In one afterlife, you may find that God is the size of a microbe and unaware of your existence. In another version, you work as a background character in other people’s dreams. Or you may find that God is a married couple, or that the universe is running backward, or that you are forced to live out your afterlife with annoying versions of who you could have been. With a probing imagination and deep understanding of the human condition, acclaimed neuroscientist David Eagleman offers wonderfully imagined tales that shine a brilliant light on the here and now.

    In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman’s perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, “I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there’s only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I’m Italian.” The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.In this collection, you’ll laugh about:• Being caught braless in the emergency room• Betty and Veronica’s Life Lessons for Girls• A man’s most important body part• Interrupting as an art form• A religion men and women can worship• Real estate ads as porn• Spanx are public enemy number one• And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!

    Our governments are corrupt and the opposing parties pointlessly similar. Our culture is filled with vacuity and pap, and we are told there’s nothing we can do: “It’s just the way things are.”   In this book, Russell Brand hilariously lacerates the straw men and paper tigers of our conformist times and presents, with the help of experts as diverse as Thomas Piketty and George Orwell, a vision for a fairer, sexier society that’s fun and inclusive.   You have been lied to, told there’s no alternative, no choice, and that you don’t deserve any better. Brand destroys this illusory facade as amusingly and deftly as he annihilates Morning Joe anchors, Fox News fascists, and BBC stalwarts.   This book makes revolution not only possible but inevitable and fun.

    Get ready to hear it again - from real-life comedy all-stars! This Audible Original production pairs the paragon of comedy with six of the funniest famous people he’s inspired: Will Ferrell, Jimmy Kimmel, Lisa Kudrow, Conan O’Brien, Judd Apatow, and Sarah Silverman. Bob Newhart matches wits with a handpicked cast of entertainment luminaries as they exchange never-before-heard personal anecdotes and, yes, jokes. Using his trademark deadpan and signature charm, Bob banters with his celebrated guests, drawing out their most interesting stories and telling his own. Listening is such a kick - you’ll understand why Bob has been a wellspring for contemporary comedy talent. Foreword by Marc Maron. Chapters in Hi Bob!: 1. Foreword 2. Prologue 3. "I Was an Accountant" 4. "That Would Be Ridiculous" 5. "I Still Love Radio" 6. "Comedy Is Better Than College" 7. "Week to Week Contract" 8. "Hold for Laughs" 9. "You're Shootin' My Ear, Man!" 10. "I Thought You Were Overdoing It" 11. "Yes, We're Friends" 12. "Rickles" 13. "Vegas" 14. "Dying Every Night" 15. "If You're Terrified, You're Doing It Right" 16. "The Magic Pen" 17. "Stop Me If You've Heard This One" 18. "Can't Change with the Times?" 19. "Some Parting Advice" 20. Epilogue

    For each volume, a series editor reads pieces from hundreds of periodicals, then selects between fifty and a hundred outstanding works. That selection is pared down to the twenty or so very best pieces by a guest editor who is widely recognized as a leading writer in his or her field. This unique system has helped make the Best American series the most respected -- and most popular -- of its kind.The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2002 is a selection for young people of the best literature from mainstream and alternative American periodicals: from the New Yorker, Jane, Rolling Stone, Zyzzyva, Vibe, The Onion, Spin, Epoch, Time, Little Engines, Modern Humorist, Esquire, and more. Dave Eggers has chosen the highlights of 2001 for this genre-busting collection that includes new fiction, essays, satire, journalism -- and much more. From Eric Schlosser on french fries to Elizabeth McKenzie on awful family to Seaton Smith on how to "jive" with your teen, The Best American Nonrequried Reading 2002 is the first and the best.

    Martin’s Introduction to Warriors:“People have been telling stories about warriors for as long as they have been telling stories. Since Homer first sang the wrath of Achilles and the ancient Sumerians set down their tales of Gilgamesh, warriors, soldiers, and fighters have fascinated us; they are a part of every culture, every literary tradition, every genre. All Quiet on the Western Front, From Here to Eternity, and The Red Badge of Courage have become part of our literary canon, taught in classrooms all around the country and the world.Our contributors make up an all-star lineup of award-winning and bestselling writers, representing a dozen different publishers and as many genres. We asked each of them for the same thing — a story about a warrior. Some chose to write in the genre they’re best known for. Some decided to try something different. You will find warriors of every shape, size, and color in these pages, warriors from every epoch of human history, from yesterday and today and tomorrow, and from worlds that never were. Some of the stories will make you sad, some will make you laugh, and many will keep you on the edge of your seat.” Every story in this volume appears hre for the first time. Included are a long novella from the world of Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, a new tale of Lord John by Diana Gabaldon, an Emberverse story by S.M. Stirling, a Forever Peace sory by Joe Haldeman, and a long story of humanity at bay by David Weber. Also present are original tales by David Ball, Peter S. Beagle, Lawrence Block, Gardner Dozois, Robin Hobb, Cecelia Holland, Joe R. Lansdale, David Morrell, Naomi Novik, James Rollins, Steven Saylor, Robert Silverberg, Carrie Vaughn, Howard Waldrop, and Tad Williams.Many of these writers are bestsellers. All of them are storytellers of the highest quality. Together they make a volume of unforgettable reading.Contents:- Introduction: Stories from the Spinner Rack by George R.R. Martin- The King of Norway by Cecelia Holland- Forever Bound by Joe Haldeman- The Triumph by Robin Hobb- Clean Slate by Lawrence Block- And Ministers of Grace by Tad Williams- Soldierin' by Joe R. Lansdale- Dirae by Peter S. Beagle- The Custom of the Army by Diana Gabaldon- Seven Years from Home by Naomi Novik- The Eagle and the Rabbit by Steven Saylor- The Pit by James Rollins- Out of the Dark by David Weber- The Girls from Avenger by Carrie Vaughn- Ancient Ways by S.M. Stirling- Ninieslando by Howard Waldrop- Recidivist by Gardner Dozois- My Name is Legion by David Morrell- Defenders of the Frontier by Robert Silverberg- The Scroll by David Ball- The Mystery Knight: A Tale of the Seven Kingdoms by George R.R. Martin

    The results are individual glimpses of a shared vision, and a reading experience unlike any you've had before.A strange man comes to an even stranger encampment...a bouncer becomes the linchpin of an unexpected urban movement...a courier on the run has to decide who to trust in a dangerous city...a slacker in a "zero-footprint" town gets a most unusual new job...and a weapons investigator uses his skills to discover a metropolis hidden right in front of his eyes.Welcome to the future of cities. Welcome to Metatropolis.Contents:Introduction (METAtropolis) - essay by John ScalziIn the Forests of the Night - novella by Jay LakeStochasti-city - novella by Tobias S. BuckellThe Red in the Sky Is Our Blood - novelette by Elizabeth BearUtere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis - novella by John ScalziTo Hie from Far Cilenia - novella by Karl Schroeder

    He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can't remember why he's come to see the doctor. A woman with a common cold demanding (but not receiving) antibiotics. A man with a sore knee. A young woman who has been trying to conceive for a while but now finds herself pregnant and isn't sure she wants to go through with it. A 7-year-old boy with 'tummy aches' that don't really exist.These are his patients.Confessions of a GP is a witty insight into the life of a family doctor. Funny and moving in equal measure it will change the way you look at your GP next time you pop in with the sniffles.

    Inside you will find:× The smell of honeysuckle× Heartbreak× A French-kissing rabbit× A haunted house× Death× A vagina singing sad old songs× Young geraniums in an ancient castle× Birth× A dog who appears in dreams as a spiritual guide× Divorce× Electromagnetic energy fields× Emotional horniness× The ghost of a sea captain× And moreI hope you enjoy these little weirds.Love,Jenny Slate

    

    Each volume’s series editor selects notable works from hundreds of magazines, journals, and websites. A special guest editor, a leading writer in the field, then chooses the best twenty or so pieces to publish. This unique system has made the Best American series the most respected — and most popular — of its kind.The Best American Short Stories 2012 includesThe last speaker of the language / Carol Anshaw --Pilgrim life / Taylor Antrim --What we talk about when we talk about Anne Frank / Nathan Englander --The other place / Mary Gaitskill --North Country / Roxane Gay --Paramour / Jennifer Haigh --Navigators / Mike Meginnis --Miracle polish / Steven Millhauser --Axis / Alice Munro --Volcano / Lawrence Osborne --Diem Perdidi / Julie Otsuka --Honeydew / Edith Pearlman --Occupational hazard / Angela Pneuman --Beautiful monsters / Eric Puchner --Tenth of December / George Saunders --The sex lives of African girls / Taiye Selasi --Alive / Sharon Solwitz --M&M world / Kate Walbert --Anything helps / Jess Walter --What's important is feeling / Adam Wilson

    Every essay is crafted with the same scathing wit and poignant candor thousands of loyal readers have come to expect from visiting her notoriously hilarious blog.

    Yet most of us utter that sound every day. And have used it all our lives...Uh-oh is way up near the top of a list of small syllables with large meanings...Uh-oh...is a frame of mind. A philosophy. It says to expect the unexpected., and also expect to be able to deal with it as it happens most of the time. Uh-oh people seem not only to expect surprise, but they count on it, as if surprise were a dimension of vitality."These words from the opening of Uh-oh describe a special vitality that, in fact, infuses the writings of Robert Fulghum with the incomparable joie de vivre and sense of wonder that have made his books, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It, modern classic, translated into twenty-five languages.In this third volume, Fulghum explores a variety of subjects from both sides of the refrigerator door—from meatloaf to the Salvation Army Band, from fireflies to funerals, from hiccups to a watch without hands. One again, Fulghum celebrates everyday life in all its richness, subtly weaving a theme of balance throughout, balance between the mundane and the holy, between humor and grief, and between what is and what might be.

    Stories so compelling you'll stay in your car to hear them through--even if you're sitting in your own driveway. "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! "host Peter Sagal captures your attention with colorful tales for and about moms. Heard in "All Things Considered, Weekend Edition, News & Notes," and other NPR programs, these stories and more are for moms, moms-to-be, and anyone who has ever known or had a mother.

    "The Red Bow,"about a town consumed by pet-killing hysteria, won a 2004 National Magazine Award and "Bohemians," the story of two supposed Eastern European widows trying to fit in in suburban USA, is included in The Best American Short Stories 2005. His new book includes both unpublished work, and stories that first appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's, and Esquire. The stories in this volume work together as a whole whose impact far exceeds the simple sum of its parts. Fans of Saunders know and love him for his sharp and hilarious satirical eye. But In Persuasion Nation also includes more personal and poignant pieces that reveal a new kind of emotional conviction in Saunders's writing.Saunders's work in the last six years has come to be recognized as one of the strongest-and most consoling-cries in the wilderness of the millennium's political and cultural malaise. In Persuasion Nation's sophistication and populism should establish Saunders once and for all as this generation's literary voice of wisdom and humor in a time when we need it most.