Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    From the summer isles to the mysterious people next door all the way to the odd guy one cubicle over, Hand teases apart the dark strangenesses of everyday life to show us the impossibilities, broken dreams, and improbable dreams that surely can never come true.“Ten evocative novellas and stories whisper of hidden mysteries carved on the bruised consciousness of victims and victimizers. Memories and love are as dangerous as the supernatural, and Hand often denies readers neat conclusions, preferring disturbing ambiguity. The Hugo-nominated “The Maiden Flight of McCauley’s Bellerophon” marries science fiction and magical realism as three men recreate a legendary aircraft’s doomed flight for a dying woman. A grieving widower in “Near Zennor” unearths a secret of spectral kidnapping in an ancient countryside. “Hungerford Bridge,” a lesser piece, shares a secret that can only be enjoyed twice in one’s life. Celtic myth and human frailty entangle in the darkly romantic “The Far Shore.” The vicious nature of romantic love is dissected with expressionistic abandon in the dreamlike “Summerteeth.” Hand’s outsiders haunt themselves, the forces of darkness answering to the calls of their battered souls. Yet strange hope clings to these surreal elegies, insisting on the power of human emotion even in the shadow of despair. Elegant nightmares, sensuously told.”—Publishers WeeklyTable of ContentsThe Maiden Flight of McCauley’s BellerophonNear Zennor (a Shirley Jackson Award winner)Hungerford BridgeThe Far ShoreWinter’s WifeCruel Up NorthSummerteethThe Return of the Fire WitchUncle LouErrantryElizabeth Hand's novels include Shirley Jackson Award–winner Generation Loss, Mortal Love, and Available Dark.

     In Magical Mr. Goat, a young girl's imaginary friend yearns to become "more than friends." In Unprotected, an unused prophylactic recalls his years spent trapped inside a teen boy's wallet. The stories in Simon Rich's new book are bizarre, funny, and yet...relatable. Rich explores love's many complications-losing it, finding it, breaking it, and making it-and turns the ordinary into the absurd. With razor-sharp humor and illustrations, and just in time for Valentine's Day, Rich takes readers for an exhilarating, hilarious ride on the rollercoaster of love.

    Hamantaschen’s third collection of short stories delivers more inimitable dark fiction. These are eleven tales of macabre horror, filled with estrangement, honor, wonder, terror, delusion, pity, desperation and perseverance.

    mass market paperback book

    Peter Hamilton takes us on a journey from a murder mystery in an alternative Oxford in the 1800s to a story featuring Paula Myo, Deputy Director of the Intersolar Commonwealth's Serious Crimes Directorate.

    A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.These four stories, along with 14 other pieces, have one thing in common: They're short, sharp, and to the point - science fiction in miniature, with none of the stories longer than 2,300 words. But in that short space exist entire universes, absurd situations, and the sort of futuristic humor that propelled Scalzi to a Hugo with his novel Redshirts. Not to mention yogurt taking over the world (as it would).Spanning the years from 1991 to 2016, this collection is a quarter century of Scalzi at his briefest and best and features four never-before-published stories exclusive to this collection: "Morning Announcements at the Lucas Interspecies School for Troubled Youth", "Your Smart Appliances Talk About You Behind Your Back", "Important Holidays on Gronghu", and "The AI Are Absolutely Positively Without a Doubt Not Here to End Humanity, Honest".John Scalzi is the New York Times best-selling author of Old Man's War, Lock In, and Redshirts, among others. His work has won the Hugo and Locus Awards and been nominated for the Nebula and Campbell Awards. He lives in Ohio and online. He enjoys pie.Full cast of narrators includes Oliver Wyman, Dina Pearlman, and Allyson Johnson.

    Lovecraft aficionado, Foster Morley, takes a scenic bus tour through the wilds of northern Massachusetts. He wants to go where Lovecraft went, and to see what Lovecraft saw, to further distill his understanding of history's most impacting horror fantasist. When he happens upon the curious, secluded waterfront prefect known as Innswich Point-not to be found on any map-he assumes the curiosity of the name is mere coincidence, but in less than twenty-four hours he'll learn that he couldn't be more mistaken. Deeper and deeper, then, Morley delves into the queer town's dark mystique. Has his imagination run rampant, or are there far too many similarities between this furtive fishing village and the fictional town of Lovecraft's masterpiece, The Shadow Over Innsmouth? Could it be possible that Lovecraft himself actually visited this town before his death in 1937? Join splatter king Edward Lee for a private tour of Innswich Point - a town founded on perversion, torture, and abominations from the sea.

    Now from this brilliant young writer comes a groundbreaking collection of stories, many of them previously unavailable in the United States, and including four never-before-published tales–one set in Miéville’s signature fantasy world of New Crobuzon. Among the fourteen superb fictions are“Jack”–Following the events of his acclaimed novel Perdido Street Station, this tale of twisted attachment and horrific revenge traces the rise and fall of the Remade Robin Hood known as Jack Half-a-Prayer. “Familiar”–Spurned by its creator, a sorceress’s familiar embarks on a strange and unsettling odyssey of self-discovery in a coming-of-age story like no other.

    From ghosts of mind and spirit to exotic paranormal tales, each story in this volume has never before appeared in an anthology. Included are:The Silent Man, by Henry Fothergill ChorleyThe Strange Ormonds, by Leitch RitchieThe Mysterious Wedding: A Danish Story, by Heinrich SteffansThe Burial by Fire, by Louisa Medina HamblinThe Vampyre, by Elizabeth ElletThe Sleepless Woman, by William JerdanA Peep At Death, by Peter Von GeistKillcrop the Changeling, by Richard ThompsonCarl Bluven and the Strange Mariner, by Henry David InglisThe Prediction, by George Henry BorrowThe Story of the Unfinished Picture, by Charles HootenEule: The Emperor’s Dwarf, by John Rutter ChorleyThe Green Huntsman, by Joseph Holt IngrahamA Revelation of a Previous Life, by Nathaniel Parker WillisMoods of the Mind: The Old Portrait, by Emma EmburyA Night on the Enchanted Mountain, by Charles Fenno HoffmanThe Living Apparition, by G.P.R. JamesThe Three Souls, by Alexander Chatrian and Emile ErckmannThe Death Watch, by Luise MuhlbackAn Evening of Lucy Ashton’s, by Letitia Elizabeth LandonThe Haunted Homestead, by Henry William HerbertThe Withered Man, by William Leete StoneLa Malroche, by Louisa Stuart CostelloThe Three Visits, by Auguste VituLieutenant Castenac, by Erckman-ChatrianTorture by Hope, by Villiers de L’isle-AdamsThe Black Cupid, by Lafcadio HearnThe Bundle of Letters, by Moritz JokaiNissa, by Albert DelpitThe Dream, by John GaltAnd don't forget to search for "Megapack" in this ebook store for other volumes in the series, covering such subjects as ghost stories, vampire stories, science fiction, horror, adventure, and much, much more!

    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

    

    The paperback version of this book will only be available online for a very short time: until December 30. After December 30, it will vanish into the Land of Wind and Ghosts, and only the digital edition will be available. This is why I call The Day After and Other Stories "A very short collection of very short stories, available for a very short time."

    Few authors have matched the versatility and stylishness of Walter Jon Williams. His genre-defining novels have received wide critical acclaim and captured the rapt attention of fans worldwide. He has been nominated for every major SF award. The Green Leopard Plague and Other Stories contains nine bleeding-edge tales showcasing Williams’ flexibility, power-chord storytelling, and engagingly human and post-human characters. From Walter Jon Williams, author of more than twenty novels, including This Is Not a Game, Implied Spaces, and the definitive cyberpunk novel Hardwired, comes The Green Leopard Plague and Other Stories, a stunning collection of short fiction including the Nebula Award-winning stories “Daddy’s World” and “The Green Leopard Plague,” and featuring an introduction by Charles Stross, plus in-depth story notes.

    Now at last, in “Let the Old Dreams Die,” the title story in this absolutely stunning collection, we get a glimpse of what happened next to the pair. Fans of Let the Right One In will have to read the story, which is destined to generate much word of mouth both among fans and online.“Let the Old Dreams Die” is not the only stunner in this collection. In "Final Processing," Lindqvist also reveals the next chapter in the lives of the characters he created in Handling the Undead. “Equinox” is a story of a woman who takes care of her neighbor’s house while they are away and readers will never forget what she finds in the house. Every story meets the very high standard of excellence and fright factor that Lindqvist fans have come to expect. Totally transcending genre writing, these are world class stories from possibly the most impressive horror writer writing today.