For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours.In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This must-have book for all fans--and who isn't a fan?--remains available in both paperback and hardcover.

    Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.

    But then he realised that getting there might be a problem, and when he did, there'd probably be nothing much to write about. Until he heard about a manhole cover, on a small street, in a small town, tucked away in a remote part of Idaho.The manhole cover had been declared the Centre of the Universe. The mayor had the science to back it up. The town rejoiced.And the name of the town?Wallace.It was a cosmic coincidence Danny couldn't resist...

    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

     For many, depression is associated with shame and humiliation -- even a lack of faith. But in this refreshingly honest and oh-so-very-real revelation of one woman's journey through depression, you'll hear the voice of a kind friend. And in her words you'll find hope and renewed confidence that will guide you through your own darkness and into the light. If you are currently suffering from depression -- this book will help you realize you're not alone.If you have a loved one dealing with depression -- this book will help you understand.If you are a mental-health professional -- you now have a new tool to encourage your clients. Along with the humor, Chonda shares practical insight, biblical teaching, emotional support, and sympathetic concern. Whether you've experienced depression in your own life or in the life of someone you love, this friend has something to offer you: help, hope and, believe it or not, plenty of laughter.

    Back then 'The Origins of the Industrial Revolution' somehow seemed less compelling than the chance to test the bold claim on Timothy Johnson's 'Shatterproof' ruler. But here at last is a chance to have a good laugh and learn all that stuff you feel you really ought to know by now...In this "Horrible History for Grown Ups", you can read how Anglo-Saxon liberals struggled to be positive about immigration; 'Look I think we have to try and respect the religious customs of our new Viking friends - oi, he's nicked my bloody ox!' Discover how England's peculiar class system was established by some snobby French nobles whose posh descendants still have wine cellars and second homes in the Dordogne today. And explore the complex socio-economic reasons why Britain's kings were the first in Europe to be brought to heel; (because the Stuarts were such a useless bunch of untalented, incompetent, arrogant, upper-class thickoes that Parliament didn't have much choice.) A book about then that is also incisive and illuminating about now, "2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge" is a hilarious, informative and cantankerous journey through Britain' fascinating and bizarre history. It is as entertaining as a witch burning, and a lot more laughs.

    This is the hilarious and touching real-life diary she kept during that fateful year - with characters like her evil friend Bethany, Bethany's besotted boyfriend, and the boys from the grammar school up the road (who have code names like Haddock and Battered Sausage).My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary evokes a vanished time when Charles and Di are still together, the Berlin wall is up, Kylie is expected to disappear from the charts at any moment and it's £1 for a Snakebite and Black in the Vaults pub. My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary will appeal to anyone who's lived through the 1980s. But it will also strike a chord with anyone who's ever been a confused, lonely teenager who clashes with their mother, takes themselves VERY seriously and has no idea how hilarious they are.

    They've since amassed a rabid fan base, making "Stuff You Should Know" one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Armed with their inquisitive natures and a passion for sharing, they uncover the weird, fascinating, delightful, or unexpected elements of a wide variety of topics.The pair have now taken their near-boundless "whys" and "hows" from your earbuds to the pages of a book for the first time—featuring a completely new array of subjects that they’ve long wondered about and wanted to explore. Each chapter is further embellished with snappy visual material to allow for rabbit-hole tangents and digressions—including charts, illustrations, sidebars, and footnotes. Follow along as the two dig into the underlying stories of everything from the origin of Murphy beds, to the history of facial hair, to the psychology of being lost.Have you ever wondered about the world around you, and wished to see the magic in everyday things? Come get curious with Stuff You Should Know. With Josh and Chuck as your guide, there’s something interesting about everything (…except maybe jackhammers).

    Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is—or was—a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea 'Elsa' Bubb, the Principal of Darkness. She doesn't make mistakes. She personally sees to it that Heck—whether it be home-ec class with Lizzie Borden, ethics with Richard Nixon, or gym with Blackbeard the Pirate—is especially, well, heckish for the Fausters. Will Milton and Marlo find a way to escape? Or are they stuck here for all eternity, or until they turn 18, whichever comes first?

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    Tori Spelling might have grown up with everything a girl could wish for, but these days she's just another suburban working mom...whose toddler regularly recognizes her in the pages of Us Weekly. Welcome to Mommywood, where the stars are two feet tall and your neighbors know who you are before you move in. Like most parents, Tori wants her children to have the one thing she didn't have as a kid -- a normal family. On their hit Oxygen reality show, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, the starlet and her husband Dean McDermott regularly wrestle dirty diapers, host the neighborhood block party, and tackle temper tantrums on the red carpet. But when the cameras aren't rolling, Tori's still having awkward run-ins with a former 90210 costar at a laser tag birthday party, scooping rogue poo out of the kiddie pool on a resort vacation, and racing to win back her pre-baby body before the media starts calling her fat. For all her suburban fantasies, Tori Spelling is no June Cleaver. With the same down-to-earth wit that made her entertaining memoir sTORI telling a #1 New York Times bestseller, Tori tells the hilarious and humbling stories of life as a mom in the limelight. From learning to be the kind of parent her own mother never was to revealing what it's like to raise a family while everyone is watching, Mommywood is an irresistible snapshot of celebrity parenthood that you won't get from the paparazzi.

    Tom Junod's Esquire profile of Fred Rogers, "Can You Say... Hero?," has been hailed as a classic of magazine writing. Now, his moving story of meeting and observing the beloved host of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood is the inspiration for A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, directed by Marielle Heller and written by Micah Fitzerman-Blue & Noah Harpster.Here, Junod's unforgettable piece appears for the first time in book form alongside an inspiring collection of advice and encouragement from Mister Rogers himself. Covering topics like relationships, childhood, communication, parenthood, and more, Rogers's signature sayings and wise thoughts are included here. Pairing the definitive portrait of a national icon with his own instructions for living your best, kindest life, this book is a timeless treasure for Mister Rogers fans.

    Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children.

    I’m a writer and actress living in New York with a husband, two dogs, and a baby. When I got married, I made all sorts of vows and promises, some of which I intended to keep (and others I just said in the moment to make my husband come faster). My life was exciting, sexy, and ever so slightly eccentric, with a man who fully embraced my crazy. He understood my need to occasionally stalk his ex-girlfriend or wear her old beach caftans around our house. He showed compassion when I got kicked off of jury duty for accidentally befriending the defendant over lunch break. He even found it sweet when I invited our drug dealer to Passover seder so he didn’t think we were only using him for drugs.Then we had our son, Sid, and overnight, the fun-loving woman-child that my husband fell in love with was banished from our home. It was time to grow up, to be responsible, to brush my hair, to take vitamins, to send holiday cards, to listen to my voicemail. But what if I didn’t want any of those things? What if I wasn’t ready to be a role model because I still envisioned being discovered at the mall and becoming a real model? (Or at the very least a Top Model.) Sure, I was thirty-five but my boobs were only eighteen.This book is about how terrifying and maddening it is to love something more than yourself. It addresses the important questions that all women face: Have I done enough with my life? How do I break up with my dogs now that I’ve met someone new? Is it weird to draw eyebrows on a baby? Is my house haunted? Will taking ayahuasca in Peru affect my son’s chances of getting into preschool?Live Fast Die Hot is an unapologetic look at life after thirty, when I realized that maybe being terrified of responsibility just means that I actually care. And if so, I’m at least halfway there—right?First comes miscarriage --The curious incident of the night nurse in the daytime --NILF --Sleeping in the doghouse --Atlas rugged --Manhattan Marlboro mystery --Hell is other people's children --Some bodies that I used to know --Amazon primed

    Mangled Moments of Western Civilization from Term Papers & Blue Book Exams Did You Know:Cesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March when he is reported to have said, "Me too, Brutus!"Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill, and Truman were known as the "Big Three"Rasputin was a pheasant by birthJudyism had one big God named YahooWestward expansion ended at Custard's Last StandMarie Curie won the Noel Prize for inventing the radiatorThe Civil Rights movement turned the corner with Martin Luther Junior's famous "If I Had a Hammer" speech