Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    How will he handle it? Steve is a little new to this diary writing stuff but he thought he’d give it a try. His sister gave him the diary because, in her words, “…you don’t have any friends and diaries can be your best friend.” But Steve is a nice guy with a good personality, why doesn’t he have any friends? The truth is that he has a problem … He Farts He farts often and loudly. This diary is a compilation of his attempts to get through the day and find a friend. Will he be successful? Get this book now and find out! ACT NOW! Click the orange BUY button at the top of this page! Then, you can immediately begin reading Diary Of A Farting Kid – A Parody In Cartoons on your Kindle device, computer, tablet or smartphone.

     After seven years of self-imposed exile after the love of her life cheated on her, Becca is finally going home. She’d like to think she’s being brave but in her honest moments she knows she’s being forced into it by the loss of her job. Can she trust herself not to hunt down her cheating ex and fling herself into his arms? Will she ever find the true love that she yearns for? Finding the perfect home with a hot but unavailable landlord and a life far better than she could have hoped for, Becca is still plagued by self-doubt. Is she annoying? Is she the most accident prone person in the world? Is she dislikeable? She thinks she might be all of these, but most importantly, is she normal? Because normal people don’t have The Beccabird squawking in their ears...

    You are clearly a fan of this legendary game that goes by the name of MINECRAFT! I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret! “MINECRAFT: Funny clean Minecraft jokes and memes for Children. (Minecraft, Minecraft Secrets, Minecraft Stories, Minecraft Books For Kids, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Comics, Minecraft Xbox)” is a great choice for anyone with a sense of humor, especially a fan of this great and iconic game! You will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place Let the laughs begin…

    Great for little children” – J Moffat “Such a good book and perfect for kids aged 5-16” – K Bowey “Very clever jokes. I appreciate clean humor! I think the artwork is awesome!” –Mommy “Jokes like this are great for developing a kid's funny bone. More than that, though, they are excellent for developing reading and English language skills. This is a Kindle ebook that a child will enjoy reading through alone again and again, even when a parent has grown weary of it.” –L Spring From #1 Amazon Bestselling Children’s Author and Illustrator Riley Weber! This is a one-of-a-kind jokes book for kids, featuring 50 pages filled with funny, short, and clean jokes for kids. Each joke features 2 full page illustrations -one for the joke, and one for the punch line. This way, kids can guess the punch line to the joke, before seeing (and hearing the answer). Each joke features a child telling the joke as well as the punchline. This way, kids can read the book on their own and hear the jokes as they look at the pictures. Telling a good joke is like have a great gift in your pocket. Jokes make people laugh and set them at ease. ”This book made me laugh out loud” – Amazon Customer Review Preachers, motivational speakers, and salesmen are usually good joke tellers. Kids can practice their joke telling skills as they learn the jokes in this book. Read and learn these funny jokes in this hilarious book for kids of all ages…featuring over 50 illustrations. Your children will love this one!

    After a long career spent rescuing prisoners from the KGB or helping defectors across the Berlin Wall the world has changed. The Wall has gone and no longer is there a need for a Russian speaking, ice-cold killer. The bad guys now all speak Arabic and state secrets are transmitted via satellite using blowfish algorithms impenetrable to anybody over the age of twelve. Counting down the days to his retirement by babysitting drunken visiting politicos he is seconded by MI6 for one last case. £250,000,000 of government money destined as a payoff for the dictator of a strategic African nation goes missing on its way to a remote Cornish airfield. Tremayne is dispatched to retrieve the money and nothing is going to stand in his way. Armed with an IQ of 165 and a bewildering array of weaponry and gadgets he is not about to be outmanoeuvred by the inhabitants of a small Cornish fishing village. Or is he? The Money That Never Was is a hilarious new novel by the author of the best selling "Return of The Hippy". Combining the innocent humour of the old Ealing Comedies with themes of alienation and belonging David Luddington manages to weave an engaging tale of one man's personal struggle with a world gone mad. It just happens that the man who is struggling is a trained MI6 agent, ruthless and efficient and the world with which is is struggling consists of fish & chips, cider and fudge. Not to mention the bungling Barry Penwrith desperate to hang on to his windfall.

    But by day Gerry is Gerrard, who is not only married, he’s a vicar. A vicar with doubts. Although Lucinda, his wife, has very few doubts when a trip to Birmingham goes startlingly right. And ageing gigolo Nelson never sees himself as a messiah until Albert convinces him he can walk on water – or is that just revenge for Nelson having put his head down the toilet at school? Does Gerrard really witness the Second Coming? Will Lucinda’s American prove himself in Hong Kong? And will the Late Contessa ever retrieve her Bentley?Find out in Giles Curtis’s twelfth rip-roaring, hilarious romp through the intricacies of fidelity, faith and epiphanies.

    His wife Helen feels isolated in their large suburban home where her social life has all but disappeared as a result of their life long friends relocating to various retirement communities around the country. Mike is dead set against such a move, viewing it as a giant step closer to the grave. Mike and Helen struggle to come to a mutually agreeable solution spending countless hours visiting one retirement community after another. Their journey takes them from Connecticut to Florida and numerous stops in between. You guessed it. Mike finds objections everywhere and voices them non-stop to every sales agent. Then out of the blue all their plans take an unexpected turn.

     When Jack Waldie and his wife Nicola buy a house in rural Spain they intend to start a new life there, away from the hustle and bustle of Glasgow, but when things go awry between them Jack chooses to keep the spacious old place and moves there to write his crime novels in peace. In the small village in an area known as Spanish Lapland, due to its ever decreasing population, Jack befriends key local people who refuse to allow their birthplace to die. When he’s persuaded to look for a lodger in order to further their aims, the scene is set for a far more eventful summer than he anticipated.

    Buried at the bottom of a drawer are a collection of notebooks full of Dan's advice on how to live without him. Pippa's notebook is red and contains his instructions on how to fall in love again. But Dan doesn’t just want Pippa to fall in love with anyone - Dan’s crazy suggestion is that Pippa should date his handsome friend, Mikey Stenton, a known thrill-seeking ladies’ man. Reluctant to follow Dan’s advice, Pippa enters the world of dating. She embarks on a humorous journey of self-discovery, with the help of her children and two best friends.  It isn't long before Pippa is finding it hard to ignore Dan's instructions and Mikey Stenton. Is Mikey really the man that everyone thinks him to be? Or was Dan right, and Mikey’s simply been misunderstood?   An uplifting and heart-warming story about friendship and finding love, the second time around.

     Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.

    Now comes the sequel… ‘Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way’ picks up where Mark and Alex left off two years ago and sees them complete the last 100 miles of the Pennine Way. It’s a walk that tests them to their limits (well, one of them…) as they come close to exhaustion, even closer to being eaten alive and – armed only with a pair of shorts and a cup of tea – face-to-face with an assassin. …And, of course, they meet the inevitable cast of ‘characters.’ Barefoot Jimmy, Mr & Mrs Mad Eye, Lonesome Pete and ‘Theresa May.’ But there’s a serious side to the walk as well. It’s two years since they were last on the Pennine Way. They’re both two years older: how has their father/son relationship changed? Who’s really in charge this time? ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way’ has been a consistent bestseller with over 130 5* reviews on Amazon. “My partner sent me to read in the spare room. All he could hear was me laughing! Would recommend this book to everyone, walkers or not.” ‘Return to the Pennine Way’ will make you laugh, smile and shed the occasional tear. You’ll be on the journey with Mark and Alex – and you won’t want it to end.

    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

    Celebrated in particular for his “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” skits, featuring hilarious renditions of Rick James and Prince, Murphy now recounts many of the actual stories that inspired these popular sketches in vivid and comical detail in Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy. With his flare for storytelling and his distinctive and fearless voice, it’s no wonder that Charlie Murphy has been the subject of many featured stories in numerous magazines, including GQ, Essence, Rolling Stone, and he was recently listed as one of the Hottest People to Watch in Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List.” Featuring outrageous misadventures as part of his younger brother Eddie’s entourage, and hysterical encounters with numerous celebrities, Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy is a fascinating and wildly funny chronicle from one of the most talented comedians today.