In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.

    Hot off the back of her incredibly popular Monday Punday online series, Gemma Correll has surveyed her army of punning fans to create this hilarious collection of her best illustrated puns, as well as loads of new ones. Over the following pages you will see grin-inducing puns such as Wonton Cruelty featuring sadistic dim sum, or rotten eggs hurling abuse at each other. The sweet tooth has brought you some flowers and the seal of approval is very pleased to meet you. With over 50 puns, this book will bring a smile to even the most miserable person's face.

    In the neo-puritanical nineties, it's a challenge to defend the rights of smokers and a privilege to promote their liberty. Sure, it hurts a little when you're compared to Nazi war criminals, but Nick says he's just doing what it takes to pay the mortgage and put his son through Washington's elite private school St. Euthanasius. He can handle the pressure from the antismoking zealots, but he is less certain about his new boss, BR, who questions whether Nick is worth $150,000 a year to fight a losing war. Under pressure to produce results, Nick goes on a PR offensive. But his heightened notoriety makes him a target for someone who wants to prove just how hazardous smoking can be. If Nick isn't careful, he's going to be stubbed out.

    It contains random and relatable lists, hot tips, advice, activities, stories from my past, info about how I got started on YouTube, lots of LOLs and so much more!Hopefully this book will make you laugh, but also help you to see that everyone’s brain works differently and that your so-called weaknesses can really be gifts.

    But I write some decent stuff, and here's my way of sharing my odd dude thoughts.I'm the author of three 'major' series; Adrian's Undead Diary, Elmoryn's The Kinless Trilogy, and the Reemergence Novels, the first of which is Tesser: A Dragon Among Us.To help folks get a taste of my writing, I've put At Least He's Not On Fire together. Inside this wonderful electronic tome of my words, you'll find a healthy sized sampler of each of my major works, as well as several short stories that are mixed in for your entertainment. All in, Hell Hole, and The Vampire of Menlo Park are all great fun, and I hope you enjoy them.Dark Recollections: Book One of Adrian's Undead DiaryBeheading a zombie isn't easy in a world where you're more afraid of the living than the dead.Adrian Ring's simple life is thrown into chaos when the world is ripped apart by a plague of undead and legions of desperate survivors. Retreating to Auburn Lake Preparatory Academy, Adrian attempts to rescue friends and family on the way while dancing around his impending insanity over who and what he left behind, and evading maniac survivors. He saves his cat Otis, but shoots his mom. Pretty successful, all things considered.Dark Recollections is the first part of Adrian's own story of how he survived after "That Day." Told through his eyes as he talks to his laptop, affectionately named 'Mr. Journal," and through short stories that entwine with his tales that bring forth dark visions of a world being eaten alive by an unimaginable evil. Adrian's Undead Diary is an eight part epic about a solitary, guilt stricken man that didn't think he deserved to live, but realizes very soon that he survived, and suffered for a reason.The Wrath of the Orphans: Book One of The Kinless TrilogyMalwynn and his twin sister Umaryn live in a small town in northern Varrland. In idyllic New Picknell nearly nothing happens, and when their day to day routine is interrupted by a skirmish between an invading patrol of the dead from The Amaranth Empire and a defending force from Varrland, their world begins to come undone.With international war looming on the horizon New Picknell becomes the center of quite unwanted attention, and the twins have their world shattered. With nothing left to lose, they set out on a mission of vengeance that will take them to places they'd never dreamed of visiting, discovering mystical powers in The Way that will change their lives forever, and revealing dark knowledges best left undiscovered.Tesser: A Dragon Among Us A Novel of the ReemergenceImagine for a moment that you are a Dragon. A creature of unimaginable power, unending intelligence and strength, and you've just woken from ten thousand years of slumber. Worse yet, you've awoken underneath a city; Boston, an alien and strange place that defies everything you've ever known.Your last memories were of primordial forests, erupting volcanoes sculpting a developing world, faeries, witches, vampires, krakens, and monsters that feared where you turned your eyes.But all that is gone. Humans, only barely coming into their own in the world from your memory, have taken over. They have erected cities made of stone and steel erupting from the earth like stalagmites reaching for the high blue sky, and developed sciences that have overshadowed even the glory of old magic.This was not the way it was supposed to be.Meet Tesser, the Dragon. He who walks in any form, and flies the skies free of fear.A Dragon Among Us is Tesser's story. Walk with him as he learns the human way, and discovers the dark truth about why magic has really faded from the world he calls home.And just maybe, humanity will remember why dragons were most noble, and most savage creatures again.Welcome to The Reemergence.

    No more frantic searches at the last minute for that perfect magazine article. No agonizing choices between light reading and the serious stuff. Volume 2 has it all: Entertainment, humor, politics, pop culture, history, science...And more! And it's still divided by length--you can spend a minute with the Quickies, relax with Regular-Length articles, or get really comfortable with Long Items.With Uncle John's Second Bathroom Reader placed in that "special spot" in your home, you'll settle in happily and read about:The Real Difference Between Burger King and McDonald'sThe Origins of Gumby and G.I. JoeThe Story Behind "American Pie"The Lore of Route 66The Truth About Spiro AgnewStrange NicknamesBizzare LawsuitsAnd a Host of Great Bathroom Topics!For years the Bathroom Readers' Institute has researched your bathroom and reading habits in an attempt to understand and serve the interests of America's forgotten readers. Enjoy!

    

    So when the bishop calls her to be homemaking counselor, she knows that it's either a joke- or inspiration. Welcome to the Paradise Vue Ward, with stained glass windows so blindingly bright, the congregation has to wear shades. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll keep wondering how the author found out about all the wackiest people in your ward. Surely the funniest Mormon novel ever published. By the end you may discover it's also the best.