For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    Soon after, he began his acting career, and since then he has worked with all the greats, from Laurence Olivier to Steven Spielberg.Best known for his comic roles in the Carry On and Doctor series, he took the decision in later life to take on more serious roles in films such as Empire of the Sun, Out of Africa and Scandal, as well as performing in plays such as The Cherry Orchard.Packed with hilarious anecdotes, in this long-awaited autobiography he recalls some of the great characters he has worked with, and also highlights how different he is in real life from his onscreen persona as a bounder. It is a fascinating story, brilliantly told.

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.

    That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.

    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

    As Johnny Knoxville so succinctly put it, Nieratko is an asshole, but whether Chris is rescuing a stalker from choking on her own vomit, getting his nose broken for having AIDS (he doesn't) or marrying the one woman that could put up with his insanity, his life sounds so much like a collection of hilarious bar stories it's impossible not to grab a beer and listen to the whole thing.

    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.

    has become one of Hollywood's most shining, distinctive stars thanks to scene-stealing roles in films like Iron Man, Zodiac, and Sherlock Holmes. This book takes an in-depth, insightful look at his work in front of the camera as well as his life behind the spotlight. It reveals details of his film debut at age five playing a puppy in his father's underground cult film, his attempt at becoming a comedian during an ill-fated stint as a Saturday Night Live cast member, how he burst onto the scene with his moving performance in Less than Zero, and how he charmed Hollywood with his Oscar-nominated turn as troubled funny man Charlie Chaplin. With a life that has had more twist and turns than the plots of some of his acclaimed movies, Robert Downey Jr.'s journey from hellraiser to Hollywood royalty is shocking, moving, funny, and inspirational.

    And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career.This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It's a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He's been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you'll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.

    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

    Suddenly with no place to hide from the reality we realize life is all cracked up. Through the lens of our pain everything seems broken, bruised, and battered. But, as best-selling author Patsy Clairmont points out, there's a redeemer of our pain--Jesus. The Redeemer of the broken and discarded who mends our hearts, and even gives us a reason to laugh again.Telling inspirational stories of women's brokenness and healing, with tenderness and her trademark humor, Patsy Clairmont helps us realize that we're not alone in our struggles. Jesus buoys our spirits and refreshes our tired minds. As Patsy says, "life is so much easier to bear when its shared.'