Ex-players, close friends, journalists, managers and former colleagues reveal their astonishing brushes with the greatest football manager England never had. The stories are cherry-picked from two acclaimed books - 150BC: Cloughie the Inside Stories and Clough: Confidential. An additional 242 stories can be found in these two volumes. So, enter the whirlwind world of Old Big 'Ead and prepare to be entertained.

    On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

    Her new autobiography holds nothing back.     In it she will talk about:   • Her controversial marriage to stripper Kieran;    • Their very public split after he slept with one of her oldest friends;    • Her difficult pregnancy and the fear she felt giving birth to her fifth child prematurely;    • The continued joy and challenges of looking after her severely disabled son, Harvey;    • Her public battle with Peter Andre, and the truth behind his allegations;    • Why she forgave her third husband Kieran Hayler, and the truth behind his affair with Jane Pountney; And much, much more.

    

    

    

    In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

    The police are on holiday. Everyone knows that with Rahul and Ravi around, crime is on a downtime. Or so they’d like to believe. From missing vegetables to escaped convicts the detectives will chase down any crime... that’s if they don’t trip and fall over their own laces to begin with!Defective Detectives? Who are they?Rahul and Ravi are Tinkle’s infamous Defective Detectives, who have vowed to solve every mystery on this planet. And if and when there is no mystery, rest assured they will invent one! You see, with their overactive imagination which sees a mystery behind every bush and their unwavering determination to see everyone as a criminal, the duo are always hot on the heels of trouble or more often than not, trouble is hot on their heels! Either way, it is no mystery that absolute pandemonium is bound to follow when these two are aboard. So stick around close. It would be a crime to miss out on all the madness and mayhem that breaks loose in the world of the Defective Detectives!The series was created by Tinkle reader Anisha Hariharan and illustrated by Abhijeet Kini.Meet the Cool CastSamhita aka Sam: Ravi’s sister, smart-aleck and a general pain in their necks, Sam is actually clever and manages to solve cases. However she’s left dismayed when the boys’ misadventures often swing the credit to them! Is there more?Rahul and Ravi are hot on the tail of someone who they think is a criminal mastermind. After all, who else plans the robbing of a bank, the kidnapping of a prince and the theft of a jewel all at one go? Later, when it seems like there’s no crime to solve, the Dynamic Duo chance upon a dog that seems suspiciously robotic... which means it will terrorise people and take control of the city! And a new face appears in the neighbourhood... the face of a pirate! What will the Defective Detectives do? What new outlandish theory will they come up with and what mayhem will they cause? Laugh along at their misadventures!About TinkleContinuously published since 1980, Tinkle is one of the oldest and most cherished children’s comics magazines in India. It boasts of a large fan following and beloved characters that include such household names as Suppandi, Shikari Shambu and Tantri the Mantri.

    Thus CHACHA CHAUDHARY was born in 1971.Tall and robust SABU, who is an inhabitant of planet Jupiter, gave Chaudhary an ideal company. A combination of wisdom and strength was formed to tackle any difficult task. It is said that " Chacha Chaudhary's brain works faster than a computer". Though both fight the criminals and tricksters, each episode ends with a touch of humour. The duo perform in lighter vein. The CHAUDHARY family consists of his wife Bini, a fat sharp tongue woman, Sabu, Rocket - the dog and Dag- Dag, an old truck who is half human- half machine. Chacha Chaudhary is the most popular Indian comics. More than 10 million readers enjoy this series regularly in newspapers and comic books in ten languages. A T.V. serial based on the comics has crossed 500 episodes and still continue to be telecast on premier channel "Sahara ONE".

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.