A giraffe who might be violating his restraining order. An alpaca with a very dirty secret. A cat who’s really mad at you for cancelling Netflix instant.  These are just a few of the hilariously human animals you’ll meet in Animals Talking in All Caps. Inspired by the wildly popular blog of the same name and including some of the site’s best-loved entries as well as gobs of never-before-seen material, these pages provide a brilliantly unhinged glimpse into the animal mind.

     What do we learn from our dogs? Everything. Our dogs make us better people. If we rescued them, they rescue us back. If we’re sad, they comfort us. If we need to have more fun, they show us how. They are our protectors, our role models, and our best friends. You’ll laugh a lot, tear up at times, and nod your head in recognition as you read these tales about the wonderful experience of sharing life with a dog. Life lessons from our dogs come in many forms, from the hilarious to the heroic. You’ll enjoy a wide variety in these 101 entertaining stories.

    They do not stand in line for brunch, or have season tickets to the Met, or go indoor-rock climbing in Brooklyn. They do not shop at thrift stores or nibble finger sandwiches at the Russian Tea Room. And they certainly do not give a flying f*ck about the Yankees. No, the felines of New York bathe, purr, bask languidly in the sun, and occasionally cast baleful glances at the humans who provide them food and shelter. They are proof that behind every New Yorker, there lays a cat just waiting to destroy their IKEA futon and then eat their faces off when they die.

    So when Sam heard a woman telling his mum that her cat had just had kittens, Sam pleaded to go and see them.Helen's heart melted as Sam held one of the kittens in his hands with a look of total adoration. In a trice the deal was done - the kitten would be delivered when she was big enough to leave her mother.A week later, Sam was dead. Not long after, a little black kitten was delivered to the grieving family. Totally traumatised by Sam's death, Helen had forgotten all about the new arrival. After all, that was back in another universe when Sam was alive.Helen was ready to send the kitten back, but Sam's younger brother wanted to keep her, identifying with the tiny black kitten who'd also lost her brothers. When Rob stroked her fur, it was the first time Helen had seen him smile since Sam's death. There was no choice: the kitten - dubbed Cleo - had to stay.Kitten or not, there seemed no hope of becoming a normal family. But Cleo's zest for life slowly taught the traumatised family to laugh. She went on to become the uppity high priestess of Helen's household, vetoing her new men, terrifying visiting dogs and building a special bond with Rob, his sister Lydia, Helen - and later a baby daughter.

    What secret does Freddie know about his owner's new wife? In this offbeat and illuminating book, feline behaviorist Pam Johnson-Bennett, takes you on the wildest house calls of her career. These stories--each of which unfolds like a mystery--will help owners better understand the ever fascinating cat psyche. Following on the success of her comprehensive book, Think Like a Cat, Johnson-Bennett sheds light on the communication breakdowns between cats and their humans.

    Bed. Bowl. Blankie. Just like home! Or so I've been told.  Visiting hours! Yawn. I pretend not to care. Yet -- I sneak a peek.  So begins this beguiling tale of a wary shelter cat and the boy who takes him home.Sometimes funny, sometimes touching, this adoption story, told entirely in haiku, is unforgettable.

    This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

    The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

    Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing, and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon

    Shouldn't they be lived to the fullest?Domesticated does not mean docile. The ho-hum routine of sleep, eat, eat, and sleep is no way for any creature who ruled Egypt for a millennium to spend her day. It's high time felines everywhere woke up from their cat naps and grabbed life's strings with both paws.The Devious Book for Cats offers today's discerning kitties words of wisdom and advice on everything they need to know, from in-depth guides on cardboard boxes and catnip to a brief history of the Felinism movement. It provides fail-safe tips on waking a human when you want to get fed, choosing the purr-fect gift, staring like a pro, and making the most of superstitions. It also explains the undeniable allure of the Window, the terrifying specter of the Vacuum, and how you can groom properly in just the scant twenty-four hours allotted each day.Cats: Discover the devious fun you can have when you're the one in charge!

    It's a far piece from anywhere and full of curiously odd and eccentric people, including Emma Grainger, a single woman and a veterinarian who dismisses all Christians as "those people," and Tassy, a young runaway with a secret. His first day on the job, however, Jake is adopted by Petey - a cat of unknown origins and breed - but of great perception. Petey believes that he is on a mission from God to redeem Jake and bring him and his quirky friends back to the truth.

    His subjects represent a cross-section of American society—musicians and artists, soldiers and CEOs, truck drivers and tattoo artists—with one very furry common denominator. These fun, fuzzy, and offbeat portraits are full of personality, and the accompanying stories share everything from “how we met” to how the cats earned their names. Men with Cats is a delightful gift book for anyone who appreciates the bond between pets and their people.

    Angel Cats, inspired by a contest authors Allen and Linda Anderson ran to find the "Best Angel Cat" story, shows the often extraordinary ways in which these fascinating creatures have responded to human need. Stories feature Paprika, the kitten that may have saved a little Hungarian girl from Russian soldiers; the cat who helped a woman make friends in a hostile workplace; the cats who acted as "pacemakers" for a sleeping woman with undiagnosed heart problems; and many more. Interwoven with the stories are brief meditations as well as fun facts about cats, such as that cats purr at the same frequency that increases bone density and strengthens and heals fractures. An "Ask Cuddles" section answers frequently asked questions about the fabulous feline.

    Begun as a personal challenge to create daily, the comics feature a variety of themes from the silly to the serious. Characterized by a charming drawing style and frequently featuring the cartoonist and her farcical feline Jimmy, these are the best Sunday comics you've never seen.

    Cats have strong personalities that enchant and engage, and it turns out there are many of them living in every reader's favorite environment: the bookstore. With personalities and histories as varied as the books they tend, each cat has a story worth telling. Collected here are their tales, along with enchanting photos of the feline employees in their shops. Most bookstore cats are famous in their local communities, many have been featured and profiled in entertainment outlets, and some even have their own books and social media accounts. Now, for the first time, some of the world's most beloved bookstore cats are collected together in one adorable directory, making the perfect gift for cat lovers, book lovers, shoppers, and the generally curious worldwide. Aside from keeping a bookseller free of mice, these noble creatures become part of the fabric of their environment and, while they chase away the mice, they lure in the world's cat-loving readers.