And that's exactly the way he likes it, except when he doesn't. Every week in the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune (and now and then in many other papers), Erskine distills, mocks, and makes us laugh at the absurdities of suburban fatherhood. And now, he's gathered the very best of these witty and wise essays—and invited his kids (and maybe even Posh) to annotate them with updated commentary, which they promise won't be too snarky. This handsome book is the perfect gift for the father who would have everything—if he hadn't already given it all to his kids.

    From the moment her positive test result is revealed in a fog of canine flatulence, to the day she's gently hoisted onto the delivery table by a front-end loader, Paige guides you through her pregnancy with twins, careful to only hold one of your hands in case you need to cover your eyes with the other. You'll laugh out loud as she recounts the horrors of birthing class, her struggles with morning sickness, sexy Halloween costumes, applying for maternity leave - and of course, the impossible task of corralling those wayward cankles - all in her own inimitable style. This book is a must-read for any mother, or anyone who has a mother to whom they probably need to apologize.

    Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.

    They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can.This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off.In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!* Week of June 10, 2018

    Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner ReadersSuitable for ages 2-8Beautifully Illustrated Story that will have both parents and children laughing out loud!Find out what happened to this family when Mom gets fed up and decides to stop doing all the chores.How will the family cope when they are so used to Mom doing so much for them?What happens next is hilarious, but also includes a valuable lesson for the entire family, even the cat and dog!What would you do if your Mommy quit on you?You and your children will love how the family resolves the issue in this adorable and humorous tale.

    A one-volume complete illustrated guide for mother and baby, this revised and updated edition includes a fully-photographic first-aid section.

    Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where's the good stuff, the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don t tell you about pregnancy the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    But, like butterflies must first be caterpillars, becoming a big boy or girl doesn’t happen overnight.In this funny rhyming story for children aged 3 to 7 years old, children will laugh at the illustrations and the extremes that our little dragon friend goes to, as he tries to breathe fire for the first time. After trying so hard with no luck at all, he meets a wise owl who tells him that his Mom has all the answers. This humorous story was created with the intention of helping young children to understand that life is magic. But, just like real magic, you never really know when it will happen!

    These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough but would read as if written by people who should not have written them. Sadly, that day is upon us. The fourth book in the HOW series, Cold Fusion, is to be feared. Like its predecessors, Giraffes? Giraffes! and Animals of the Ocean, Cold Fusion must also be kept far from the young people in your life. This book reveals the secrets of cold fusion, one of the most controversial scientific pursuits that can be conducted in a bathtub.

    Her drawings brilliantly capture the unique experience of motherhood and the huge range of emotions that it brings.In this warm and witty book, Maria writes candidly about what becoming a mother has meant for her. Interspersing her words with brilliant cartoons, she delivers a marvellously entertaining snapshot of life as a modern-day parent. Her sharp observations cover everything from the sleep-deprived early days of having newborn twins, to the reality of being a working mum; from just getting out of the house to slowly getting your social life back.Upbeat and humorous, this is a wonderful book for parents and parents-to-be.

    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

    Author Armin Brott devotes a chapter to every three months of the second and third years. In each chapter, Brott charts the physical, intellectual, verbal, and emotional changes the child is going through and examines the emotional and psychological developments the father may be experiencing. He discusses issues that may develop between fathers and their partners as well as matters that involve the whole family. In addition, each chapter contains a section called “You and Your Child,” in which activities and issues appropriate to the given age are discussed.New topics in this revised and expanded edition cover the latest research on child development, including brain growth. There is more advice for dads who are older, single, or in the military; fathers of preemies and multiples; stepfathers; and stay-at-home dads. This new edition adds information on a wide range of subjects, from helping a child grieve over the loss of a relative or a pet to health and safety issues to care of special-needs children.Incorporating the author’s and other fathers’ personal experiences, as well as the advice of top researchers in the field, and illustrated throughout with delightful New Yorker-style cartoons underscoring the universality of the joys and woes of parenting, Fathering Your Toddler is an essential sourcebook for every dad. It’s certain to give every mom helpful insights as well."

    Recently, Kessinger Publishing's rare reprints has re-issued the book. The protagonist, Roger Stetworth, unwillingly joins a slave ship called the -Golden Hind- captained by Luke Chilton. (When Chilton demanded that Roger -sign aboard- he refused and was clubbed on the head and thrown overboard.) He is rescued by the -Hurst Castle- and doctored by a painfully stereotyped Irishman. The -Hurst Castle- is abandoned but does not founder in a gale and the crew, unable to get to him, are forced to leave Stetworth marooned aboard. The ship drifts into the center of the Sargasso Sea where Stetworth finds himself in a ships' graveyard in which survivors of previous shipwrecks still inhabit the forgotten ships. Stetworth must rely on his own ingenuity to get free from the choking sargasso weeds........ Thomas Allibone Janvier (July 16, 1849 - June 18, 1913) was an American story-writer and historian, born in Philadelphia of Provencal descent. Early life and marriage: Janvier received a public school education, then worked in Philadelphia for newspapers from 1870-81. In 1878 he married Catherine Ann Drinker (May 1, 1841- July 19, 1922), an artist who was the first woman teacher at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts and first teacher to Cecilia Beaux. Later in life, she accompanied her husband on his travels while writing books and translating books from the Provencale language. Many of Janvier's published works would be dedicated -To C. A. J.- New York: Janvier went to New York in 1881. From 1884-94, he lived in the Washington Square district of New York. A few years after arriving, he published the Ivory Black Stories, tales of artist life, which were reprinted in book form in 1885 as Color Studies. In them he pictured the life and color of what was then considered the Latin quarter of the city, with the old-fashioned French restaurants, the artist colony to the north, and the studios in Tenth Street where Abbey, Millet, F. Hopkinson Smith, Laffan and others made the Tile Club famous. He published many stories and articles in Harper's Magazine.[2] Travels and death: Janvier spent several years in Colorado, New Mexico and Mexico, thereby gaining inspiration and material for much of his literary work. His travels in Mexico produced the Aztec Treasure House and his stories of Old New Spain. He and his wife also lived for three years in Avignon, Provence, France, where they became friends with Mistral and Felix Gras. Catherine A. Janvier's translations of the latter's work introduced him to English-speaking readers.His books from this period include An Embassy to Provence, Christmas Kalends of Provence and The South of France. He was made an honorary member of the Felibrige society in France, and of the Fol Lore Society of London, where he and his wife lived from 1897 to 1900, and the Century Club in New York. Janvier died in New York on June 18, 1913. He is interred in Moorestown, New Jersey. Literary family: Janvier's sister, Margaret Thomson Janvier (1844-1913), was born in New Orleans. Under the pen name Margaret Vandergrift she wrote many juveniles, among which are: The Absent-Minded Fairy, and Other Verses (1884); The Dead Doll, and Other Verses (1900); Under the Dog-Star (1900); and Umbrellas to Mend (1905). Janvier's niece, Emma P. Spicer, going by the stage name of Emma Janvier, was a well-known comedian on Broadway and elsewhere from the turn of the century until her death in the early 1920s. Janvier was also related to Philadelphia businessman and poet Francis De Haes Janvier.

    Celebrated in particular for his “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” skits, featuring hilarious renditions of Rick James and Prince, Murphy now recounts many of the actual stories that inspired these popular sketches in vivid and comical detail in Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy. With his flare for storytelling and his distinctive and fearless voice, it’s no wonder that Charlie Murphy has been the subject of many featured stories in numerous magazines, including GQ, Essence, Rolling Stone, and he was recently listed as one of the Hottest People to Watch in Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List.” Featuring outrageous misadventures as part of his younger brother Eddie’s entourage, and hysterical encounters with numerous celebrities, Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy is a fascinating and wildly funny chronicle from one of the most talented comedians today.

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!