Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    F*ck Feelings is the last self-help book you will ever need!

    But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up.This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

    Paul Axtell has spent twenty-five years helping individuals in enhance their personal effectiveness by changing the way they look at relationships and conversation. In this book, he applies that wisdom to navigating life as a parent. This book will help you think about your conversations in a new light and guide you toward deeper, more meaningful connections. Father to two wonderful adults and grandfather to thirteen children in his blended family, he knows it's never too late to work on creating great relationships.

    With stories parents everywhere can relate to, Letters on Motherhood is the perfect gift for mums.Praise for Giovanna Fletcher'Touching, wise and at times very funny' - Heat'Her trademark humour and honesty remind us that positivity is key to making it as a mum' - OK

    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

    Robin O'Bryant offers a no holds barred look at the day to day life of being a mother to three, running a household and the everyday monotony of parenting. It's not always pretty but it's real. Whether she's stuffing cabbage in her bra… dealing with defiant yet determined daughters… yelling at the F.B.I... or explaining the birds and the bees to her preschooler… you're sure to find dozens of humorous and relatable situations. From the creator of Robin's Chicks, one of the South's most popular blogs on motherhood, misunderstandings and musings, comes a collection of essays that will not only make you laugh and cry, but realize that you're not alone in your journey.Sit back and relax, pour yourself some "mommy juice," throw a fresh diaper on your baby and deadbolt the bedroom door to keep your kids out… because once you start reading you'll be too busy wiping away tears of laughter to wipe anybody's butt.

    Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband—no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility.Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don’t change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

    There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you’re perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?   No one understands the delicate mother-daughter dynamic better than Kate Siegel—her own mother drove her so crazy that she decided to broadcast their hilarious conversations on Instagram. Soon, hundreds of thousands of people were following their daily text exchanges, eager to see what outrageous thing Kate’s mom would do next. Now, in Mother, Can You NOT?, Kate pays tribute to the woman who invented the concept of drone parenting.  From embarrassing moments (like crashing Kate's gynecological exams) to outrageous stories (like the time she made Kate steal a cat from the pound) to hilarious celebrations (including but not limited to parties for Kate's menstrual cycles), Mother, Can you NOT? lovingly lampoons the lengths to which our mothers will go to better our lives (even if it feels like they’re ruining them in the process).

    I struggled to get the kids off to school. I talked myself into getting ready for work. I packed lunches, checked backpacks, planned crock pot meals, and wished I was somewhere else. Yes, that's right. I wished I was somewhere other than my kitchen listening to my children fight over the last pack of fruit snacks. I dreamt about a life that was less stressful and more enjoyable. These thoughts made me cry on the way to drop off my kids at school. These thoughts made me feel like a terrible person.These thoughts made me feel like I was the worst Mother on the planet. I was ashamed to have these thoughts. I felt like I was failing at life. I was overworked, under appreciated, and dreaming of wanting more. Why wasn't I happy? Life seemed to be a chronic shit storm and I was the imbecilic meteorologist who forgot her umbrella. I decided that I needed to chase my dreams. I decided I had to find a way to scoop the poop and find my passion.

    But none of this experience will prepare you for the world’s biggest technological marvel: a newborn baby.   Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Baby Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: What’s the best way to swaddle a baby? How can I make my newborn sleep through the night? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenicht and his son, Joe Borgenicht. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare.

    In 1-2-3 Magic Teen, internationally renowned parenting expert Thomas W. Phelan explains how to better understand your teenager, which problems are not worth fighting over, and why your child's behavior likely matches the definition of a normal adolescent. With helpful, straightforward advice backed up by research and parent-tested strategies, 1-2-3 Magic Teen will help you establish a calmer, more respectful home and family life and show you how to guide your teenager into healthy, functional young adulthood. In this book, you'll find tools and advice tailored for the challenges of a teen lifestyle, including: Forgetting to do chores Absence in family outings Drop in grades Missed curfews Parties and drinking Work responsibilities

    Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

    Jacobs undergoes a hilarious, heartfelt quest to understand what constitutes family—where it begins and how far it goes—and attempts to untangle the true meaning of the “Family of Humankind.”A.J. Jacobs has received some strange emails over the years, but this note was perhaps the strangest: “You don’t know me, but I’m your eighth cousin. And we have over 80,000 relatives of yours in our database.” That’s enough family members to fill Madison Square Garden four times over. Who are these people, A.J. wondered, and how do I find them? So began Jacobs’s three-year adventure to help build the biggest family tree in history. Jacobs’s journey would take him to all seven continents. He drank beer with a US president, found himself singing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and unearthed genetic links to Hollywood actresses and real-life scoundrels. After all, we can choose our friends, but not our family. “Whether he’s posing as a celebrity, outsourcing his chores, or adhering strictly to the Bible, we love reading about the wacky lifestyle experiments of author A.J. Jacobs” (Entertainment Weekly). Now Jacobs upends, in ways both meaningful and hilarious, our understanding of genetics and genealogy, tradition and tribalism, identity and connection. It’s All Relative is a fascinating look at the bonds that connect us all.

    He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.