Sam Hunt faces up to the big three-o, and begins to feel that it might just be the beginning of the end.

    Oops. The phenomenally successful damnyouautocorrect.com began when author Jillian Madison innocently tried to invite some friends over for gelato. Autocorrect, however, had another idea, and asked them over for a night of 'fellatio' instead. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Damn You, Autocorrect! includes 200 never before seen submissions to the website, as well as an introduction from the author and website creator, Jillian Madison.

    A look at the absurdities of modern life.

    They also hate hippies, not to mention zip lines, penguins, moon penguins, nudists, weddings, sharing, and kittens. They really hate unicorns, strangely don't mind Canadians, and love YOU. Each of Greg Stones's ghoulishly colorful paintings reveal funny and unexpected scenes of zombie disgruntlement, cataloging the stuff that really riles up the walking dead (astronauts, rain, bagpipes, re-gifting, and more) with wit, humor, and, of course, brains. Zombies Hate Stuff offers an unexpected and irresistible perspective on the zombie apocalypse and the pop culture phenomenon that will not die. Plus, this is a fixed-format version of the book, which looks nearly identical to the print version.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    Now, at the venue in beautiful Barcelona, with her dress pressed and the guests all on their way, she’s only left one tiny detail until the last minute: letting the groom know he’s about to get hitched.But as far as Jed’s concerned, they’ve been bumping along just fine for ten years and even have a baby on the way, so why spoil things with an ‘I do’? Especially when he’d really rather not.Meanwhile the guests are arriving with plenty of baggage of their own. Fading reality star Liam’s still on the lookout for a plus-one; Rachel’s has refused to come—and dumped her into the bargain; and divorcee Patrick’s date is more of the ‘mid-life crisis’ variety.But as the ceremony approaches, and with no sign of Jed, there’s only one thing on all of their minds: will there be a bride and groom at the wedding?

    And it carries through to the vote that made Barack Obama the forty-fourth president of the United States.

    Vocal selections from the uproarious Broadway production that won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2005. Songs include: All for One * Always Look on the Bright Side of Life * Brave Sir Robin * Come with Me * Find Your Grail * Fisch Schlapping Dance * He Is Not Dead Yet * His Name Is Lancelot * I'm All Alone * King Arthur's Song * Knights of the Round Table * Laker Girls Cheer * Monks Chant * Run Away! * The Song That Goes Like This * Whatever Happened to My Part? * Where Are You? * You Won't Succeed on Broadway. Includes five pages of color photos.

    But alas! He has no money to do so! Will Deepu end up disappointing his brother? Find out in The Fancy Dress.• Suppandi’s employer rewards him for his honesty when he returns the five rupee note he found. But what will happen when Suppandi continues this honest behaviors? Get ready to laugh with The Adventures of Suppandi: Self Help.• Being around people who love to boast about themselves can be annoying. But what do you do when you’re forced to travel with one of them? Find out what a man does when he is repeatedly slighted by the Proud Man in the Train.• Hodja’s friend just wants some peace and quiet to meditate. But the fascinated villagers won’t let him be! What clever scheme will Hodja come up with to help his friend in Money Power?

    Learn how to slow down and move at your own pace, become your own boss, and just devour those irritating people who get in your way.Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take heart: you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents includes:The 24 Habits of Highly Effective ZombiesSlow Down! (You Move Too Fast)Be Your Own BossStrength in NumbersNo Credit Letting Go of Your Ego and Adopting a Zombie’s Spirit of CooperationAnd much more!Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful creatures: the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”

    It shows the many ways in which the Felis Domesticus can drive their owners mad yet maintain their keeper's affections. Read, laugh and see if you find yourself (and your cat -- or cats) in these pages.The 99 reasons are all amusingly illustrated with original cartoon art. For the color-capable Kindle Fire and Kindle apps (on iPhone, iPad and Android), the illustrations are shown in color.

    Gorey tells the tale of 26 children (each representing a letter of the alphabet) and their untimely deaths in rhyming dactylic couplets, accompanied by the author's distinctive black and white illustrations. It is one of Edward Gorey's best-known books, and is the most notorious amongst his roughly half-dozen mock alphabets.[2] It has been described as a "sarcastic rebellion against a view of childhood that is sunny, idyllic, and instructive". The morbid humor of the book comes in part from the mundane ways in which children die, such as falling down the stairs or choking on a peach. Far from illustrating the dramatic and fantastical childhood nightmares, these scenarios instead poke fun at the banal paranoias that come as a part of parenting.

    Parenting is hard and often gross. Laughing about it helps. If you liked Toddlers Are A**holes, you'll love Fowl Language!Parenting can be a magical journey full of bliss and wonder . . . if you're on the right meds. For the rest of us, it's another thing altogether. Fowl Language Comics takes an unvarnished look at the tedium and aggravation of parenting, while never forgetting that the reason we put up with those little jerks is that we love them so damn much. By poking fun at the daily struggles parents face, these cartoons help all of us feel less alone in our continual struggle to stay sane.Brian Gordon, creator of Fowl Language Comics, has two small children of his own and knows well the trials and tribulations that go along with raising them. With more than eighteen years of experience in humorous illustration, writing, and cartooning, Brian's visual point of view is memorable, authentic, and instantly recognizable. From Brian: "They say 'write what you know.' Well, I don’t know much, but I do know what it’s like to be the father of two brilliant, beautiful, bat-shit-crazy kids."Launched in July 2013, the relatable humor of Fowl Language broke out on HuffPost Parents, Pop Sugar Moms, Bored Panda, Awkward Family Photos, and countless other humor and parenting blogs. Thanks to more than 200,000 fans on social media, including Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram, it continues to grow in popularity at a rapid pace.

    It is a fascinating diary... It is shorter than Barbara Castle's... and although it is rather more accurate than Dick Crossman's, itis distinctly funnier' - Lord Allen of Abbeydale (formerlyPermanent Secretary at the Home Office) in The Times'It has an entertainment and educational value which isunique. It is uproariously funny and passes the acid test ofbecoming more amusing at every subsequent reading... I willgo so far as to claim that in the characters of Jim Hacker andSir Humphrey Appleby, Messrs Lynn and Jay have createdsomething as immortal as P.G. Wodehouse's Bertie Woosterand Jeeves' - Brian Walden in The Standard

    Part-time jobs at Ron Todd's World of Chickens seemed like the perfect way to earn a few bucks on the way. But Phil's stuck out in front in the chicken suit trying to lure in reluctant customers and Frank's suffering from the fast-food grind in back frying burgers. Now that both of them are falling for Ron's wife and daughter, Frank's dream of being a surgeon and Phil's secret desire to be a film-maker are put on the back burner. Suddenly, Phil becomes a reluctant and altogether unexpected oracle on dental health, strategic planning, and marriage guidance.