Book picks similar to
Clovenhoof's Diary: October by Heide Goody
humor
paranormal
short-stories
no-audiobook
How to Fly a Pig
Willow Mason - 2021
As a witch, albeit a weak example, it's a pleasure to reconnect with my mother's old coven. Unfortunately, the welcome home sours when we find a body in the woods behind my house.With a newly appointed supreme keen to avoid the attention of the governing national coven, I volunteer to uncover the culprit behind the despicable crime. A decision made before my oversized familiar and a handsome paranormal investigator start to trample all over the crime scene.As the case widens, and leads tangle, I must call on all the powers at my disposal to rid the coven of a threat worse than any sanction the national coven could apply. I mean, everything will probably work out okay… then again, pigs might fly.
The Last Assignment: A Ghost Story
Benedict Ashforth - 2015
A photographer reluctantly agrees to take images of an abandoned manor house on the Dorset cliff tops only to find the building is not completely empty. . .
Beware The Boogerman
D. Glenn Casey - 2018
Hopefully.They have to look after the peace and quiet in a small town that has the unfortunate nickname “Monster Town.” Why in the world would the town be called that? Well, let’s just say that the residents of this little burg are a bit unusual and leave it at that.Anyway, what would happen if a terror came drifting into town that could scare the bejeezus out of any law abiding monster? Find out when the sheriff and his deputies go on the hunt for the Boogerman.
Zombies versus Aliens versus Vampires versus Dinosaurs
Jeff Abugov - 2015
It is an epic battle for the preservation of our planet, and no one is left out. Oh, and some of them fall in love.
Pulling Up Stakes
Peter David - 2012
So are we.Sick of the entire unlife of vampires?Yeah. So is Vince Hammond.Unfortunately, Vince is in it up to his (wait for it) neck. Because Vince is a young vampire hunter who lives with his vampire hunter mother in an entire community of vampire hunters, who in turn are part of a cult of vampire hunters going back all the way to the French Revolution, which many believe to be an uprising of the poor against the rich but was actually a massive purging of vampires from the French nobility (hence the guillotine; way more efficient than shoving stakes into their hearts.)And here's Vince's major problem: he's a vampire. But he dare not "come out of the coffin," as it were, and reveal his true nature, because his mother will literally kill him. And if she doesn't manage it, she has lots of friends and neighbors to help make sure that happens.So instead Vince has to keep his head down and hunt his own kind while making sure not to actually kill them since, for the most part, vampires are law-abiding citizens who drink from eagerly volunteering "Wanna V's" hoping for their own shot at the night life. But when some out-of-town hunters show up with a very personal connection to Vince, his two worlds are going to collide in a way that may wind up forcing Vince to run for the hills...assuming he can get far enough away before Mom hunts him down.Part 1 of 2
Graves Pact (Landon Graves Book 1)
Matthew C Stinson - 2015
Though he keeps the supernatural aspects of his life secret, a murder case threatens to bring him out into the open. But that’s a minor concern compared to what will happen if he doesn’t catch the killer before the completion of a powerful ritual that will bring about the apocalypse. Landon must exploit the dark side of his nature and delve into the hidden world of the supernatural in order to stop it. Graves Pact is an action-packed urban fantasy with a wry sense of humor.
Unholy
Kellee L. Greene - 2018
Fear the fight. After the disease wiped out most of the population, Kate Black had to survive on her own. She kept herself hidden from the infected, only venturing out when she needed food or water. But when Kate is found by other survivors, being rescued isn’t anything like how she’d imagined. Now, trapped inside a town led by a man filled with nothing but evil, Kate fears for her life daily. She has access to food, water, and shelter, but she wants nothing more than to escape, even if that means she must live among the infected. The only problem is, she isn’t allowed to leave, and even thinking about it could get her killed. Will Kate be able to break free, or will she die trying?
The Horror Collection: Black Edition
Becky NarronLee McGeorge - 2019
Featuring stories by Richard Chizmar, Mark Lukens, Michael A. Arnzen, Eric J. Guignard, Veronica Smith, Lee McGeorge, James Matthew Byers & Kevin J. Kennedy
Horror in the Woods
Steph Young - 2017
and the possible answers behind it. The Woods will never be the same again... Steph Young has appeared on National radio shows including "Coast to Coast Am," "Midnight in the Desert," "Where did the road go?" "The Unexplained," & "Darkness Radio." Steph Young is an independent researcher, addicted to researching all Supernatural, Paranormal, Esoteric and enigmatic Mysteries. Each book seems to lead to further questions and searches for answers, as the Mysteries inevitably deepen & develop into ever more complex riddles in the spectrum of the Unknown.... Creepy true tales of strange disappearances in the woods, unexplained vanishings & mysterious Deaths. Creepy Mysteries of the Unexplained. Unexplained Disappearances & Missing people; True Stories. ....Things can get strange when you're alone in the woods....and something in the woods is taking People; something unknown that we cannot define; something that others have had the misfortune to encounter. People snatched soundlessly, never to be seen again. Or returned; dead. A strange and highly unusual predator. Highly intelligent. Very successful. And able to overpower someone in an instant.... This is a puzzle. An often deadly one. People are disappearing in the Woods. Screams heard in the distance; or, just ominous silence... The primal fear of something dangerous lurking, coming closer…..For some people, this can turn into a deadly reality. For those left behind, there is only confusion, fear, panic…..The Woods will never be the same again....
The Proper Care and Feeding of Zombies: A Completely Scientific Guide to the Lives of the Undead
Mac Montandon - 2010
A scientific look at zombies-the ultimate guide to how the other half lives (or not)How fast and far would a zombie infection spread? What would a nutritionist say about an all-brain diet? Why are the undead so pissed off? Here are the answers to all of your essential zombie questions (you know you've asked them), with a lively, science-based exploration of every aspect of the undead.First book to examine the possible science of our undead brethren, from what a zombie brain looks like to why zombies don't get fatFact-based approach-looks at zombies through the lens of real sciencePerfect gift for zombies (assuming they could read) and zombie-philesDripping with great zombie factoids and insights, The Proper Care and Feeding of Zombies will flesh out your understanding of the living dead.
True Stories of the Paranormal: The Complete Collection
Cindy Parmiter - 2017
Also included are stories of ghost animals, haunted houses, vengeful spirits, guardian angels and much, much more. Many of the stories you are about to read will warm your heart, while others will leave you in a cold sweat. Sit back and relax. Make sure you are locked in safe and sound as you settle in for a scary read. Oh, and if you hear a strange noise in the hallway, don't worry, it's probably just the house settling. Well, maybe not.
Tales from the Gas Station, Vol. 1
Jack Townsend - 2018
The long hours. The helpless customers. The enormous eldritch horror living deep below the building… As the only full-time employee at the twenty-four hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. But when he decides to start an online journal documenting the bizarre day-to-day occurrences, he unwittingly attracts the attention of much more than just a few conspiracy theorists. With the body count steadily on the rise and a dark, ancient force infecting the dreams of everyone around him, Jack will do everything in his power to stay out of the way and mind his own business. After all, he’s just a gas station clerk. It’s not like he’s getting paid enough to wage battle against the nightmarish aberrations plaguing his community. Besides, he already has his hands full attempting to manage all those mysterious lawn gnomes, the mutant raccoons, and the charming phantom cowboy who lives in the bathroom. Based on the award-winning creepypasta by GasStationJack, Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One is a love letter to the pioneers of classic horror tailored to a generation that grew up in the era of smartphones and WiFi.
Alien Invasion of the Zombie Apocalypse
Ford Forkum - 2012
Landing dead center at a college campus swarming with zombies, the aliens soon realize that their abduction mission is going to be quite a bit more complicated than they'd imagined. The presence of vampires only makes the situation worse.Will the human race prevail or be forced to relocate to an alien planet? Is there any way to reverse the zombie plague? Is the plague contagious to aliens and can an alien be turned into a vampire? What if a vampire alien became a zombie, then was bitten by a radioactive spider and then possessed by the ghost of a robot werewolf? That last part doesn't happen in the story, but what if it did? Find out what becomes of humanity in this hodgepodge of dystopian absurdity.
Marching Bands Are Just Homeless Orchestras
Tim Siedell - 2010
The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.
It Was You Who Made My Blue Eyes Blue
Scott Alexander - 2015
This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.