If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    "This is the book everyone needs to read when life takes an unexpected turn." - Mia Freedman, MamaMia Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path. Viral video producer Briony Benjamin was a few months into a new job when she started feeling crappy... All. The. Time. Doctors told her she was just stressed and should rest more and learn to meditate. But it turns out she had cancer all through her body. Turning the camera on herself, Briony started documenting her journey in the short video You Only Get One Life. Its raw portrayal of her experience went viral, touching millions. Here Briony shares some of the important lessons learnt through her illness and recovery - everything from how to assemble your A Team in times of crisis and learning to make friends with the pain, to happy hacks for cutting yourself some slack and some great tips on being a kick-arse support human when a friend is going through the rough stuff. If you want to live the richest version of your life, bring some more joy into your day-to-day existence and have some tools up your sleeve for when things get tricksy, this book is for you. Because - spoiler alert - we all have to deal with our fair share of tough times sooner or later. It's how we handle them and bounce back afterwards that really matters.

    Pellham **Have you been thinking about getting a pet hamster? Are you kids constantly begging you for a pet but you aren’t sure whether it’s a smart decision? Do you already own a hamster but want to learn more about how to care for it properly?Then this complete guide to hamster care is exactly what you are looking for. It will provide you with all the information you need to make the right decision. Whether you are considering buying a hamster or you already own one, this guide is the perfect resource to help you make the smartest decisions when it comes to owning a hamster as a pet.For example, did you know that not all hamsters are the same? There are more than 25 different species of hamster in the world! Only 5 of them have been domesticated to be kept as pets. But even among those 5, there are some important differences that you need to know when making your decision to get a hamster.This guide contains a full chapter that thoroughly describes each of these 5 species—where they are native to, what they look like, what their personality is like, and more. This will help you decide not only whether to get a hamster or not but which specific species of hamster is right for you!Owning a pet can be a huge responsibility. You’re taking care of a living creature, after all. Use this guide to make sure you are ready to take on all the responsibilities that come with owning a pet hamster. You can make sure that your hamster is happy, healthy, and safe by following the simple instructions for hamster care in this book. Consider all the pros and cons so that you can make the right choices! Learn about: the physical & behavioral characteristics of all 5 species of “pet” hamster their life cycle and habitat in the wild the basic necessities you need to buy for a pet and how much it’s going to cost you to provide the proper care everything you need to know about giving your hamster the highest possible quality of life the pros and cons of owning a pet hamster the most common problems & illnesses that hamsters experience and how to watch out for them special tips for training your hamster to do cool tricks a bonus chapter on how to start breeding hamsters and the best way to sell them and much, much more! Make sure that you know everything you need to know before you make this important decision. Find out if owning a hamster is the right choice for you! >>Purchase or Download This Book Today, Available on Kindle & in Print. <<

    Especially, if you are different. The (un)Lucky Sperm is a funny memoir — a collection of honest, harrowing and absurd accounts.Until he was seventeen, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances.In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence. Follow him having his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss and first ejaculation. The story is moving and disturbing, brutal yet hilarious. Cheer him along in his struggles and triumphs until he leaves the desert and heads off to college.If you like stories full of sarcasm and observational humor, then you are going to love this book.

    Len Goodman tells all about his new-found fame, his experiences on Strictly Come Dancing, and also on the no.1 US show Dancing with the Stars and his encounters with the likes of Heather Mills-McCartney and John Sergeant. But the real story is in his East End roots. And Len's early life couldn't be more East End. The son of a Bethnal Green costermonger he spent his formative years running the fruit and veg barrow and being bathed at night in the same water Nan used to cook the beetroot. There are echoes of Billy Elliot too. Though Len was a welder in the London Docks, he dreamt of being a professional footballer, and came close to making the grade had he not broken his foot on Hackney Marshes. The doctor recommended ballroom dancing as a light aid to his recovery. And Len, it turned out, was a natural. At first his family and work mates mocked, but soon he had made the final of a national competition and the welders descended en masse to the Albert Hall to cheer him on. With his dance partner, and then wife Cheryl, Len won the British Championships in his late twenties and ballroom dancing became his life. Funny and heart-warming, Len Goodman's autobiography has all the honest East End charm of Tommy Steele, Mike Read or Roberta Taylor.

    Multibillionaire Goddard Moss has a vision: a city rising tall on the South Dakota prairie dedicated to Art. Not art of the staid, traditional, edifying, entertaining variety, but the Modern—modern painting, modern theater, modern sculpture, modern dance, all as obscure, pretentious, and offensive as its creators can make it (and with luck, government-funded). As Culture City rises from the grassy fields, playwrights, performers, and artists prepare for the gala opening week. Gregory Lubin's expansive stage re-creation of the Tower of Babel story is awaited with particular anticipation. But revolution is brewing just yards beyond the city walls and as far away as rural Maine. Despite the money being lavished on it, it becomes doubtful that "the Artland in the Heartland" will survive past its premiere.

    Over the years many other regions were explored. The story is told by their not terribly good leader.

    Standing in the shadow of the squat stone structure, it is hard to imagine a more isolated spot. The building sits alone in a vast tract of empty, featureless terrain to the south of Cape Wrath, in Sutherland. There is no access road, no running water, no electricity and no telephone. Yet James McRory Smith survived here, battered by the elements and devoid of human company. His story is a fascinating account of a man pitting his wits against the wilderness, enduring endless isolation and existing, for a large part, off the land. James’ lifestyle belonged to a bygone age, yet he lived it in the 20th century, turning his back on the luxuries and conveniences of the modern world.His way of life was frugal. He constructed furniture from fish boxes and driftwood washed upon on the coast. He kept warm by burning peat dug from the moor, and he ate trout caught from local lochs.James survived everything Sutherland could throw at him. He arrived at Strathchailleach in the early 1960s, after leaving the army and embarking upon an itinerant lifestyle, moving from one abandoned, isolated property to another, and remained there until 1994 when ill health finally forced him back into society.Behind this tale of survival there were two significant events that brought major change to James’ life and both involved women very close to him.James was a complex character. He was intelligent and resourceful, artistic and creative, but he also drank heavily, resulting in regular confrontation with hillwalkers and anglers who visited his bothy home, and the law. This biography traces James’ life, from his early years in Dumbarton, through his time on the army to the moment he decided to leave behind everything he knew for the isolation of Strathchailleach. It seeks to answer why any man would take such a momentous decision and describes how James was able to exist for over 30 years in such a barren and unforgiving environment. It looks at the tools and life skills he developed to survive and examines how he was able to cope, both physically and mentally, with the challenges he faced on a daily basis.This biography provides readers with an inspiring account of a modern day hermit. It offers a rare insight into an alternative way of life, one that is far removed from the norm. At a time when people are becoming increasingly concerned about consumption and consumerism, and their impact on the environment, James McRory Smith’s story demonstrates the practicalities and challenges of the frugal, self-sufficient lifestyle many people dream of. However, this is not intended simply as a social history, is also a true-life story of adventure and survival.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!

    This is storytelling at its funniest.If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    What is it like? It is the best gift you can ever imagine, like rain falling on a dry place.This memoir is a great reunion journey, from Paris, to California, to Denmark! A coming together of a mother and son, the only two people who can answer all the questions the other one has.

    But long before he put on the deputy's star, he grew up in Nigeria, where his experiences were equally unforgettable. In THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES, LawDog chronicles his encounters with everything from bush pilots, 15-foot pythons, pygmy mongooses, brigadier-captains, and Peace Corp hippies to the Nigerian space program. THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES are every bit as hilarious as the previous volume, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. Africa wins again, and again, and again, but, so too does the reader in this sobering, but hilarious collection of true tales from the Dark Continent.