But these days she barely notices the little daily lies she tells to keep it hidden. She has a new identity now. All she wants is an orderly, predictable life that revolves around her beloved husband and children. Kathryn was once Kelly, a girl who lived on one of the roughest estates in the north and got pregnant as a teen. When she moved away, she left the past behind. Now there's a stranger in her kitchen, and he knows more about her than he is letting on. What does he want? Has he come for help or is he planning to wreck her life?Will Kathryn finally have to admit to her family that she isn't who they think she is?

    Emily, now in her 30s, is living in Los Angeles with a husband and a career as an image consultant—a career that is suddenly floundering—when she gets a desperate summons to Greenwich, Connecticut, from her old friend Miriam. Miriam’s pal Karolina is all over the media with a bogus drunk driving change, and this senator’s wife and former Victoria’s Secret model needs an image makeover, fast. The narrative is split between the three women as they uncover a major betrayal and in doing so form an enviable bond. The doings of the Greenwich housewives who are now shunning Karolina is uproariously funny, and even jaded Emily is shocked by the scandalous behavior going on behind oversized doors. It feels like Weisberger wrote her novel yesterday, peppering the story with real-life celebrity misconduct. When Life Gives You Lululemons is a laugh-out-loud funny look at rich people behaving badly and the steel bonds of true female friendship. —Seira Wilson, Amazon Book Review

    Each story follows the life of a person living on a fictitious council estate in London. The stories illustrate the realities and struggles that ordinary people go through at a time when people are feeling disenfranchised and are frustrated at not having their voices heard. Ranging from a humorous look at the gentrification of London to the realities of living with addiction the stories place the reader in the shoes of each character allowing them to feel their emotions.

    She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first full-length novel after her series of laugh-out-loud mini books.

    The dot.com boom is in full swing, and it seems as though every twenty-something has become an instant millionaire-except our narrator, who has just arrived from the Midwest without a job. Confronted with the chilling prospect of missing out on the greatest cash grab of the twentieth century, he enlists with a temp agency. That's when things start getting strange.Mistaken by the agency for an urbane homosexual instead of the ex-frat boy he really is, he is assigned to a fully-staffed mansion in the Pacific Heights neighborhood. His new boss? Definitely not the old matron he was expecting.Bailey Phelan is the gorgeous, thirty-year-old wife of an aging billionaire, and her penchant for Prada, recreational drugs, and foreign boyfriends quickly has the narrator running in circles trying to keep her exorbitant spending and romantic misadventures under wraps. But despite all the glitz, what she might need most is a friend.As the narrator gets sucked deeper into the mansion milieu-oversexed nannies, a lovelorn gay chef, the obsessive head housekeeper, the bilious billionaire himself-he's faced with the unavoidable question: will the six-figure salary and over-the-top lifestyle of the rich and infamous corrupt him -- or will he cut and run with his soul intact?

    The novel follows the journey of Ira Overman, veteran of multiple botched careers and a singularly botched marriage, as he makes one last attempt to rise above the guilt, weakness, and self-hatred that have been hard-wired into his soul since birth. Through an unlikely side effect from a seemingly routine surgery, Overman suddenly finds himself trying to reconcile newfound powers with the man he used to be, determined not to repeat the poor choices of his past. Overman succeeds at righting some of his former wrongs, fails miserably at others, but, most importantly, gains a small yet significant window into a life that matters.

    When he wasn’t burning down parts of Berkeley or springing girlfriends from homes for unwed mothers, he was dodging gendarmes in Paris. So what sort of parent would that most outrageous of teenagers make? In this new installment of the acclaimed Twisp saga, 40-something Nick faces the daily trials of dealing with his own teenage son. When a move to California threatens to disrupt young Scott Twisp’s life, he reacts in the true Twispian spirit. Follow this wannabe “wanton lothario” as he conspires to meet the challenges of girls, sex, work, parents, TV stardom, and more. Also returning to complicate matters are Sheeni, Trent, Apurva, Vijay, Jake, Veeva, Uma, and the rest of C.D. Payne’s huge and colorful cast. Enjoy all seven books in the monumental Twisp saga: over a half-million words of hilarious mayhem! Note: Each book in the Nick Twisp series is a self-contained novel that can be enjoyed on its own. Familiarity with the other titles is not required.

    Well, that is what Rosie did.Buying the house was an accident. She only went out for bananas.Rosie embarks on renovating her 22 room ‘new’ home in Italy with a non-negotiable move-in date of Christmas Eve.Surrounded by a cast of interesting characters, the Irish woman learns the Italian way of life and house renovating in the country she wants to call home. But when the project manager goes AWOL, non-Italian speaking Rosie has no option but to take control with the help of a translation app.With no heating, windows disappearing, mystery holes in the garden, water flooding down the stairs, a pandemic destroyed business and with a move-in date that seems more laughable than doable, Rosie begins to question if she was crazy to follow through on her fabulous midlife crisis dream of renovating a villa in Italy.

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

    Deputy Marshal in Kansas for a great deal of his life. As soon as his brother Tommy stops answering his letters, he gets extremely alarmed and decides to take matters into his own hands. When he puts a plan in place to travel to Texas, little does he know that a shattering surprise awaits him there; his brother has been found dead, next to the body of one of the most powerful ranchers in town. Will Lee manage to unravel the truth behind these enigmatic and shocking deaths?While Lee is still aghast, the local sheriff declares Tommy's death a suicide, and also accuses him of attempting robbery and murder. On the spur of the moment, the case is considered closed, which makes Lee highly suspicious. Feeling that they drag Tommy's name through the mud, he decides to defy the law and seek vindication. Will he succeed in this lonesome yet risky mission? How will he solve this demanding riddle and clear his brother's name?Lee's hazardous quest begins, having Susan Marsh and Ki'Somma, a young Cherokee medicine man, on his side. Doubts, lies, deceits, serious injuries as well as many other roadblocks will derange their endless undertaking. Will they manage to join forces triumphantly and complete this challenging mission? Or will Tommy always be remembered as a ruthless criminal?

    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

    

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown