From the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated, this hilarious collection of quotes is sure to tickle the funny bone.

    In "elegant, finely honed prose" (The Washington Post Book World), Lebowitz limns the vicissitudes of contemporary urban life—its fads, trends, crazes, morals, and fashions. By turns ironic, facetious, deadpan, sarcastic, wry, wisecracking, and waggish, she is always wickedly entertaining.

    But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    For the past ten years he has been attempting to decode the numerical pattern beneath the ultimate system of ordered chaos-the stock market. As Max verges on a solution, chaos is swallowing the world around him. He is pursued by an aggressive Wall Street firm set on financial domination as well as by a Kabbalah sect intent on unlocking the secrets behind its ancient holy texts. Max races to crack the code, hoping to defy the madness that looms before him. In succeeding, he uncovers a secret everyone is willing to kill for.Also included with the screenplay is a full journal of how Darren Aronofsky made this award-winning film on a minuscule budget of $60,000, providing practical advice and inspiration to film students and offering film buffs rare insight into how an independent film is made.

    In "A Most Blessed and Auspicious Occasion," a young couple planning a wedding is forced to deal with interfering relatives dictating the appropriate number of ritual goat sacrifices. "Missed Connection--m4w" is the tragicomic tale of a pair of lonely commuters eternally failing to make that longed-for contact. The members of a rock band in "Up-and-Comers" discover they suddenly have superpowers--but only when they're drunk. And in "The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Important New York City Landmarks," a woman maps her history of romantic failures based on the places she and her significant others visited together.Equally at home with the surreal and the painfully relatable (or both at once), Bob-Waksberg delivers a killer combination of humor, romance, whimsy, cultural commentary, and crushing emotional vulnerability. The resulting collection is a punchy, perfect bloody valentine.

    The characteristic heart and punch-packing observations are back, but with a newfound coat of maturity. A thin coat. More of a blazer, really.Fans of I Was Told There'd Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number know Sloane Crosley's life as a series of relatable but madcap misadventures. In Look Alive Out There, whether it's scaling active volcanoes, crashing shivas, playing herself on Gossip Girl, befriending swingers, or staring down the barrel of the fertility gun, Crosley continues to rise to the occasion with unmatchable nerve and electric one-liners. And as her subjects become more serious, her essays deliver not just laughs but lasting emotional heft and insight. Crosley has taken up the gauntlets thrown by her predecessors―Dorothy Parker, Nora Ephron, David Sedaris―and crafted something rare, affecting, and true.Look Alive Out There arrives on the tenth anniversary of I Was Told There'd be Cake, and Crosley's essays have managed to grow simultaneously more sophisticated and even funnier. And yet she's still very much herself, and it's great to have her back―and not a moment too soon (or late, for that matter).

    Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.

    Jones Dues Dale Peck Speckle Trout Ron Rash Sphinxes Timothy Crouse Grace Paula Fox Snowbound Liza Ward Tea Nancy Reisman Christie Caitlin Macy Refuge in London Ruth Prawer Jhabvala The Drowned Woman Frances De Pontes Peebles The Card Trick Tessa Hadley What You Pawn I Will Redeem Sherman Alexie

    From maple ice cream to Z-shaped fire escapes, these poems carry a flashlight you'll want to follow: unexpected as night swimming, entertaining as a music video in sign language.

    This sidesplitting play, a testimony to David’s great writing talent, is also his first time on Broadway—in fact, his first time acting on stage since eighth grade. In Fish in the Dark Larry David stars as Norman Drexel, a man in his fifties who is average in most respects except for his hyperactive libido. As Norman and his family try to navigate the death of a loved one, old acquaintances and unsettled arguments resurface with hilarious consequences.Fish in the Dark has its world premiere at the Cort Theatre on Broadway on March 5, 2015, starring Larry David.

    As a rank amateur who just thinks he can help, this Ames alter ego quickly becomes embroiled in the search for a missing NYU coed. He moves from one scrape to the next, all while trying to escape a life of periodic alcoholism, dead-end relationships, writer’s block, and hours of Internet backgammon. Bored to Death was originally published in McSweeney’s Issue 24 and is the centerpiece of Ames’s collection of essays and fiction, The Double Life Is Twice as Good. Bored to Death Artwork © 2009 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved. HBO® and related channels and service marks are the property of Home Box Office, Inc.

    These unique expressions of Truth are both a celebration of life and an invitation to the deep and joyful surrender into the Self. Although awakened in the Zen tradition, his teachings spring spontaneously from emptiness, free of any tradition or ideology, and touch the heart in the tradition of the great mystic poets, Rumi and Hafiz.

    Includes the Academy Award winning screenplay. The original controversial ending of the novel. Many exclusive photos never published before.

    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

    The series is written and show-run by Neil himself and stars David Tennant, Michael Sheen, Jon Hamm and Miranda Richardson, to name but a few.**Includes an introduction by Neil Gaiman about bringing GOOD OMENS to the screen**In 1990, dream literary collaborators Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman published 'the funniest book they could write' about the end of the world. Now, Neil Gaiman reinvents their groundbreaking classic for 2019 with his original shooting scripts from the show, and gives readers a unique insight into his adaptation and vision for translating this iconic novel to the screen in an introductory essay.This all-new take on a tale about representatives of good and evil who join forces to prevent the coming apocalypse (which is scheduled to happen on a Saturday, just after tea) will be a joy for fans and new readers alike.