This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    Some mammoths were smaller than children. Owls are the dumbest birds in the world. Very few people with Tourette's syndrome swear. You can't get a six-pack from doing sit-ups. King Arthur's sword wasn't called Excalibur. Milk doesn't make your bones strong. There's no bones in your fingers. The Bible states that humans can't become angels. Humans have more than two nostrils. It's impossible to slide down a bannister. At a wedding, the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. Ties were invented for war, not fashion. Most Disney classics made almost no money. Slavery has only been illegal in the UK since 2010. George Washington wasn't the first American President. Velcro doesn’t exist. Nobody knows why we sleep.

    No human being who stood on her decks that fateful night was alive to commemorate the event on its 100th anniversary. Their stories are with us, however, and the lessons remain. From the moment the world learned the Titanic had sunk, we wanted to know, who had survived? Those answers didn’t come until the evening of Thursday, April 18, 1912―when the Cunard liner Carpathia finally reached New York with the 706 survivors who had been recovered from Titanic’s lifeboats. Harold Bride, “Titanic’s surviving wireless operator,” relayed the story of the ship’s band. “The way the band kept playing was a noble thing. I heard it first while still we were working wireless when there was a ragtime tune for us. The last I saw of the band, when I was floating out in the sea with my lifebelt on, it was still on deck playing ‘Autumn.’ How they ever did it I cannot imagine.” There were stories of heroism―such as that of Edith Evans, who was waiting to board collapsible Lifeboat D, the last boat to leave Titanic, when she turned to Caroline Brown and said, “You go first. You have children waiting at home.” The sacrifice cost Evans her life, but as Mrs. Brown said later, “It was a heroic sacrifice, and as long as I live I shall hold her memory dear as my preserver, who preferred to die so that I might live.” There was mystery. There was bravery. There was suspense. There was cowardice. Most men who survived found themselves trying to explain how they survived when women and children had died. But mostly, there was loss. On her return to New York after picking up Titanic’s survivors, Carpathia had become known as a ship of widows. Rene Harris, who lost her husband, Broadway producer Henry Harris, in the disaster, later spoke of her loss when she said, “It was not a night to remember. It was a night to forget.” Drawing on a wealth of previously unpublished letters, memoirs, and diaries as well as interviews with survivors and family members, veteran author and writer Alan Rockwell brings to life the colorful voices and the harrowing experiences of many of those who lived to tell their story. More than 100 years after the RMS Titanic met its fatal end, the story of the tragic wreck continues to fascinate people worldwide. Though many survivors and their family members disappeared into obscurity or were hesitant to talk about what they went through, others were willing to share their experiences during the wreck and in its aftermath. This book recounts many of these first-hand accounts in graphic, compelling detail.

    Revolutionary step by step system marriage success.

    How did the Old Masters create their masterpieces? What kind of education allowed these great artists to create such beautiful work, and how can an artist learn these lessons today? Traditional Oil Painting answers those questions and many more. This comprehensive sourcebook explores the most advanced levels of oil painting, with full information on the latest scientific discoveries. Author and distinguished artist Virgil Elliott examines the many elements that let artists take the next step in their work: mental attitude, aesthetic considerations, the importance of drawing, principles of visual reality, materials, techniques, portraiture, photographic images versus visual reality, and color. Traditional Oil Painting helps artists master the secrets of realistic painting to create work that will rival that of the masters.

    The simple stuff. The stuff that's going to really hit up that happiness on a deep and nourishing level. Whether you dip into these pages every now and then when you feel you need it, or use it daily as a positive exercise, I hope it brings you much relief, joy and calm. Amen to the pen." - Fearne Cotton For many of us, life can feel like it's moving too fast with pressure bearing down on us from all sides - whether that's from school or work, family or social media. As a result, we find ourselves frazzled, lost and - too often - feeling blue.It's a subject close to Fearne's heart. Drawing on her own experiences and including expert advice, HAPPY offers practical ways of finding joy each and every day. Happiness isn't a mountain to climb, it's just one foot in front of the other on the path of life, and here you'll find little steps that will help make the differences that count. With workbook elements to help you start and end the day well; get in touch with your creative side; and find peace through written exercises, simple practical ideas and visualisations, these are daily tricks and reminders to help you unlock that inner happiness.

    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

    You?ll learn the ins and outs of the equipment and events, find out how scoring is done, read about the history of the sport, and lots more! Dan Gutman?s insider look at gymnastics has been fully updated to include the 1996 Olympics and is sure to enthrall aspiring gymnasts and devoted fans alike.?A glossary, a chronology, and an entertaining chapter of gymnastics trivia round out this easily read, timely overview of a popular sport.?-- BooklistDan Gutman is the author of many books for children, including Ice Skating, Taking Flight: My Story by Vicky Van Meter, and World Series Classics. He lives in Haddonfield, New Jersey.

    If you want to be both passionate about what you do and successful, then you must take control of your professional destiny. Only you can determine who you are, what you can do, and where you want to go. If you are stuck in your career, frustrated at your position within a company, or bored with the profession you have chosen, then it is time to change your thinking. This book will hold your hand while you step back and evaluate where you started, where you are on your career path today, and most important, where you want to be tomorrow. Tired of your current job? Ready for the next steps? Eager to show the world everything you have to offer? Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio see it all the time: women derailing their careers because they believe that if they just sit quietly, work hard, and please their coworkers, someone upstairs will recognize their talents and dedication and deliver big rewards. But in today’s ultra-competitive workplace, nothing could be further from the truth. If you want your dream job with your dream salary, and all the opportunities and fulfillment that come with it, you have to stand up and go for it--without shame, guilt, or hesitation! The Girls’ Guide to Kicking Your Career into Gear gives you everything you need to decide what you want out of work and create a plan to make it happen. From how to negotiate a raise or a promotion to starting a new profession, Friedman and Yorio provide savvy, reassuring advice on how to successfully navigate every aspect of your career. Their sure-fire tools will show you how to:Sell yourself (without selling out)Master the secrets of the New Girls Network“Manage upward” to impress the right people, the right wayOvercome the fears—from public speaking to risk-taking--that hold you backCope with workplace underminers Ask for what you deserveFight the stereotypes that often keep women from moving up Based on interviews with more than 100 successful women who have shattered the glass ceiling and made great professional strides, The Girl’s Guide to Kicking Your Career into Gear is your ticket to taking charge of your career once and for all – and getting where you want to go.

    . . What is remarkable about this book is that a history of knitting can function so well as a survey of the changes in women's roles over time."--The New York Times Book ReviewAn historian and lifelong knitter, Anne Macdonald expertly guides readers on a revealing tour of the history of knitting in America. In No Idle Hands, Macdonald considers how the necessity--and the pleasure--of knitting has shaped women's lives.Here is the Colonial woman for whom idleness was a sin, and her Victorian counterpart, who enjoyed the pleasure of knitting while visiting with friends; the war wife eager to provide her man with warmth and comfort, and the modern woman busy creating fashionable handknits for herself and her family. Macdonald examines each phase of American history and gives us a clear and compelling look at life, then and now. And through it all, we see how knitting has played an important part in the way society has viewed women--and how women have viewed themselves.Assembled from articles in magazines, knitting brochures, newspaper clippings and other primary sources, and featuring reproductions of advertisements, illustrations, and photographs from each period, No Idle Hands capture the texture of women's domestic lives throughout history with great wit and insight."Colorful and revealing . . . vivid . . . This book will intrigue needlewomen and students of domestic history alike."--The Washington Post Book World

    With twenty original patterns for gorgeous lace shawls, delicate camisoles, sweaters, hats, scarves, and socks, Wendy D. Johnson provides thorough instruction on the best lace techniques.At last - gorgeous lace projects that are not only sumptuous, but designed for your everyday life.

    Did you know Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. Did you know that if you're looking for a job, the application and resume are not nearly as important as a reference. In fact ...... knowing someone who works at the company increases your chances of getting an interview and makes you 40% more likely to get the job over someone with a fancier resume. If you learnt anything in the last few lines you're going to learn a bunch more in the next 3666 facts. This book is a 3 in 1 compilation of our previous best selling fact series. It's full of interesting information that you can whip out in any conversation. You'll never be lost for words and always have the perfect ice breaker. ★You're going to learn more about the world you live in & some of the topics include:★ -Science -Economics -Human Anatomy -Animal Species -Space And many, many More! What’re you waiting for? Knowledge is power! Come on in and we’ll delve into the interesting and fascinating facts about the world around us. Scroll up and click the ‘add to cart’ button now! Get the e-book absolutely FREE when you get the paperback!

    The answers will surprise and delight you as Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist, explains how dogs perceive their daily worlds, each other, and that other quirky animal, the human.Temple Grandin meets Stephen Pinker in this engaging and informative look at what goes on inside the minds of dogs—from a cognitive scientist with a background at The New Yorker.With more than 52 million pet dogs in America today, it’s clear we are a nation of unabashed dog-lovers. Yet the relationship between dogs and humans remains a fascinating mystery, as no one really knows what goes on in the canine mind. Now, in Inside of a Dog, Alexandra Horowitz fuses her perspectives as both scientist and dog-owner to deliver a fresh look at the world of dogs—as seen from the animal’s point of view. Inspired by her years of living with her own dog, Pumpernickel, who was a constant source of delight and mystery, Horowitz’s mind became filled with questions and ideas. In crisp, clear prose, she draws on her research in the field of dog cognition to give readers a sense of a dog’s perceptual and cognitive abilities—and paints a picture of what the canine experience is like. Horowitz’s own scientific journey, and the insights she uncovered, allowed her to understand her dog better and appreciate her more.Containing up-to-the minute research and providing many moments of dog-behavior recognition, this lively and absorbing book helps dog owners to see their best friend’s behavior in a different, and revealing light, allowing them to understand their pets and enjoy their company even more.

    They convince us once again of what we may have forgotten: that we need to create schools that constantly demonstrate a belief in their students.

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