To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    She’d been fine the day before, swimming in the creek just as careless as a dog swimming in a creek should be, but Salem was now moaning, fussing and generally acting as if a cat had just been elected governor. Hitch knelt down in front of his dog and felt her fur, which was a little mangy. He also noticed how swollen Salem’s belly was. The ol' girl's giving birth! He thought. And her unborn offspring's roughly the size and shape of a gigantic egg!What Will Happen When it Hatches? If you think this is the end of the tale, then you don’t know Bufkin County. Come along with young Hitch, Constable Buford Bumford and Jethro as they discover that their dog Salem is going to launch something that will turn their lives upside down, and change the world in ways that no one could ever imagine.

    Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

    I’m an almost-ex-wife, and former full-time mom who works part-time at the local yarn store. The biggest mystery I’ve ever solved is finding a missing knitting needle tucked behind my ear after spending all morning looking for it. Someone in Harmony Lake is trying to stitch me up for murder.In a small town where everyone has a secret they want to keep hidden, no one is talking to the out-of-town cop who’s been brought in to solve the case. So, armed with everything I’ve learned from watching murder mysteries on TV, and a little help from my friends, it’s up to me to find the real killer and clear my name. Can I knit the clues together and expose the killer before they unravel and kill again? I hope so, because knitting needles aren't allowed in prison, and I look horrible in orange.If you like your cozy mysteries with a bit of humour, small town Canadian life, a hint of romance, a close circle of quirky, lovable characters that you wish you knew in real life, dogs and cats, and free knitting patterns, there's something in this series for you.Clean read: no graphic violence, sex, or strong language.Each ebook includes a link to a free knitting pattern at the end of the book.Included stories: Knit One Murder Two, Killer Cables, and Murder & MerinoDownload The Knitorious Murder Mystery Books 1 - 3 and start unravelling the mysteries in three entertaining cozy mysteries today!Read FREE on Kindle Unlimited

    Twice-Touched by the Blue Sense--which gives her the ability to feel the emotions of others, and read impressions left behind on objects--Marnie also has a doctorate in preternatural biology and a working knowledge of the dark arts. She is considered without peer in the psychic community. Then her first big FBI case ended with a bullet in one shoulder and a chip on the other, a queasy heart and a serial killer in the wind, leaving her a public flop and a private wreck. When the FBI’s preternatural crimes unit tracks her down at a remote mountain lodge for her insight on a local case, her quiet retirement is promptly besieged by a stab-happy starlet, a rampaging ghoul, and a vampire-hunting jackass in tight Wranglers. Marnie figures the only real mystery is which one will kill her first. Too mean to die young, backed up by friends in cold places, and running with a mouth as demure as a cannon’s blast, Marnie Baranuik is about to discover that there’s no such thing as quitting time when you’re Touched.

    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.

    In less than 48 hours, his best friend has a date with the needle, the kind of date you don’t walk away from with a kiss. Moose has to find out who framed his pit bull buddy for the savage slaying of a French poodle — and then convince the humans that he’s nailed the right guy. But with no leads and little evidence to go on, there’s only one person in Chicago that has a prayer of hunting down the real killer in time: Antonio Gattogrosso, legendary proprietor of the Feline Detective Agency. Fat Tony. The rave reviews are pouring in: "It's a great summer read. Just like me, you'll want to keep an eye out for it!" - Fisheye Martinez "I predict it will be a smashing success, dahlinks!" - Madame LuLu, astrologer to the stars "Buy dis book if you knows what's good for youse." - Fat Tony Gattogrosso

    . .Jean and Rosie are involved in a new adventure together—one they’re both excited about—and they’ll introduce you to some interesting characters along the way.While Jean is also busy dealing with numerous man issues, her best friend, Rosie, has plenty of issues of her own: she’s facing empty nest syndrome, her husband is recovering from heart surgery, and she’s finally prepared to solve a deep, dark secret from her past. Then, there’s the unexpected news that could shatter her optimism and faith. In Woolen Bikinis is an engaging story about the unexpected twists and turns that can happen in any woman’s life, as well as a strong friendship, one Jean and Rosie are fortunate to have, that can help carry one through.It’s also about Simple Pleasures, plenty of them (like woolen bikinis). Be prepared to be delighted!

    All of that changes, though, when Lee leads a team of old friends to virtual glory as the first-ever group to beat Mako Assault, a revolutionary new game that has emerged from nowhere to take the Internet by storm. As a reward for their achievement, the group is flown to meet the game’s mysterious designer and assist in developing the follow-on game Mako 2.0. But what they find when they get there is more than they’d expected…much more. Mako’s intent was never to entertain its players. It was to train them.An epic sci-fi thrill-ride of action, suspense, laughter, and romance, Mako is the story of five ordinary people who will have to rise to the challenge of extraordinary events, driven only by their faith in each other. If they can’t, the game will become very real to more than just themselves—the Earth itself may ultimately be at stake.

    Elrod's picked 15 of her favorite short works for this multi-genre collection spanning 15 years of publication.Also included is a never before published VAMPIRE FILES story, featuring her urban fantasy vampire PI, Jack Fleming!Each story has been polished afresh for this anthology, with pages of new material added.More information -- and previews of the stories! -- may be found at her website vampwriter-dot-com.Titles:1. A Night at the (Horse) Opera (Vampire Files, Fleming)2. The Breath of Bast (Vampire Files), Ecsott)3. Bossman (Original mystery, no vamps)4. Slaughter (Vampire Files, Fleming & Gordy)5. The Devil's Mark (Original historical vampire)6. You'll Catch Your Death (Vampire Files)7. Izzy's Shoe-In (Historical mystery introducing Izzy DeLeon, fearless girl reporter)8. The Quick Way Down (Vampire Files, Fleming and Gordy)9. The Scottish Ploy (Original romance/mystery)10. Grave-Robbed (Vampire Files, Fleming)11. The Company You Keep (Vampire Files, Gabriel Kroun)12. Death in Dover (Jonathan Barrett before he got vamped, historical mystery)13. Drawing Dead (ALL NEW VAMPIRE FILES, Fleming)14. King of Shreds and Patches (Hamlet from a different point of view, mystery)15. Fugitive (Science fiction/space opera)16. BONUS STORY! The Wind Breathes Cold (Quincey Morris: Vampire)

    Winston, Ava’s semi-aware house, doesn’t like the fact that Olivia is there baking while Ava isn’t home.Hey, at least Ava can be sure she doesn’t need a security system.

    after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for over four hundred years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great great great great grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

    Apart from her homicidal toaster, dead parents, and general ennui. Well, maybe not that happy. Either way, now that she’s on the run from a shadowy corporation, seeking the secrets of her own family history and tolerating the inanities of a retired god, things are looking a bit more interesting. -- “A hint of Adams, a dollop of Pratchett, all delivered with a mischievous smile for an intriguing tale that is great fun … A wonderfully humorous tale that keeps you smiling and intrigued to the very end.” - Te Radar “Ever wondered what life would be like if all our machines were powered not by electricity or petrol, but by emotions? Neither had I. But now, thanks to Paul Mannering, I can't stop wondering. "Clever, satirical and more than a little weird, Engines of Empathy introduces one of the strangest worlds I've encountered in New Zealand fiction - a world that, much like our own, is haunted by the moral consequences of an energy-intensive industrial revolution. From sulking toasters, depressed computers and a passive aggressive fridge to quantum religions and corporate conspiracies, Engines of Empathy is a crazy ride.” - Dylan Horrocks “Engines of Empathy is charming, clever, funny, and a rollicking good read. Charlotte Pudding is a heroine sensible and capable enough to tackle an abundance of eccentric characters, shady conspiracies, neurotic machines, attack-sarcasm, and a religion based on quantum mechanics. If Douglas Adams had been forced to undergo relationship counselling with his toaster, this is the book that would have resulted.” - Debbie Cowens, author of Mansfield with Monsters

    Her love life is a mess and business is slow. Then one day she inherits a magical book and everything changes… Along with the ladies in her knitting circle, Penny starts to study witchcraft. Just in time, too! Werewolves, vampires, and tennis-playing spirits make their way to Hillcrest, and trouble abounds. Can Penny protect her town? This boxset includes five Hillcrest Witch Mysteries: The Case of the Power Spell The Case of the Banishing Spell The Case of the Desire Spell The Case of the Trust Spell The Case of the Vision Spell

    When he sees strange individuals coming, but never leaving his neighbor’s house, he begins to suspect that something nefarious is going on. Now that he saw a small child walk in but never walk out, he and his wife Clara need to figure out what is going on. They will stop at nothing to rescue the innocent boy that is trapped inside before it’s too late. Short story: 10,000 words