Book picks similar to
Do Not Open! by Mark Parisi


humor
childrens
middle-grade
realistic-fiction

The Pudding Problem


Joe Berger - 2017
    Most of his lies are harmless; tall tales and the product of an overactive imagination. So when Sam is summoned to explain a strange discovery—a ping-pong ball in a jar of peanut butter—and denies involvement, no one believes him. Then more seemingly unrelated peculiarities emerge, and Sam categorically denies any knowledge of those, too. In between these mysterious accusations, and with evidence mounting against him, Sam ruminates on the different sorts of lies he has told using examples from his past. Meanwhile, two pounds of potatoes wind up in the washing machine. Sam comes to a decision: he decides it is time to come clean about this latest tangled web. He gathers his family to hear the truth. The whole truth. Or is it? Could it be that this final “truth” is, in fact, another lie?

EngiNerds


Jarrett Lerner - 2017
    They may be brainiacs, but they’re just like everyone else: they fight with one another, watch too much TV, eat Chinese food, and hate walking their dogs. Well, maybe not just like everyone because Ken’s best friend Dan has been building robots. He then secretly sent one to each of the EngiNerds, never letting them know he’s the mastermind. At first Ken is awed and delighted: what kid hasn’t dreamed of having a robot all their own? Someone who can be their friend, clean their room, walk the dog, answer homework questions…how amazing is that? But be careful what you wish for: Dan’s robot, Greeeg, may look innocent, but his ravenous consumption of food—comestibles—turns him into a butt-blasting bot. And once the other robots ‘come alive’ it’s up to the motley crew of EngiNerds to not only save the day, but save the planet!

Lights, Camera, Middle School!


Jennifer L. Holm - 2017
    You can never be sure who s a friend and who's an enemy, and the halls are filled with mean-girl zombies. Instead of brains, the zombies hunger for stuff the perfect wedge sandals or the right shade of sparkly lip gloss and they expect everyone to be just like them. But Babymouse doesn't want to fit in she wants to stand out! So she joins the film club to write and direct a sweeping cinematic epic. Will making the film of her dreams turn into a nightmare?

Sci-Fi Junior High


Scott Seegert - 2017
    That's a lot of laughs! Kelvin Klosmo isn't just the new kid at school -- he's the new kid in the galaxy! Welcome to Sci-Fi Junior High: an inter-galactic space station with students of all shapes, sizes, smells, and . . . slime content. As the son of Earth's two most famous geniuses, Kelvin isn't just the smartest kid in the world . . . he's the smartest kid in the Universe. At least, that's what everybody at Sci-Fi Junior High thinks. So, maybe Kelvin lied a little about being a genius to fit in. And maybe a mad scientist is about to take over the universe unless Kelvin can stop him. Maybe everyone is doomed. Well, at least Kelvin won't have to worry about math homework anymore. Sci-Fi Junior High is an out-of-this-world story about friendship, accepting our differences, and the fight against evil . . . bunnies. Yes, evil bunnies -- don't ask.

Lexie's Little Lie


Emma Shevah - 2019
    But after the death of their grandmother, Lexie tells a terrible, instinctive, jealous lie about an heirloom necklace, a lie that splits the family apart. It's up to her to bring the family back together ... but after such a lie, can she find a way to tell the truth?

Big Nate: In a Class by Himself


Lincoln Peirce - 2010
    REALLY big things.But life doesn't always go your way just because you're awesome.Trouble always seems to find him, but Nate keeps his cool no matter what.He knows he's great. A fortune cookie told him so.For fans of the hilarious Diary of a Wimpy Kid series: Here comes BIG NATE, accidental mischief maker and definitely NOT the teacher's pet.

The Misadventures of the Family Fletcher


Dana Alison Levy - 2014
    Their year will be filled with new schools, old friends, a grouchy neighbor, hungry skunks, leaking ice rinks, school plays, wet cats, and scary tales told in the dark! There’s Sam, age twelve, who’s mostly interested in soccer, food, and his phone; Jax, age ten, who’s psyched for fourth grade and thinks the new neighbor stinks, and not just because of the skunk; Eli, age ten (but younger than Jax), who’s thrilled to be starting this year at the Pinnacle School, where everyone’s the smart kid; and Frog (not his real name), age six, who wants everyone in kindergarten to save a seat for his invisible cheetah. Also Dad and Papa. WARNING: This book contains cat barf, turtle pee, and some really annoying homework assignments.

Slacker


Gordon Korman - 2016
    It's not too hard for him to get away with it . . . until he gets so caught up in one game that he almost lets his house burn down around him. Oops.It's time for some serious damage control--so Cameron and his friends invent a fake school club that will make it seem like they're doing good deeds instead of slacking off. The problem? Some kids think the club is real--and Cameron is stuck being president.Soon Cameron is part of a mission to save a beaver named Elvis from certain extinction. Along the way, he makes some new friends--and some powerful new enemies. The guy who never cared about anything is now at the center of everything . . . and it's going to take all his slacker skills to win this round.

Frazzled: Everyday Disasters and Impending Doom


Booki Vivat - 2016
    Abbie Wu is in crisis always.Heavily illustrated and embarrassingly honest, Frazzled dives right into the mind of this hilariously neurotic middle school girl as she tries to figure out who she is, where she belongs, and how to survive the everyday disasters of growing up. With Abbie’s flair for the dramatic and natural tendency to freak out, middle school has never seemed so nerve-racking!Packed with hilarious black-and-white illustrations and doodles throughout, Frazzled takes readers through Abbie Wu’s hysterical middle school adventures.

I Funny: A Middle School Story


James Patterson - 2012
    He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act?Following the bestselling success of the hilarious Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life, James Patterson continues to dish out the funnies in another highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story. (Includes more than 175 black-and-white illustrations.)

Odd Gods


David Slavin - 2019
    . . odd for a God. He’s so odd, in fact, he’s not sure if he has any powers at all. And if that isn’t bad enough, his twin brother, Adonis, is everything Oddonis isn’t. He’s the most popular, most athletic, and most otherworldly-handsome God of them all. Even if Oddonis is just starting Mount Olympus Middle, his future isn’t looking bright, not after he makes the last-minute decision to run against Adonis to be class president. Losing to his own brother by a landslide is not how Oddonis wants to start sixth grade. So with the help of his friends Mathena (Goddess of math and, yes, poultry), Germes (God of all things sniffling and snotty), Gaseous (enough said?) and Puneous (the smallest God of them all), Oddonis hatches a plan to win the race, prove that the Odds are just as good as the Gods, and maybe, just maybe, find out what his true powers really are.Read the hilarious new adventures of Oddonis and his friends from debut children’s authors David Slavin and Daniel Weitzman, filled with dozens of black-and-white illustrations by award-winning artist Adam Lane.

Home Sweet Motel


Chris Grabenstein - 2016
    Wilkie may be the greatest storyteller alive. But he knows one thing for a fact: the Wonderland Motel is the best place a kid could ever live! All-you-can-eat poolside ice cream! A snack machine in the living room! A frog slide! A giant rampaging alligator! (Okay, that last one may or may not be made up.) There’s only one thing the Wonderland doesn’t have, though—customers. And if the Wonderland doesn’t get them soon, P.T. and his friend Gloria may have to say goodbye to their beloved motel forever.   They need to think BIG. They need to think BOLD. They need an OUTRAGEOUS plan. Luckily for them, Gloria is a business GENIUS, and OUTRAGEOUS is practically P.T.’s middle name. With Gloria’s smarts and P.T.’s world-famous stories and schemes, there’s got to be a way to save the Wonderland!   BONUS: Includes fun extras like P. T. Wilkie’s outrageous (and sometimes useful) things you learn living in a motel. Installment 1: How to say “Help! The toilet is clogged!” in over twenty languages!

Stuntboy, in the Meantime


Jason Reynolds - 2021
    And safe. Super safe. And he does this all in secret. No one in his civilian life knows he’s actually…Stuntboy! But his regular Portico identity is pretty cool, too. He lives in the biggest house on the block, maybe in the whole city, which basically makes it a castle. His mom calls where they live an apartment building. But a building with fifty doors just in the hallways is definitely a castle. And behind those fifty doors live a bunch of different people who Stuntboy saves all the time. In fact, he’s the only reason the cat, New Name Every Day, has nine lives. All this is swell except for Portico’s other secret, his not-so-super secret. His parents are fighting all the time. They’re trying to hide it by repeatedly telling Portico to go check on a neighbor “in the meantime.” But Portico knows “meantime” means his parents are heading into the Mean Time which means they’re about to get into it, and well, Portico’s superhero responsibility is to save them, too—as soon as he figures out how. Only, all these secrets give Portico the worry wiggles, the frets, which his mom calls anxiety. Plus, like all superheroes, Portico has an arch-nemesis who is determined to prove that there is nothing super about Portico at all.

Fake Mustache


Tom Angleberger - 2012
    is the only one standing between his evil-genius best friend—Casper, a master of disguise and hypnosis—and world domination. It all begins when Casper spends money from his granny on a spectacularly convincing fake mustache, the Heidelberg Handlebar #7. With it he’s able rob banks, amass a vast fortune, and run for president. Is Lenny the only one who can see through his disguise? And will he be able to stop Casper from taking over the world?

Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson's Journal


Jeff Kinney - 2019
    . . and counting. But it's finally time for readers to hear directly from Rowley in a journal of his own. In Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid, Rowley writes about his experiences and agrees to play the role of biographer for Greg along the way. (After all, one day Greg will be rich and famous, and everyone will want to know his life's story.) But Rowley is a poor choice for the job, and his "biography" of Greg is a hilarious mess. Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson's Journal offers readers a new way to look at the Wimpy world--one fans won't want to miss!