Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    Green's agile imagination constantly wrong-foots the reader. A delight." -Peter Ingham, The Telegraph "The work of a talented writer having lots of very smart fun" -- S F Winser, Booksquawk.com Smallworld is like nothing you've ever read before... truly innovative space opera from Hugo-nominated Brit SF writer Dominic Green. Mount Ararat isn't your average extrasolar agrarian colony. A world the size of an asteroid yet having Earth-standard gravity, Mount Ararat plays host to a strangely confident family whose children are protected by the Devil, a mechanical killing machine, from such passers-by as Mr von Trapp (an escapee from a penal colony), the Made (manufactured humans being hunted by the State), and the super-rich clients of a gravitational health spa established at Mount Ararat's South Pole. But it soon transpires that the Devil is harbouring an ancient and deadly secret. Enjoyed Smallworld? Its sequel Littlestar hugely expands on the universe established in the first book, with a story arc that follows troopers Beguiled-of-the-Serpent and Only-Begotten as they become embroiled in the second star-spanning war against the Made. Find out more about the Smallworld and Littlestar universe in our 3D publisher room at: http://inkflash.com/Fingerpress

    Without warning, Beth suddenly finds herself embroiled in a sinister series of events that threaten to destroy everything she holds dear. All seems lost for Beth until she receives an offer of help from an unlikely visitor — a former gangland fixer by the name of Clement. However, there’s one minor issue in that Clement claims he died in 1975 and been sent to help Beth to atone for his actions in a previous life.With just seven days to avoid a fate she’d rather not contemplate, Beth reluctantly joins her deluded, politically-incorrect companion on a quest across London in search of a solution. Will this unlikely partnership succeed? Will Clement ever come to terms with paying five quid for a pint? And will Beth ever learn the truth about who sent Clement?

    He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.

    Bliss! But it’s not long before he discovers that school nursing is not all permission slips, sniffles and gift baskets. Disastrous school trips; after hours dorm sleepovers; awkward sex education classes; culture clashes; swine flu panic; and kids with six-figure bank balances and a taste for bribery. This is nursing as you’ve never seen it before.What goes on behind the gates of one of the world’s most elite boarding schools? What happens when kids from all over the world – Russia, Africa, America, Saudi Arabia – live, learn and grow under one roof? What happens when it’s left to school staff to teach children the facts of life, and lust?Following on from the hugely successful Confessions of a Male Nurse, Michael Alexander is back with more touching, shocking and often laugh-out-loud funny tales of nursing. In Confessions of a School Nurse, Alexander tells all on boarding school life – as a nurse, parent, and Average Joe, he offers a unique perspective on this strange world.

    Each person who has ever lived has five Numbers on their arm, defining the five primary attributes of that person. Throughout someone's life, these will increase with time and effort, and all of society revolves around these Numbers. What happens when this natural system of Numbers, the basis of all of society for all of history...changes?

    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.

    . . isn’t?Freya has the best life – she’s officially in love and her floristry business, Blooming Brilliant, is going from strength to strength.Two years ago, it was a different story. She was barely employed as the worst waitress in the world, with no hope of a boyfriend, and no bank balance. But then she got BBest, a lifestyle app that knows you better than you know yourself. It changed everything. It streamlined her life, taking her likes and dislikes and skills and foibles, and gave her the best options so she doesn’t make mistakes anymore. Freya has never looked back – and neither has anyone else. Everyone loves BBest, it’s a game changer.But if she’s so in love, why doesn’t it feel exactly right? And who is that mysterious man in her beloved grandfather’s bookshop with soulful eyes that leave her unstitched? All of a sudden Freya has so many questions – and no one seems to be able to answer them. She begins to wonder what she really agreed to when she let BBest into her life. Then her grandfather is arrested, and Freya is thrust into a world she could never have imagined in her shiny, successful existence.When you have the perfect life, should you listen to your head or your heart?

    He strikes in broad daylight, yet no one ever sees him.His target?Garden gnomes ...

    Death Devours: With the threat of the First now behind her, Natalie Pierce has little time to celebrate before yet another problem arises. By killing the first vampire ever made, she inadvertently set his ancient enemies free. Ten withered, starving creatures have now been unleashed from forty thousand years of forced entombment.Only Natalie and her vampire kin have the strength and speed to eradicate the inundation of fledgling undead that are about to rise. The last thing Nat ever wanted to do was rule but destiny cannot be denied. In her role as Mortis, she must bring her kin together or the entire human population will be destroyed. Somehow, she must find a way for the Japanese and European vampire nations to put aside their ancient enmity and work together for a common cause.Death Betrays: Having destroyed a horde of fledgling vampires with the help of her friends and allies, Natalie Pierce’s hunt still isn't over. Their foe has fled from Africa with the intention of creating a new army of undead slaves to turn the human race into their cattle. Nat begins to feel uneasy about the fragile alliance between the Japanese and European vampire nations as well as the truce they have with the human soldiers. Both she and Kokoro know that death and darkness awaits their kind. A betrayal is coming that will tear their alliances apart. Their fate has been decided but neither yet knows exactly how or when their dwindling species will be decimated. Death Banishes: Evicted from their own world by the humans that they had twice saved, Natalie Pierce and her few remaining kin float in the void of space inside the ship that has become an icy tomb. Rescue comes in the form of an alien spacecraft and Nat and her friends are soon facing adversaries that they have never encountered before. Their dwindling species is on the brink of extinction and it quickly becomes apparent that their new enemies would be only too happy to finish them off once and for all.

     I knew Rhett could take care of himself. After all, he’s hotter than hell and a shifter himself. But he’s my partner and when his wife divorces him while undercover, I know something’s up. And I intend to find out what—even if that means risking everything to do it. I couldn’t have counted on his devotion to me or the risk it would put us both under when he came searching for answers of his own. In the end, it will be a matter of who’s more important to my sexy, heartbroken partner—his ex or his mate. This box set includes: Rookie Shift Undercover Shift Stolen Shift Last Shift Author's Note: This is a collection of stand alone HEA stories intended for 18

    By the author of 'The Deal'.

    But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.