256 pages."Finally, a Dinosaur Comics book, unabridged and in full colour, AND with all three secret texts for each comic included! And it's so pretty, you guys. So pretty.Featuring an introduction by Randall Munroe of XKCD and an all-new index written by Ryan that includes, among other things, the 11 different types of makeouts referenced by T-Rex, this book is great. It gets greater: there's also an interview with the author AND a photo of Michael "Worf" Dorn. You know that you've always wanted these extras collected in one book, maybe with hundreds of Dinosaur Comics in the book too. THAT DREAM HAS NOW COME TRUE, and it's called "Dinosaur Comics: Dudes Already Know About Chickens".

    A low-ranking TV personality. Rather immature and carefree, my only responsibility to date has been a guinea pig. All that's about to change. I'm pregnant, and now I've become a cheddar cheese junkie, inseparable from my dungarees. Help!' Who can Mel turn to? Pen, her best friend, who is still annoyingly carefree and single, and whose effect on Mel is like an injection of pure caffeine to the system? Jools, the hippy who recommends basil nosegay for labour pains and placenta pate canapes when entertaining? Amanda, the well-heeled, pregnant-friend-from-Hell who, only weeks after her textbook delivery, is planning to have her firstborn taught to ski? Kate, Mel's sister and mother of two, whose offspring are inclined towards dangerous Captain Hook impersonations and sudden mood swings? Mel's mother, who got Mel through babyhood by way of regular coffee mornings and who impresses on her the importance of portable 1950s baby gear that looks about as foldable as a Transit van? Dan, the dad-to-be, who suddenly stops going to the pub to concentrate on Mel's dietary requirements and has adopted the sinister habit of always keeping a tape measure attached to his belt?

    And she's seen how a simple message of hope uplifts a life that's left in tatters.In these pages you'll find a daily dollop of Barbara's favorite jokes, heartwarming stories, witty cartoons, and heartache-survival strategies. Share a moment each morning with the Geranium Lady, and soon you, like Barbara, will realize you've been "blessed to be a blessing."

    Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!

    Foreman on a deconstruction ship that specializes in demolishing belief outbreaks, Nul is prodded out of his complacency by a false murder charge, and sets off on a journey that takes him to the very brink of hope. A 232-page concoction of fiction and intrigue that delves into the bleak and bitter philosophical brew of Nihilist chic.

    Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.

    Funny and charming, poignant and nostalgic, McLean's essays illuminate a world most of us take for granted. Among Stuart's favourites in this collection are:- the shocking truth about household dust- the importance of hardware stores- the sad, true tale of Anne, the street lady- an ode to the Popsicle, "one of the world's most perfect foods"- the story of the greatest game of Monopoly ever played.

    A perfect evening of comedy. Scenes Include:ACT ONEWord Dance (Part One)The Night the Bed FellFables for Our Time (Part One)The Wolf at the DoorThe Unicorn in the GardenThe Little Girl and the WolfIf Grant Had Been Drinking at AppomattoxCasuals of the KeysThe Macbeth Murder MysteryGentleman ShoppersThe Last FlowerACT TWOThe Pet DepartmentFile and ForgetMr. Preble Gets Rid of His WifeTake Her Up TenderlyThe Secret Life of Walter MiddyWord Dance (Part Two) Only material authorized for the production of this play may be used."Of belly laughs there is abundance...Small, cozy, and completely captivating revue...a sheer delight... joyous, magnificently lunatic festival" - New York Daily News

    After all, what’s he going to be able to do about it? He’s just this guy, stuck in a small town, pinned there by a load of student debt and a stalled writing career. Oh, and a wicked case of writer’s block.Or at least he was, until a dragon showed up in his bedroom. At midnight. Quoting Freud and muttering about the space-time continuum.So of course, Ian must Make a Choice and decide whether he wants to follow the dragon back into the Connectome and find his muse again, or stay in a house that surely wants to kill him, one repair bill at a time.Follow Ian on a rollicking adventure, where he finds out that he can make a difference. And that some things are worth fighting for.Even if all you have is a can opener.

    Whether you fall in the middle of the pack, up near the front of the pack, or so far from any semblance of a pack that you're wondering if everyone went home already, you'll find plenty to laugh about in this book.I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! is a comical examination of events that are near and dear to every runner's well-conditioned heart. As the Dave Barry of running, popular running humorist Bob Schwartz pokes fun at the idiosyncratic personalities of runners and the funny situations they encounter in training, eating, racing, preparing for races, and revolving their everyday lives around running.I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that every type of runner can relate to:- The intricate art of drinking on the run from paper cups- Trying to reacquaint fingers to toes after years of tight hamstrings - Hitting the wall- Having your heart flutter with the newest cushioned training shoe- Discovering cross-training contraptions designed to strengthen your gluteus to its maximus- Getting excited about the latest flavor of energy gel on the marketAs any runner with tight hamstrings and a funny bone would, you'll laugh your way through these and many other amusing stories illustrated with cartoons by artist B.K. Taylor, whose drawings have appeared in many national publications, including Mad Magazine and National Lampoon.Author Bob Schwartz is America's funniest running writer. An avid, slightly over-the-top runner himself, he has completed countless marathons (but laments that excessive glycogen depletion at the finish prevents him from fully remembering each one) as well as all race distances from the 200 Meter Kids Snowman Shuffle (where he finished second after edging out a four-year-old at the finish line) to an ultramarathon of 50 miles (a feat he has no intention of repeating). In addition to his weekly syndicated newspaper column, he has had hundreds of humorous essays published in national and regional publications, including Runner's World, FootNotes, and Fitness Runner.For anyone who loves the aromatic smell of perspiration, who enjoys the exhilaration of exhaustion, who drinks solely from squirt bottles, or whose wardrobe is filled with reflective clothing--this book is for you.

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can.This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off.In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!* Week of June 10, 2018

    It's this juxtaposition, the poet's gift for poignant love songs paired with a comedian's timing and self-deprecating wit, that has earned Jann a legion of loyal fans on the stage as well as the page. Two years after the success of her first publication if i knew, don(c)^t you think i'd tell you? (Insomniac Press), acclaimed singer / songwriter and now bestselling author Jann Arden is at it again with her second book, i'll tell you one damn thing, and that's all i know. Little escapes the observant and immensely creative Jann whose musings and entertaining ramblings travel beyond goose poop (if you don't remember, buy the first book) to ponder the state of the world, the state of the States, and the state of her hair (she really is a blonde).

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    The yoga mat sticking out of your bag is cramping your style. And the barista completely butchered your chai latte again (yes, you specifically said soy milk and light on the foam).You've got some First World Problems, friend. And we feel your pain.Acclaimed activists Craig and Marc Kielburger have witnessed firsthand some of the world's most serious troubles. And now, for a dose of perspective, they've compiled a hilarious volume of complaints heard only in the developed world. For each of these trifling tribulations, the Kielburger's draw on their experience in international development and offer suggestions for small, corresponding actions that can make an actual world difference.It's a side-splitting collection guaranteed to give pause for both gratitude and laughter. With 100 percent of the proceeds going directly to the charitable work of Free The Children, complaining will never feel this good.