rawing on the latest research and her own work,Grandin identifies the core emotional needs of animals. Then she explains how to fulfill them for dogs and cats, horses, farm animals, and zoo animals.Whether it’s how to make the healthiest environment for the dog you must leave alone most of the day, how to keep pigs from being bored, or how to know if the lion pacing in the zoo is miserable or just exercising, Grandin teaches us to challenge our assumptions about animal contentment and honor our bond with our fellow creatures.Animals Make Us Human is the culmination of almost thirty years of research, experimentation, and experience.This is essential reading for anyone who’s ever owned, cared for, or simply cared about an animal.
The Stinking: A Get Fuzzy Treasury
Darby Conley - 2012
In this microcosm of nerdy vegan Rob Wilco's apartment life abide his sociopathic cat Bucky and his guileless but often perceptive dog Satchel (and, yes, they are named after famed Negro Leagues baseball players). Their interactions and domestic repartee not only appeals to pet lovers but also to any cartoon fan who gets a kick out of the idiosyncrasies of life between any co-dwellers.Be afraid, be very afraid. Bucky B. Katt continues his reign of terror over his Get Fuzzy roommates, Satchel the pooch and Rob the human, in The Stinking. In addition to rants about his anticow crusade, Bucky also berates global warming as global stinking. Always on the defense against a monkey invasion, Bucky is armed with his own self-made arsenal of creative weaponry.It’s one strange and scary little household in the apartment that Rob, Bucky, and the lumpy canine Satchel share. Mild-mannered Rob can barely manage Bucky, who some might say is deranged, and Satchel, who usually ends up being the patsy. In this treasury, which includes all the cartoons from Masters of the Nonsenseverse and Survival of the Filthiest, Darby Conley once again morphs the human–pet relationship into one that humorously reminds us of our own weird human relationships.
In a Sunburned Country
Bill Bryson - 2000
His previous excursion along the Appalachian Trail resulted in the sublime national bestseller A Walk in the Woods. In A Sunburned Country is his report on what he found in an entirely different place: Australia, the country that doubles as a continent, and a place with the friendliest inhabitants, the hottest, driest weather, and the most peculiar and lethal wildlife to be found on the planet. The result is a deliciously funny, fact-filled, and adventurous performance by a writer who combines humor, wonder, and unflagging curiousity.Despite the fact that Australia harbors more things that can kill you in extremely nasty ways than anywhere else, including sharks, crocodiles, snakes, even riptides and deserts, Bill Bryson adores the place, and he takes his readers on a rollicking ride far beyond that beaten tourist path. Wherever he goes he finds Australians who are cheerful, extroverted, and unfailingly obliging, and these beaming products of land with clean, safe cities, cold beer, and constant sunshine fill the pages of this wonderful book. Australia is an immense and fortunate land, and it has found in Bill Bryson its perfect guide.
Dog on It
Spencer Quinn - 2009
Chet might have flunked out of police school ("I'd been the best leaper in K-9 class, which had led to all the trouble in a way I couldn't remember exactly, although blood was involved"), but he's a detective through and through.In this, their first adventure, Chet and Bernie investigate the disappearance of Madison, a teenage girl who may or may not have been kidnapped, but who has definitely gotten mixed up with some very unsavory characters. A well-behaved, gifted student, she didn't arrive home after school and her divorced mother is frantic. Bernie is quick to take the case-something about a cash flow problem that Chet's not all that clear about-and he's relieved, if vaguely suspicious, when Madison turns up unharmed with a story that doesn't add up. But when she disappears for a second time in a week, Bernie and Chet aren't taking any chances; they launch a full-blown investigation. Without a ransom demand, they're not convinced it's a kidnapping, but they are sure of one thing: something smells funny.Their search for clues takes them into the desert to biker bars and other exotic locals, with Chet's highly trained nose leading the way. Both Chet and Bernie bring their own special skills to the hunt, one that puts each of them in peril. But even as the bad guys try to turn the tables, this duo is nothing if not resourceful, and the result is an uncommonly satisfying adventure.With his doggy ways and his endearingly hardboiled voice, Chet is full of heart and occasionally prone to mischief. He is intensely loyal to Bernie, who, though distracted by issues that Chet has difficulty understanding-like divorce, child custody, and other peculiar human concerns-is enormously likable himself, in his flawed, all-too-human way.