Book picks similar to
Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time by Stephen A. Mitchell
psychology
relationships
non-fiction
psychoanalysis
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
Amir Levine - 2010
F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
Mark Manson - 2011
It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
John M. Gottman - 2011
In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love
Howard J. Markman - 1994
Groundbreaking studies have found that couples can use the strategies of this approach to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up. Based on twenty years of university research, this popular book will show you how to: * Talk more and fight less * Deepen and protect your friendship * Have a more intimate, sensual relationship * Keep the fun alive * Clarify and act on your priorities * Develop a vision for your future together
What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire
Daniel Bergner - 2013
Women crave intimacy and emotional connection. Women don't want sex with strangers. Right? Wrong. Could 'the fairer sex' in fact be more sexually aggressive and anarchic than men? In What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire, critically acclaimed journalist Daniel Bergner looks at the evidence. Recent research, he finds, dismantles the myths to reveal an unprecedented portrait of female lust- the triggers, the fantasies, the mind-body connection (and disconnection), the reasons behind the loss of libido and, most revelatory, that this loss is not inevitable.
The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover
David Deida - 2004
David Deida was trained for decades in the art of spiritual and sexual awakening. Now he presents the ultimate collection of skills for opening to the physical, emotional, and spiritual rewards of intimate embrace. In paperback for the first time, The Enlightened Sex Manual teaches you how to transform simple "skin friction" into the depths and embodiment of ecstasy, how to develop sexual abilities as gifts of heart rapture and bodily surrender, how to achieve the principal types of orgasm-and all their varieties-and much more. For men and women, singles and couples of every sexual orientation, The Enlightened Sex Manual provides a complete program for sustaining "whole-body recognition of love's light" in the wild play of sexuality.Contents Part One: EnergyUse your breath to arouse and relax your genitalsRestrain your nervous systemUse your tongue like a circuit breakerUse your eyes to direct energyPart Two: OrgasmBypass ejaculations for greater pleasureRetrain the addiction to ejaculationCurb fidgetsGood ejaculations liberate energyOptimize ejaculations to maximize life's depthEjaculate when the body needs toUnderstand the three types of women's orgasmsEnjoy clitoral orgasmsDelight in vaginal orgasmsSurrender in the bliss of cervical orgasmsChoose when to orgasmAllow orgasmic variationPart Three: VariationsStimulate the sex pathsBite, slap, and pinch to move sexual energyMove energy through the lips, nipples, and genitalsStimulate the anusDo the feetThrust both deep and shallowConnect the cervix and penisVibrate quickly to increase and smooth out energyRelax your body and breathMake love for at least forty-five minutes Part Four: Sexual Energy ExercisesBreathe sexual energy in a circleBreathe genital energy upBreathe energy down the frontSeal your pelvic floorLock energy in your soft partsPraise "David Deida explains the heart and soul of women to men. As a woman, I've never felt so understood and validated. David's work is a key to helping men and women alike take their relationships one step further. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships." Marci Shimoff, Co-author of Chicken Soup for a Woman's Soul "Being able to reach and live integrated sex, relationship, and transcendence is no easy task. It requires immense courage, wisdom, and above all, fearless loving. In Deida, all this gets included in one radical teaching. You'll learn how to open your heart and integrate the need to sleep with every attractive woman you see, deal appropriately with a woman's emotional chaos, give your gift to the word and lover, and finally transcend the whole lot by including it all." Vijay Rana, The Watkins Review "Deida brilliantly lays bare the hidden psychology of feminine and masculine and offers clear instructions for tapping into our deepest core and achieving true harmony through sexual intimacy. I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me." Miranda Shaw, PhD, Author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism "David Deida's teachings on this central human concern, sexuality, emanate from a deeply trustworthy source. He has undergone his own rigorous training and practice, which manifests in precise, gentle, and thorough teachings. Many spiritual traditions, including Zen, have excluded or marginalized the sexual experience. David's work fills this gap, and gives us a mature approach for bringing the energetic, emotional, and physical experience of sex into our life and practice. And like Zen, the fruition of David's work is openness, compassion, and love." Genpo Roshi, Author of The Eye Never Sleeps
Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
Robert Karen - 1994
How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults?In Becoming Attached, Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental issues of emotional life. He explores such questions as: * What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? * What are the risks of day care for children under one year of age, and what can parents do to manage those risks? * What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon - 2000
His contribution to our understanding not only of mental illness but also of the human condition is truly stunning.The Noonday Demon examines depression in personal, cultural, and scientific terms. Drawing on his own struggles with the illness and interviews with fellow sufferers, doctors and scientists, policymakers and politicians, drug designers and philosophers, Solomon reveals the subtle complexities and sheer agony of the disease. He confronts the challenge of defining the illness and describes the vast range of available medications, the efficacy of alternative treatments, and the impact the malady has had on various demographic populations around the world and throughout history. He also explores the thorny patch of moral and ethical questions posed by emerging biological explanations for mental illness.The depth of human experience Solomon chronicles, the range of his intelligence, and his boundless curiosity and compassion will change the reader's view of the world.
The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease
Marc Lewis - 2015
The psychiatric establishment and rehab industry in the Western world have branded addiction a brain disease. But in The Biology of Desire, cognitive neuroscientist and former addict Marc Lewis makes a convincing case that addiction is not a disease, and shows why the disease model has become an obstacle to healing. Lewis reveals addiction as an unintended consequence of the brain doing what it's supposed to do-seek pleasure and relief-in a world that's not cooperating. As a result, most treatment based on the disease model fails. Lewis shows how treatment can be retooled to achieve lasting recovery. This is enlightening and optimistic reading for anyone who has wrestled with addiction either personally or professionally.
Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You
Sam Gosling - 2001
What he has discovered is intriguing: When it comes to the most essential components of our personality—from friendliness and flexibility to openness and originality—the things we own and the way we arrange them can say more about who we are than even our most intimate conversations.Packed with original research and a wealth of fascinating stories, Snoop is a captivating guide to our not-so-secret selves, and reveals how intensely connected we are to the places in which we live and work.
The Brain that Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science
Norman Doidge - 2007
Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Norman Doidge, M.D., traveled the country to meet both the brilliant scientists championing neuroplasticity and the people whose lives they’ve transformed - people whose mental limitations or brain damage were seen as unalterable. We see a woman born with half a brain that rewired itself to work as a whole, blind people who learn to see, learning disorders cured, IQs raised, aging brains rejuvenated, stroke patients learning to speak, children with cerebral palsy learning to move with more grace, depression and anxiety disorders successfully treated, and lifelong character traits changed. Using these marvelous stories to probe mysteries of the body, emotion, love, sex, culture, and education, Dr. Doidge has written an immensely moving, inspiring book that will permanently alter the way we look at our brains, human nature, and human potential.
The Anatomy of Evil
Michael H. Stone - 2009
Stone—host of Discovery Channel’s former series Most Evil—uses this common emotional reaction to horrifying acts as his starting point to explore the concept and reality of evil from a new perspective. In an in-depth discussion of the personality traits and behavior that constitute evil across a wide spectrum, Dr. Stone takes a clarifying scientific approach to a topic that for centuries has been inadequately explained by religious doctrines.Basing his analysis on the detailed biographies of more than 600 violent criminals, Stone has created a 22-level hierarchy of evil behavior, which loosely reflects the structure of Dante’s Inferno. He traces two salient personality traits that run the gamut from those who commit crimes of passion to perpetrators of the worst crimes—sadistic torture and murder. One trait is narcissism, as exhibited in people who are so self-centered that they have little or no ability to care about their victims. The other is aggression, the use of power over another person to inflict humiliation, suffering, and death.Stone then turns to the various factors that, singly or intertwined, contribute to pushing certain people over the edge into committing heinous crimes. They include heredity, adverse environments, violence-prone cultures, mental illness or brain injury, and abuse of mind-altering drugs. All are considered in the search for the root causes of evil behavior.What do psychology, psychiatry, and neuroscience tell us about the minds of those whose actions could be described as evil? And what will that mean for the rest of us? Stone discusses how an increased understanding of the causes of evil will affect the justice system. He predicts a day when certain persons can safely be declared salvageable and restored to society and when early signs of violence in children may be corrected before potentially dangerous patterns become entrenched.
Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love: Solving the Mystery of Attraction
Allan Pease - 2000
By translating science and cutting edge research into a powerful yet highly entertaining read, you’ll learn how to find true happiness and compatibility with the opposite sex. REVEALED IN THIS BOOK: * The seven types of love* The top five things women want from men * What to do when the chemistry is wrong* What turns men and women on – and off!* The most common “New Relationship” mistakes and how to avoid them* How to decode “manspeak”If you want to get the most satisfaction from your relationship, or are single and looking for the right person, then you must read this book for the answer to Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love.
Brain Bugs: How the Brain's Flaws Shape Our Lives
Dean Buonomano - 2011
Our memory is unreliable; we can't multiply large sums in our heads; advertising manipulates our judgment; we tend to distrust people who are different from us; supernatural beliefs and superstitions are hard to shake; we prefer instant gratification to long-term gain; and what we presume to be rational decisions are often anything but. Drawing on striking examples and fascinating studies, neuroscientist Dean Buonomano illuminates the causes and consequences of these "bugs" in terms of the brain's innermost workings and their evolutionary purposes. He then goes one step further, examining how our brains function-and malfunction-in the digital, predator-free, information-saturated, special effects-addled world that we have built for ourselves. Along the way, Brain Bugs gives us the tools to hone our cognitive strengths while recognizing our inherent weaknesses.
The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty
Simon Baron-Cohen - 2011
In some cases, this absence can be dangerous, but in others it can simply mean a different way of seeing the world.In The Science of Evil Simon Baron-Cohen, an award-winning British researcher who has investigated psychology and autism for decades, develops a new brain-based theory of human cruelty. A true psychologist, however, he examines social and environmental factors that can erode empathy, including neglect and abuse.Based largely on Baron-Cohen's own research, The Science of Evil will change the way we understand and treat human cruelty.