The Chinese are inordinately proud of having invented, among a whole host of other things, the compass (without which the world would have got lost), paper (without which books would not exist), the printing press (ditto), porcelain (no pretty matching chinaware), silk (no decadence), pasta (what would the Italians eat?), the wheelbarrow (how would civilisation have fared without it?) and the bristle toothbrush. A guide to understanding the Chinese which dispels or confirms preconceived prejudices with humor and insight.

    The guides try to explain why things are done the way they are and they try to allay the feelings of trepidation with which the xenophobe approaches new territory. This particular book looks at the French.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    He is attached to his sausage, his insipid beer, and the young white wine that tastes so remarkably like iron filings. He prefers the familiar, tried, and tested to the novelty, the latter almost certainly being an attempt by persons unknown to make money at his expense. Kitschy, kitschy, kooHome life for the Austrians is a never-ending quest for Gemütlichkeit or coziness, which is achieved by accumulating objects that run the gamut from the pleasingly aesthetic to the mind-blowingly kitsch. Austrian autonomyIn Austria detonating pretension is a national pastime. It has to do with attitudes to power that date back to an absolutist form of government and with the self-irony developed by people who were (or thought they were) more talented than the authority to which they had to defer. A grave issueThe paradoxical character of the Austrian mingles profoundly conservative attitudes with a flair for innovation and invention. This creative tension usually takes the form of official obstructionism to good ideas, but sometimes the other way round. For example, the population were outraged by Josef II's attempt to make them adopt reusable coffins with flaps on the underside for dropping out the corpses. (The Emperor was forced to retreat, grumbling as he did so about the people's wasteful attitude.)

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    The first word between two lovers in the morning is "G'day." The other main greeting would have to be "G'day mate." The reason why this brief greeting has such universal acceptance is simple: it's the flies. The longer your mouth is open the more flies that can crawl in.'

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    They exhibit an extreme passion for freedom of choice—which has turned law circumvention into an art and has made them incapable of comprehending words like “discipline,” “co-ordination,” or “system.” There's no such thing as a meek GreekA Greek cannot talk unless he has his hands free, and a soft-spoken Greek is one who can be heard only as far as across the street. Two Greeks having an amiable conversation sound as if they are ready to murder each other, and a party of exuberant Greeks having a good time could be described as a pack of hounds that has just sighted the fox. Free spiritsMercurial in the extreme, the Greeks' temperament flourishes uninhibited throughout their waking hours. This is probably why the ancient sages saw fit to carve their maxims “Nothing in excess” and “Know thyself” on the portals of the Delphic Oracle, in an attempt to persuade their fellow Greeks to curb their emotions. They were not heeded then any more than they are now. How much does a Greek urn?In general, Greeks believe in free trade, fair dealing, and keeping one's word. They are quick at grasping (and inventing) complicated business and financial arrangements and they are past masters in acting as middlemen—which means that they are paid by both parties while risking nothing themselves.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    The guides try to explain why things are done the way they are,and they try to allay the feelings of trepidation with which the xenophobe approaches new territory. This particular book looks at the Belgians.

    If you doubt the veracity of this claim you need only consult the Viking Sagas, the greatest of all literary achievements, where this view is expressed countless times during the course of long meandering tales of murder and revenge.'Xenophobe's Motto—Forewarned is forearmed.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.